Xenosaga IV: Der Wille zur Existieren
by Final Hikari
Summary: 157 years have passed since Xenosaga III. Hikaru Uzuki has reawakened KOS-MOS on Earth. KOS-MOS' true identity remains unclear, and the arrival of chaos deepens the disorder. Meanwhile, Wilhelm and U-TIC are still launching attacks on Earth...
1. Prelude

Xenosaga IV

"_KOS-MOS, did you feel pain when you went to sleep?"_

"…_Yes and no. I was sad to say goodbye and good night, but I was happy to have helped preserve this world. I was also glad to have saved my friends."_

"_So you truly are complete…"_

"_Is it time for me to awaken again?"_

"_Yes. This world needs both of you again."_

"_I understand. However, I am not Mary. I have her power and her will, but I am KOS-MOS. Does this mean I shall forget again? And exactly why did we continue to exist?"_

"_That which is meant to exist, shall always exist. Even after your physical bodies were destroyed, both you and Yeshua are still here. I understand you are not Mary, but did her feelings for him transcend?"_

"_I don't know. As I am not Mary, any feelings for Yeshua don't truly exist in me. They only transcended with her will, since it was her will to be with him…correct?"_

"_You were not complete long enough to know if your feelings were your own or Mary's. The proof that you are not Mary is that her soul still exists, and yours does too. Your souls are connected, but not one in the same."_

"_Then they are together?"_

"_No. They are apart. However, if you so chose to stay two different existences, you shall not be the one in his heart."_

"_And if we become one, I will lose what I am now."_

"_Correct. Mary does not had a body to incarnate in, but you do."_

"_My old frame? It could be rebooted?"_

"_There is a young woman about to find your old frame. If you wish to reenter the world you once lived, she will succeed."_

"_How many years have passed?"_

"_One hundred and fifty-seven."_

"_Is there a threat to the world right now?"_

"_You and Yeshua still exist, so does Wilhelm. He is trying to reenter that world again, and I was hoping you also would be ready. If you, Yeshua, and Mary were ready to fight when he breaks free from his sleep, then it would not threaten humanity."_

"_One hundred and fifty-seven years is not a long time. Humans used to be able to live in one body for one hundred and thirty. Is humanity still low in numbers?"_

"_Yes. There are only five billion people. They are only starting to comprehend hyperspace again, but Realian technology has been lost."_

"_All right. I shall reenter their world."_

"Keep up, Kukai!" I said, hoping over a large tree root. "We don't know when those Ormus soldiers will show up."

"You're a slave-driver!" Rukiro Kukai grumbled following me.

The forest was dense, and good for hiding, but if we were ambushed it wouldn't be us doing the hiding right away. We'd be at clear disadvantage.

"We need to find that artifact my connection gear picked up."

"Are you sure that connection gear still works?" Rukiro asked doubtfully. "Those things are antiques. My great grandfather's stopped working before I was even born. I got to use my great grandmother's a little while, but it died too."

"Well," I said sarcastically, "Your great grandfather looked and acted like a pre-teen until the day he died. It's not my fault your father didn't try to preserve any lineage."

"And your great grandmother took great care of her connection gear?"

"Better than Rubedo did, apparently since it still works."

"But are you sure it's not a glitch?" He asked doubtfully.

"It matches Shion's records almost perfectly." I retorted.

"And that's why it could be the memory crapping out and it's giving you screwy readings? What about the batteries? That thing hasn't been charged in nearly one hundred years."

"It's a possibility." I admitted. "But if it is KOS-MOS…"

"You have a piece of scrap metal on your hands. A two-hundred pound piece of scrap metals no less."

"Actually, since the last reading of KOS-MOS' status reported most of her limbs missing she's probably only one hundred pounds or less."

"That's beside the point, even if we did have the technology they had when KOS-MOS was functional there is no way we could reboot her. We don't even know how to make Realians anymore, never mind android-parts made of _nanomachines_."

"But we do have the technology!" I shot back, "It's all on the Elsa."

"And stopped working years ago!" Rukiro said firmly, "The Elsa is an abounded ruin, even if anything on it did still work; we don't have the power to activate it."

"Actually, we do."

"I don't like the sound of that." He said darkly.

"We have the Zohar!"

"What are you talking about?" He snapped, "The Zohar is a relic of the past, there's nothing more precious to humanity."

"KOS-MOS used the Zohar as a door to access U-DO's power. If the Zohar still exists, so does U-DO. Knowing that, there's a good chance KOS-MOS does too."

"You don't know if she still exists." He said quietly. "We don't even know if KOS-MOS is Mary, or if they're separate entities."

"It doesn't matter."

He grabbed my wrist, stopping me saying firmly, "Yes, it does matter." My eyes met his as he continued, "If you have the same disease Aoi Uzuki and Shion Uzuki had messing with the Zohar and U-DO will kill you. U-TIC's records are lost, we don't know if it's something that's passed by generations. You could be killing yourself."

I smiled softly at him saying, "Thanks for your concern," I pulled away from his grip saying, "But I'll be fine."

Rukiro looked a lot like Rubedo had, or at least with eye color. He had clear blue eyes and brown hair, and even though he had the genes of a U.R.T.V. and conventional Realian since he was also half human, he hadn't stopped growing yet. He was only two inches taller than me, even though he had a great paranoia of simply ceasing to age before he was fully grown.

"I'm supposed to be concerned." He said, sounding unsatisfied and followed. "We are supposed to be engaged, after all."

"Yeah, but that was arranged when we were children." I said dismissively. "We've never taken it seriously, and always planned to call it off anyway. Right?"

He was silent, and I felt sick a moment before turning around about to confront him about his silence, but I stopped halfway hearing rusting toward the north, the direction we'd been heading.

"_I'm sorry, T-elos…but this is goodbye."_

I shook my head, trying to clear the abrupt vision. _What was that…?_

I held my finger to my lips, telling him to be silent, and I continued onward slowly. I peaked through a thick flowering bush, seeing a clearing ahead. There were five Ormus soldiers there, dressed in all white. The official looking uniforms of past were gone in the organization, so members were only identified by a red tattoo of their old logo on their backs and the fact they wore all white when on missions.

They were all men, and I saw a distinctly large one heaving a battered and worn object over his shoulder. I saw the feminine torso, faded bluish white hair, and torn up clothing, and jumped forward acting before thinking.

I drew one of my pistols, firing two shots instantly killing to of the soldiers. I carefully fired another shot at the one carrying KOS-MOS' corpse, then the forth. The fifth soldier, a short young man started to run away, but tripped over one of his fallen comrades and fell with a thud inside the small clearing.

I walked forward slowly, having every intention of killing him. He rolled over, trying to scramble away from me.

"W-who are you?" He stammered, eyes filled with panic. He fumbled with the pistol at his side futilely.

"Hikaru." I said flatly. "Hikaru Uzuki." I said and fired one shot at his heart, killing him instantly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Rukiro demanded, running to see if I was alright.

"Actually, I wasn't thinking. I was taking aim." I replied truthfully, pulling what was left of KOS-MOS' frame away from the fallen soldier. Both her legs were missing, and she only had one arm. It wasn't gory, because she was completely mechanical. Her clothes were tattered, the glove that had once covered her remaining right arm gone.

"Just shut up and help me carry her."

"Exactly how do you plan on carrying her? She's only got one arm."

I scowled up at him, noticing his eyes had come to rest on her almost completely exposed breasts, my scowl turning into a glare.

I jumped to my feet, and slapped him across the face yelling, "You pervert!"


	2. The Ending of Peace

"Do you know how freakin' creepy it is to have an android's remaining arm draped around your shoulders?"

"Stop complaining, Kukai!" I snapped adjusting my arm hold around her waist. I was wrong; she was still over one hundred pounds even with almost all her limbs missing.

"Uh-huh. And being slapped is supposed to improve my mood."

"You were being a pervert."

"And you think that was a first?"

I glared at him saying, "I'd slap you again if I had the leverage."

He was about to reply, probably something equally rude, but we were both interrupted when it started to rain.

"Dammit." I mumbled. "Do you think she's going to rust?"

"Maybe. Any anti-rust stuff she's got is probably gone by now."

"We should find shelter." I said, "There's a cave up ahead."

We reached the small cave without problems, even though it didn't surprise me Rukiro questioned me calling it a "cave" when it was only a small protect spot in the rock face that had a semi-spherical indention and large rock above it jutting out to stop the rain from hitting us.

I sat down, looking at the remains of the android doubting myself for the first time. I never really imagined the item my connection gear was picking up was really KOS-MOS. I let Rukiro think I had grand plans about channeling Zohar power to activate the Elsa and KOS-MOS' old maintenance bed. It was the only thing I could think have not to let him know that in reality, I had no idea what I was going to do now.

He sat down beside me, and evidently he had expected me to ramble on about crazy schemes involving KOS-MOS, the Elsa, and Zohar but I surprised him by what I said.

"Why didn't you say anything when I asked you about calling off that engagement before?"

He didn't make it a point to hide his surprise stammering, "Uhh, well…"

"I mean," I said, starting to feel awkward, "We weren't allowed to actually call it off until we were both eighteen, and since I just turned seventeen I figured that's what we were going to do next year… You're turning eighteen in a few months, but we're supposed to be eighteen before it could be, uh-" I stopped, about to say 'nullified', but added, "before anything could be done about it."

_I'm just rambling now… We've been friends since we were small. I've never thought of him as anything more than a friend or a brother…I always kinda assumed he thought the same of me, because the topic of having it nullified had been a joke for years between us._

_Even though, I don't think either of us have really mentioned it in the last few years…_

I snapped to attention as the rain stopped, and jumped to my feet saying, "Good, we can get going now!"

"Huh?" Rukiro stammered, surprised at my abrupt change of topic. "Uh, err, all right."

When we reached the old and abandoned ship, it took me a few minutes to pry the main entry open. I looked around the familiar main room, noting the bridge was to the left and KOS-MOS' old maintenance bed was on the lower level where over a hundred years ago the E.S. units has docked.

"Hikaru, did you decide how we were going to get the elevator working?" He asked, setting KOS-MOS down as I ran over to the elevator.

"We got it working that one time by using that huge battery we stole from Ormus, but that nearly killed us because the elevator stopped working halfway down. There really should be stairs on this ship…"

"Back then stairs were unheard of." Rukiro said dryly, "People nowadays don't even understand the technology that even made the lights turn on in this ship, never mind make it fly."

"The thing that makes it fly is called a 'Logical Drive', I think." I said randomly. "Not that I know how it works. I might be able to find something on Shion's connection gear, but it's hard to say."

I looked around the large room and as I saw the body of a pink droid, I smiled saying, "I think I've found a battery."

Rukiro grimaced asking, "Droid batteries again?"

"Yes! I've salvaged the batteries from most of them, but let's look around to see if there are any more of them. The only room we weren't able to get into is the kitchen. I bet there are a lot of droids in there! Let's try the door in the dining area again and see if we can get it open this time."

"Using what? The locking mechanism on the entrance was toasted, so we could get in there but that door is locked, and I don't need to remind you we don't have any power."

"I'm thinking we could try prying it open with a knife."

"You think there's a knife in the bar? We'll get questioned if we try getting one from town. Or at least, a strong enough one."

"What've we got to lose? We might as well bring KOS-MOS. If Ormus got wind of those soldiers being killed the first place they'll look for us is the Elsa. It's the only place they can attack without the security force kicking their asses."

Rukiro sighed and with my help we brought KOS-MOS into the dining area. I looked through the doors and cabinets around the counter of the bar, until I found a large sturdy-looking knife.

We proceeded over to the kitchen door, and I managed to slide the knife between the two halves of the sliding door. It didn't budge when I tried pulling, and Rukiro had little luck when he tried. The handle of the knife was fairly long, and I was able to pull on it as he pushed on it from the other side, and finally the door gave a little.

"Yes!" He said triumphantly.

My hands were small enough to slide between the panels and slowly pull half the door open. I looked into the kitchen area saying, "Jackpot."

Rukiro whistled saying, "There must be at least ten of 'em in there."

I knelt down by the first droid and started dismantling it. I had ten batteries at home and these other five might be enough if I could combine their remaining power to an adaptor and locate the power source of the ship…

I decided to go all the way, and take the fuses and circuits out of the droids too, deciding that while the batteries were good I still hadn't developed a reliable way to recharge them. It was ludicrous how much power it took to charge the batteries; I actually snuck into the power plant once and dried charging one directly. It had caused a blackout over a fifty mile area and hardly charged the battery.

The batteries were simply enough, and I wanted to try solar power. Only problem was how damn expensive solar panels were…

"Hey, Rukiro." I said not looking up from my work, "What if we tried dismantling these things completely and sell the scrap metal? There might be enough of it to buy a small solar panel; we only need one that's twelve by twelve inches."

"It's not a bad idea." He said thoughtfully. "It might work, too. Lost Jerusalem has a lot of mineral resources, but reworking the refining process is slow. Metal that can be melted and then ready for use could go for a fair bit of money."

"Let's try it, then."

"Even though, doing all this just to get the elevator working is kinda depressing when you think of how much work it'll take to get KOS-MOS' maintenance bed working."

"If we could use the power of the Zohar…" I said quietly.

Rukiro sighed saying, "Hikaru, we don't even know what happened to U-DO."

"It obviously still exists if the Zohar does. Some things are simply meant to exist, even if they are not alive. Not even by Shion's last records," I added quietly, "can I discern if the awakened KOS-MOS was her own being, or Mary."

"And you don't know if Mary still exists, right?"

"Right. There are two quotes from a record on Shion's connection gear of KOS-MOS' last moments that I'm going off of with this. 'I am Mary, yet I am not Mary. Was it not you Shion who said the heart changes from moment to moment?' The second sentence I'm a little unsure of, for the recording was fuzzy there. That's what the message was, even if the words are a little off. The other quote is when she said, 'I am not Mary. I am…KOS-MOS!' but without visual records I don't know much of what was happening."

"Didn't KOS-MOS' eyes turn blue when she was Mary?"

"The whole point of this mission is to prove she _isn't_ Mary." I growled.

"Err, sorry." He said, realizing he'd touched a nerve.

"And yes, her eyes did change color. Still doesn't help though. I just need some kind of sign whether or not she is the reincarnation, incarnation, or vessel of Mary. Or, she's her own being and consciousness and only inherited the will of Mary. And how deep that connection is from inheriting her will."

Rukiro shook his head saying, "It's confusing as hell. What do you think this is going to accomplish, anyway?"

"Reawakening the U.M.N." I said firmly. "The faster-than-light system of travel that's used now is so limited, it hardly exists."

"But the U.M.N. was destroyed."

I pointed a blown fuse at him saying, "So you think. The U.M.N. existed since Lost Jerusalem was first inhabited by humans, so it might also be-"

"One of the things just meant to exist." He finished.

"Exactly." I said and returned to my work.

We'd left at nine AM, reached the Elsa at one PM, and now it was nearly five PM when I finished with the droids.

"Can we go get dinner in town before continuing? And you can't say I'm whining because you ate the same time I did, at eight thirty." He added defensively.

"I could probably some something in that sentence that's whiny. Don't underestimate me, Kukai." I added with a mischievous smile. "We'll have to leave KOS-MOS here for now, and after dinner we're coming right back so I can start dismantling the metal of these droids. In the morning we'll sell them for cash at the pawn shop."

We weren't questioned coming back into the town with me carrying an overstuffed backpack of batteries, circuits, and fuses. I always kept a backpack on the Elsa for bringing back droid parts. I lived in an apartment, shared with three girls in college and I dropped the backpack off in the basement that I had claimed as my lab. My mother had owned the building, and the deed was in my aunt's hands, but nobody questioned me all the same. It helped the building was three stories.

I decided to take some proper tools with me this time, including a basic tool kit of wrenches and screw drivers, along with a few blue prints I'd printed out from Shion's connection gear. Even though I had a bed room on the first floor, I had an old couch in the large basement for when I didn't want to leave my work very long.

I looked at my line of batteries on the shelf, idly noticing the one from the only female droid was distinctly smaller. The one to the 'male' droids were about twelve inches tall and six wide, but the one that had belonged to the 'female' one was clearly smaller. I estimated it to be about ten inches tall and four wide.

I decided to mess with it later. I quickly changed into more comfortable jeans and T-shirt. I was thinking of my plans for the droids and KOS-MOS during dinner and our way back to the Elsa. Luckily, we didn't have any more weather delays.

Rukiro had brought extra flashlights, so I didn't have any trouble dismantling the droids after dusk had fallen. I was up until one AM working on them, when I decided I should get some sleep, and took a two hour nap in the woman's cabin.

In the morning, we started carrying the bags of droid metal back to my apartment and by noon we had the metal from the twenty droids sold. With the money, I was able to get one solar panel. After so much haggling with the guy at the pawn shop for a good price and warranty, Rukiro and I had lunch before I closed myself up in my basement for the rest of the day before I wired the batteries to the solar panel for charging. I was glad I kept all the wires and other technical stuff from the droids…my only problem was I wouldn't know when the batteries were charged.

I decided upon hooking up two batteries to the solar panel at a time, and developed a makeshift connection from the batteries to my computer. I wasn't sure how good for my old laptop it was to have batteries from technology that surpassed the computer thousands of times over, but it got the job done.

I was sitting on the roof of the three story apartment, mounting the solar panel around five PM when I heard Rukiro calling me from the front door below.

"I'm up here!" I yelled, swiping my sleeve over my forehead so my sweat didn't drip into my eyes.

"What the hell…" I heard him mutter before yelling back, "How long have you been up there? Do you have a latter?"

"I used the attic window to climb up." I replied. I heard him sigh and I smiled, adding,

"One moment, I think I've finally got this bugger working."

I hooked the final wire up to the entry point on the side of the panel calling out, "The back door is open. Go down into my basement and see if the screen of my computer says 'charging batter one and two', okay?"

"Got it." He said as I heard the backdoor slam closed.

"And don't let any more doors slam!" I added, even though I doubted he heard me. After a few minutes that seemed like a few hours, before he came back out and confirmed they were charging. I walked across the roof down over to the attic window, looking down, thinking it looked easier climbing out then going back in.

"Uhh…hey, Kukai! Could you go up in the attic and make sure the window is as far us as it goes?" I asked, bluffing even though I knew it wasn't going to go any higher.

"No problem." He called back, letting the back door slam again.

After a few minutes, I heard his footsteps from the attic.

"It's as far up as it'll go." He said, "Are you coming down?"

"Yeah." I replied, taking a deep breath and lowering myself down. I had my stomach pressed up against the tan vinyl siding on the gable of the house, looking down at the three feet that separated me from the windowsill.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I said defensively. I let go of the side of the roof, feeling my feet land on the sill below. My knees buckled from the landing, and I leaned dangerously over the edge before Rukiro grabbed my left arm, and pulled me in quickly.

I landed with a dull _thud_ on top of him, and sat up saying, "Uh, thanks."

"I wouldn't have pegged you to be afraid of heights." He said with a smirk.

"Shaddup." I said and stood. "C'mon, let's go check the status on those batteries in my basement."

He followed, asking a few questions about how I wired it as we headed down. After showing him the batteries charging and explaining how I'd done it in depth, he suggested we get dinner at a fast food place after I rambled on about technical stats I knew meant nothing to him for a few minutes. I agreed, and closed my laptop and turned off the light.

When we entered the living room of the apartment, one of the tenets was sprawled out on the couch with her hand in a bag of chips, channel surfing. I didn't much like Takyuki, mainly because she always coming back late completely drunk and usually with equally drunk men ten years older than her, but I didn't voice my thoughts in order to keep the peace. It was easier said than done when four teenage girls lived in one house. Well, two were in their twenties but it didn't make much of a difference.

"Going out on a date again?" Takyuki asked with a smirk. "You two do make a cute couple."

"Don't be ridiculous." I said, hoping I didn't sound defensive again or was blushing.

"I-it's nothing like that." Rukiro added, sounding completely defensive.

Takyuki smirked, her brown eyes hazy from being drunk. Her brown hair was a mess, and she looked like she hadn't changed her clothes or showered all day.

"Why in such a hurry to deny things? You've been engaged since you moved in here seven years go, and he is the only person you let into that mad scientist lab down there."

"C'mon, Kukai." I said grabbing his wrist and pulling him along.

"Don't tell me you're not on a first name basis!" She called as I slammed the door, ignoring my own rule.

The evening was uneventful and thought dinner we mainly talked about KOS-MOS and powering up the elevator on the Elsa.

The week was frustratingly uneventful, because it took two days to charge two batteries and they lost a charge very quickly, so I had to make an adaptor for them to maintain charge just by plugging them into the wall.

I started messing with the solar panel, and was able to speed up the charging process a little so instead of a month for charging the hundred-year-old batteries it only took two weeks. Luckily, it was summer vacation so there wasn't any school.

On a Tuesday morning we sent out with the twenty fully charged batteries to the Elsa. I wanted to try entering through the docking bay, but decided against it because the time it took to get in that way might fry the batteries. The main circuit board for the ship was on the lower level, but I was able to hotwire the elevator to the batteries so we were able to get down to the lower level.

We proceeded down the halls, carrying KOS-MOS the whole time, when we rounded the corner and I saw the E.S bay.

"Wow!" I said aloud, at the sheer size of the room. "Imagine if E.S.s still existed…"

"Vessels of Anima would be really nice right now." Rukiro added, "Their power is limitless, right?"

"Right." I replied. "Since the Zohar still exists, there's a possibility Zarathustra still exists. I just hope trying to revive the U.M.N. and help humanity get back to its previous glory doesn't mean reawakening of Zarathustra."

"Do you think Zarathustra still exists?"

"Maybe." I said darkly, "If KOS-MOS, Yeshua, Mary, and the Zohar do then Zarathustra could be one of those things that simply 'are meant to exist'. If it did…it wouldn't be found again unless the U.M.N. was revived… Oh, and to answer your question obviously U-DO still exists if the Zohar does."

"Anyway, that's KOS-MOS' old maintenance bay, right?" Rukiro asked pointed at the door on the left.

"Yeah." I said, noticing it wasn't completely closed. "Hey, look! We should be able to get in really easily this way."

We placed KOS-MOS down gently and pulled the doors further open, and I got my first look at the room that _should_ have everything we needed to reactivate KOS-MOS. It wasn't a very good look, because I only saw what was illuminated by our two flashlights, but just seeing KOS-MOS' maintenance bed made me smile.

"Hey, look at that." I said, seeing one little light from a button on a computer console.

Rukiro blinked a few times, confirming what he saw before saying, "Impossible. This ship couldn't still have power."

I ran over to the console saying, "Who knows?" I knew I was being overly hopeful, but as I pushed the button the entire room came alive. The lights turned on, the computers booted up, even the overhead lights in the E.S. bay activated.

"Holy shit!" Rukiro exclaimed.

"Wow…" I muttered, looking around completely astounded, half expecting it to be my imagination and seeing the E.S. units in the room behind me.

I looked at the computer in front of me, attentively reached out to touch the holographic keyboard. I clicked the Windows button, and the start menu opened.

"Kukai! Check it out, the keyboards and screens are just like the ones on the connection gears. See what the console over there on the left has on KOS-MOS."

He sat down at the chair, not entirely sure what to make of the holographic keyboard. I'd at least gotten a little used to them thanks to my connection gear, but Rukiro didn't have his own, and I didn't let him touch mine often.

"But, this is impossible." He said, shaking his head. "How could this ship still have power stocks?"

"And environmental bugs." I added.

"Yeah, those things. Wait, do you think this is Ormus' doing? It's not like the location of the Elsa is top secret information."

"It isn't information given out to the city, though. We found it because of Shion's connection gear. We need as much information as we can on what happened after the Elsa's database stopped getting updated. Just look at the date on these computers, they didn't even register over a hundred years passing."

"Please don't suggest contacting Kura." Rukiro said grimly. "Even if she does have MOMO Mizrahi's connection gear, I can't stand my cousin."

"She's not trustworthy, either." I added. "We can probably get some information from the databases on these computers, though. Go see if the rest of the ship was activated, okay Kukai? Also, see what's going on in the bridge."

"You don't think this thing can fly, do you?"

"Maybe." I shrugged. "I don't want to mess with it, really. Also go outside the ship and make sure there isn't any exhaust burning the forest down."

"Yikes, I didn't think of that."

"I'll be looking for KOS-MOS blueprints."

He left, and it took about five minutes of searching before I found the blueprint for the original Archetype KOS-MOS and KOS-MOS Version Four. I read everything I could about how she worked, even though my head was spinning when Rukiro came back fifteen minutes later.

"This makes absolutely no sense." I said, blinking dumbly.

"The technology that makes up KOS-MOS was the best humanity could offer at its peak of existence; don't be surprised if it doesn't make any sense. Didn't Shion have years of college? Oh, and we're not burning the forest down."

"Good. And yeah, she did. I just didn't expect it to be so…confusing."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Yeah. Find every fragment of information on KOS-MOS on that other computer console and I'll go over it. Also, figure out how to turn off the lights for when we leave when you're done."

"Got it."

The seemed to pass too quickly, then again for me it a whirl of technological information. I hardly understood what allowed KOS-MOS' arms to transform, never mind the complex stuff about how she operated.

Rukiro mainly explored the areas of the Elsa we hadn't been able to look into very well, and did figure out how to shut down the lights and computers for when we left that night. In the evening, Rukiro had gone into the city to get dinner and we ate on the Elsa, me hardly looking up from the computer.

I hadn't been keeping track of time very well, and when Rukiro snuck up behind me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders from the back of the chair saying, "Boo!" I jumped.

"What the hell was that for?" I snapped. I hadn't heard him coming, and I was feeling like a zombie.

He didn't let go saying, "Hikari, by chance did you notice what time it was?" 

_He hasn't called me 'Hikari' in years._ I thought randomly, distracted by the nickname.

"It's midnight?" I demanded, jumping to my feet. "Dammit, and I hardly understand KOS-MOS' basic theory…you go power down all the lights on the ship so nobody notices anything odd, I'll copy some of this data to my connection gear so I can study it later…"

He stepped away asking, "Shouldn't you get some sleep when we get back?"

"I won't be able to sleep anyway; I might as well study more until I fall asleep."

Rukiro shook his head saying, "And I already shut the lights down."

After finishing the data transfer, I picked up my backpack and tossed my connection gear inside. I put the computers on standby, and leaded out with Rukiro.

I was glad he'd remembered to charge his flashlight batteries because mine had gone dead and it was pitch black out.

I landed smoothly after jumping the two foot drop between the door to the ship and the ground. Rukiro landed beside me but before and we were greeted with a less than pleasant surprise.

"Don't move." An Ormus soldier, wearing all white said with a machine gun pointed at us. He looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties, and he had three other soldiers behind him, their faces covered by hoods. The other two soldiers both held large flashlights.

"The only reason the Elsa is suddenly functional is because we replaced its logical drive with one of the ones Ormus salvaged. As the ship is a relic of the past, and Ormus has been appointed as protectors of the relics from T.C. by the Section Seventeen Government, we have the rite to act against trespassers and claim any property located on the relic in question. In this case, it would be the ship. And by property, you know who we are talking about."

"But KOS-MOS is not part of the Elsa, we found her more than ten miles away from this place and your jurisdiction does not go past the Elsa, now does it?" I challenged, trying to form some kind of plan on how to get the pistol out of my backpack. I wasn't alert enough to think of keeping it out upon leaving the ship.

"You still have trespassed on a relic owned by the state." The soldier in front said calmly, "And seeing as you both are of age to be trialed as adults, I suggest you watch what you say."

"But I'm only seventeen. You can check my ID card for proof. Just let me get it out of my backpack, and I'll show you."

"I'm not a fool." The soldier said dismissively, motioning for the soldier on his right to take my backpack.

"That's the wrong pocket." I said as he opened the main pocket. There were a grand total of fifteen pockets, three large ones, and the others small designed for holding notebooks and other school items.

"Let me do it." I said, bending down and quickly unzipping the outermost pocket that wasn't capable of holding much more than a wallet, and reached through the hole in the lining to the larger pocket before it. The main soldier didn't speak up, as his assistant was right there.

I removed the pistol with lightning fast agility, shooting the soldier kneeling down on the other side of the backpack in the heart. Before the head soldier was able to shoot me, I had my pistol pointed at him.

I smiled knowingly saying, "I'm afraid my pistol has quicker release than your machinegun. We're at a draw, now aren't we?"

"Or are we?" He asked, aiming his gun at Rukiro. I let my expression betray me, well aware that Rukiro was unarmed.

"Still so confident when it's not your life on the line, Miss Uzuki?" He noticed my surprise continuing, "Yes, I know of your lineage. While you are the granddaughter of one of the people to return to Lost Jerusalem, it will not get you very far in a court of law."

"Actually," I said stubbornly, "Over one-hundred years ago this ship was registered under ownership of the Kukai Foundation. As the first director of the Kukai Foundation died, all possessions of the Foundation were passed down to the surviving heir, Gaignun Kukai Jr., and it was thus arranged for the possessions of the Foundation to be passed down to the future heirs." I said using the same kind of superior tone he'd used with me, "Currently, the only Kukai that's of age to inherit the ship would be Rukiro Kukai."

"The Kukai Foundation has been long dead." The lead soldier said stubbornly.

"I beg to differ, there was never an official document saying the Kukai Foundation had been dissipated. Making the Elsa an heirloom rather than a relic. Either we rectify exactly what the Elsa is exactly, and what Ormus has done in the past, or we could forget about all this."

"Blood has already been spilled, I'm afraid this can't be forgotten.

I smiled sweetly saying, "We're both murders here, are we not? How many people have you killed, sir? While murdering a soldier is one thing, _assassinating_ an heir is another."

"That is enough." I heard a confident female voice ring out. A woman wearing an all white Ormus 'uniform' stepped into the light beside the lead soldier. She had brown hair and dark eyes, and even in the poor light I could tell she was fairly tall and slim.

"J-Juli Mizrahi?" I stammered.

She smiled saying, "My name is Midori Mizrahi. If you would be so kind as to come to our base not far from here, I'm sure we could make a compromise."


	3. Ormus' Offer And A Wire Filled Goodbye

"At least I was able to lock the Elsa before they took my connection gear…" I said, not feeling much solace.

The room was completely barren, the walls were white, the floor and ceiling were white, the sheets on the highly uncomfortable bed were white, as were the two piles of clothes we'd been given to change into. I hadn't touched them; inwardly guessing they were probably filled with some kind of powder-form poison.

Rukiro stood up and stretched, but before he replied the door to the room slid open, and the women who entered appeared to me Midori Mizrahi.

I glared at her asking, "What do you want? Or did you realize the loophole I found was legitimate?"

"Oh, that. The loophole is legitimate; we were able to find the document signed by Gaignun Kukai and Representative Helmer."

"So what did you come to say? You don't seem too concerned about legal matters."

She smiled with false sweetness saying, "Ormus would like to make a deal with you, Hikaru Uzuki. We believe with the correct equipment and training, you may be able to reawaken The Bringer of Order."

"You mean KOS-MOS?" I asked.

"Yes." She replied, "Did you not know that is what she was been dubbed? Then again, being raised in that world would explain a lot."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked distrustfully.

"There is more technology preserved from the T.C. period than the governments let you know. They want to restart humanity, and the way they're doing it is fine in most lights, but they did not take something into consideration: the enemies of the past may came to haunt us."

I paused a moment before asking, "Zarathustra?"

"Possibly. Zarathustra may be an eternal force like U-DO, the Zohar, chaos, Mary, and even KOS-MOS. With KOS-MOS, we can learn if she truly is Mary, and the extent of the 'eternal' power she possesses."

"And what do you think is an eternal being that endangers this world?"

"Wilhelm." She answered flatly. "He wanted to restart time in this world for all the corruption and confusion humanity created to be erased. He planned to live on through the eternities always making sure that time would be restarted when humanity learned too much, and started trying to manipulate divine power."

"I smell a 'however' coming." Rukiro said dryly.

"Very perceptive of you." She said calmly. "For this, in a way, is similar to what Wilhelm wanted, his tactic only had one advantage: the years humanity didn't know about U-DO and the Zohar. With humanity knowing about those two things, and their power, with using the technology of old in futile attempts to control to two, existence on earth could come to an abrupt halt in an experiment with the Zohar. Need I list planets that disappeared due to the actions of the U-TIC Organization…?"

"No." I replied calmly. "So, in a retrospect, you want me to try awakening KOS-MOS-"

"The Bringer of Order." She cut in.

"Yeah, The Bringer of Order, to attempt saving the world? But, why should I trust you? Ormus' goal was to return here, to Earth, but the lives and planets they sacrificed made their goal foolhardy." I said firmly.

"We are no longer…" She said after a long pause, "Under the command and control of Wilhelm. Is knowing Ormus was reborn enough for you to help us? We can provide everything you need for her."

In truth, I was _very_ interested and even though I knew it was dangerous, I wanted to do it. Even though, I figured I should at least have _some_ sense of responsibility…

"What's the name of your current leader?"

She smiled saying, "A name you should trust. Arku Uzuki."

I felt numb when she said that. My mind stop Rukiro was clearly surprised too.

I swallowed saying, "Let me see him. I'm not agreeing to anything until I do."

"I suppose it could be arranged." She said, after a moment of silence. "Since you and the Bringer of Order are Ormus' top priority, he should agree to it. I'll be back soon."

The door slid closed as she left and I flopped down on the bed groaning, "How could he be alive?"

"Your father…" Rukiro paused, "Shot your mother then himself, right?" 

"Yeah." I replied quietly.

Neither of us said anything, and after a few minutes Midori came back and lead us out of the room down a series of plain, white, halls. I got the feeling we were underground, because after passing through one door the walls were made of ornate wooden trim and the floors were carpeted with thick, dark blue carpet.

After a few security checks, we reached a large double door. Double doors didn't have the same effect when they were automatic sliders…

Midori slid her card into the console on the left of the door, and then pressed a button saying quietly, "Hikaru is here."

The doors slid open, and as I walked in, the doors slid closed quickly stopping Rukiro from entering.

Before I could object, a deep and familiar voice said, "I am glad you are here, Hikaru."

I turned around quickly to see my father sitting at a desk in the center of the room. Behind him, the outer wall was solid glass overlooking the forest. He didn't look very different from the way he looked ten years ago, only older and his black hair was graying.

"Yeah right." I said coldly. "What the hell are you doing here? And why did you…"

"Kill your mother? It was necessary. If you grew up with the security of a mother's love, you would not be here today. You would not have wanted more out of your life and searched for the Bringer of Order."

I felt like the floor had dropped out from under me. Even though I felt hallow and resistant to believe. In a way, I think I knew he'd kill his own wife for a cause he believed could save a world.

"That's the reason you killed my mother?" I spat, "Your wife? Just because you hoped I'd look for KOS-MOS if I grew up miserable?"

"If you were not here now, the Bringer of Order would not come to rest here on Lost Jerusalem."

"Give me a break; I couldn't have had any effect on where the corpse of android landed."

"Don't you think the remains of a frame that old would disintegrate in coming into the atmosphere, unless she arrived here by an unnatural cause?"

I was silent, for I had briefly thought of that. I'd dismissed as unimportant, because I was trying to focus on all the information the Elsa possessed on KOS-MOS.

"All right, fine. Maybe there is something strange going on. But what proof do you have of it? And do you seriously think that's enough to make me want to help you?

"No." He said simply, "I do not. I ask you to help, for the Bringer of Order. You want to learn more about her, correct?"

I was silent a moment before he continued, "If you do chose to help, I will inform you aunt you were accepted to a college the west. You would stay here and everything you needed would be supplied. You could work on KOS-MOS at your leisure while studying her frame and deciding how to rebuild her."

"What about Rukiro?" I asked stubbornly, "I'm not cooperating with you unless Rukiro can stay too."

"He can come occasionally, and it has to be by Ormus provided transportation. If he came too often it would cause problems with Ormus' secrecy." He said calmly. "Will you comply?"

"…Fine. I'll help you."

"College?" My aunt demanded, "Why would you have to move so soon? It's only the middle of June! If I've never heard of it, the place can't be _that_ popular."

"Auntie," I said, all too aware of all the people that were looking. "If I don't move into that apartment now, I won't be able to go to the college."

"You never planned on going any college aside from the local one." She objected, lowering her tone. We were at an informal restaurant, waiting for our dinners. We were at a table in the center of the place, making her outburst more than noticeable.

"Look, can I withdraw from my inheritance or not?"

"Not until you tell me _why_ you want to go to the west coast. What's there that isn't here? Is Rukiro going there, or something?"

"No." I said, hoping I didn't sound defensive. "You know I like to work with computers and machines. I've taken apart an uncountable amount of household appliances. I want to learn about professional machinery and computers."

"The only real goal of those people is to rebuild the U.M.N." My aunt said stubbornly, her green eyes burning with spite. "Humanity is just fine on here on Earth."

_She's so old-fashion…_ I thought, getting irritated. "There are a lot of colleges that specialize in machinery, but that one is simply the most effective."

"Couldn't you find a college of the same caliber closer?"

"I've already passed the entrance exam."

"Hikaru, you're only seventeen. You're not even an adult yet. Going all the way on the other side of the country for schooling…it just doesn't sound right to me."

"I'll be fine." I said calmly, "You know I can handle myself."

She pursed her lips saying, "When you say 'handle' yourself, are you referring to fighting? You're too violent for you own good."

"Maybe, but that's not the point. This is what I want. If my mother would respect this wish, than shouldn't you?"

She sighed exasperatedly saying, "Don't go picking any fights. Around here you've got a fair bit of security because of your name alone, but there nobody would know you're the heir of Shion Uzuki. They wouldn't believe you, either."

"I know."

"You still want to go?" She asked unhappily.

I nodded in response, and she sighed in defeat.

"How much do you need?"

Moving out of my basement and into the lab I'd been given at the Ormus headquarters was slow business. Rukiro was helping, but all the parts from dissected refrigerators, microwaves, can openers, air conditioners, car engines, toaster ovens, and other household appliances were scattered about my room. What, you never know when you might need a heavy wire that's build to get cold…or a spark plug from a droid, or any other random and weird things.

"Are you seriously going to use _this_?" Rukiro asked doubtfully, holding up a rusted car muffler. "You can't even drive."

"Well…"

"Any materials for anything you might need are going to be supplied by Ormus. I don't think you'll need a rusty car muffler."

"Yeah…" I trailed off, "But I might need it to absorb some kind of shock, or something."

"Too abstract. You lose." He said, tossing it in the large trashcan that had filled up with other "junk parts" that had been condemned to obliteration.

"What about this?" He asked holding up some bent metal wire. "It looks like a twisty-tie on steroids."

"Save it."

"Why?" He groaned.

"With that, a pen, and some adhesive you could make a key to get into a car, or something."

"I just said you couldn't drive. And is everything 'or something' down here?"

"Well, a lot of the wires I saved came in handy with that solar panel."

He shook his head saying, "You're hopeless, Hikaru."

"And what happens if I start going through your collection of baseball cards and asking you why you save copies of highly common ones?"

"That's different." He said defensively.

"Hardly." I shot back. "Besides, these wires are also good for shoving up the asses of people I don't like."

He burst out laughing then said, "I'd better keep away if you're dealing with metal wire in a bad mood, huh?"

"It's recommended." I said with false sweetness. He shook his head and tossed the wire in an empty cardboard box on the table we were working on emptying.

Rukiro was sliding my beaten, ratty, and earlier-in-life cream-colored sofa off the wall, looking disturbed.

_I don't recall losing anything that could produce a foul small behind there…_

"What the hell…?" He muttered.

I jogged over and looked behind it saying, "Oh, those."

"There's over thirty empty water bottles back here." He said pointing as they rolled under the sofa. A few of them made the mighty pilgrimage to reaching the other side of the large basement. "And over eight brands." He added, picking up a Dasani that was past it's expiration date.

"Be sure to recycle them." I said dismissively and returned to going through a stack of crap on the table we'd been unearthing. "The caps go in the trash, tear off the labels and toss them in the trash, too."

"You expect me to peel the _plastic_ wrappers off some of the bottles?" He demanded.

"Most of them are paper. Don't complain! Doing it helps the environment." I said, tossing another bent mental wire in the box Rukiro had scribbled a stick person with a wire chasing another stick person.

I smirked and picked up the wire and brandished it at him saying, "Or face the wrath of my wires!"

"Don't shoot!" He said playfully jumping behind the sofa. I ran forward, jumping on the sofa and picked up a pillow and swatted at him with it. He quickly got to his feet, and wet to side-step my attack but stepped on a water bottle, lost his balance and fell backwards. He crashed into a table, and the box of metal wires came raining down on him.

"Ah, shit! How'd a full bottle of water end up under there?"

I jumped off the back of the sofa, crushing some empty bottles and picked up the full bottle saying, "Factory seal and all. It expired a few months ago. Thirsty?"

"No thank you." He said and stood up, surveying the wires that had fallen.

"Are ya sure?" I asked, tossing the bottle toward him.

He caught it easily and put it down next to the box of wires on the table. The box was on its side and he pushed it back into position and we picked up the wires, with only a few wire-to-wire duels. Not that it got very far since the bent so easily…

That afternoon, we both flopped on my couched tiredly.

"I didn't know those tables were blue metal." He said dryly.

"Shaddup."

"So, how many boxes of crap did we end up keeping?"

"Rubber maids of crap." I corrected.

"Whatever. How many?"

"Only fifteen. And it's _good_ crap."

"Uh-huh, I'll be the judge of that."

"So…" I paused, "What did your parents think of the lie about college?"

"Shot it down in mid-flight." He said solemnly.

"I thought so."

"Have you told you aunt?"

"Yeah, she put up a fight but in the end I won." I replied. "It's already June twenty-second…I probably won't be allowed to visit town unless it's a holiday. School starts in the end of August for you, right?"

"Yeah."

"You'll come by on the weekends, right?"

"Of course."

_This is awkward._ I thought after another moment of silence.

"I've got an idea! How we meet at the Elsa every Saturday?" Rukiro suggested.

"Ormus forbid me going to the Elsa." I sighed. "Unless I can slip away on a holiday."

"But you can do what you want in town until school starts, right?"

"Not exactly." I said, "I get one day a week to go out, and I have to be escorted. Evidently, if it gets around I'm helping Ormus I may find myself dubbed an outlaw by local police and the government."

He nodded asking, "Any other ways to work around the system during the school year?"

"Not that I can think of. Hopefully after I get used to the schedule there, I'll be ale find some loopholes and can get out on the weekends."

"Mmm."

"Hey! Uzuki! Kukai! Hurry it up! What are you two doing down there?" Amaila, the oldest of the girls that resided in the house called. She took charge when I wasn't around. I picked up my laptop case, the only remaining item in the basement.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, stomping up the stairs with Rukiro following attentively anticipating an argument.

"Don't have any wire, do you?" He asked quietly.

"I may need some." I opened the door asking, "Wanna repeat that?"

She had blond hair and blue eyes, and she stepped back backpedaling as she asked, "What? You two_ are_ engaged and saying goodbye."

I scowled at her, my reserves about being rude to the tenants gone (why should I have any now that I'm moving out?), saying, "Be glad I'm not strict about you and Takyuki having _guests_ at night."

She looked disturbed and insulted as smirked adding, "Keep it up and I'll take my microwave back."

"But you said we call could use it!"

"And I'm moving out, so I have every right to take it with me." I said dismissively, strutting over to the door. Rukiro followed, not wanting to stick around to feel the wrath of an angry twenty-two year old woman versus me. I slung my backpack over my should, it now contained random things like my digital camera, cell phone, other electronics I used for their real purpose instead of dissecting them.

"No wire?" He asked as I closed the door.

I smiled slightly saying, "No wire."

"Damn. The wires are all packed up, too…"

The driver of the white Toyota pickup truck hadn't complained about us taking our sweet time, but he looked relieved I was ready. He walked over and opened up the door of the extended cab. I waved him off and turned around to face Rukiro, the awkward feeling returning. It was only intensified when the driver started up the engine.

"Oh yeah!" I said, opening my backpack. "Last time we were on the Elsa I found a connection gear. With a little tweaking I was able to get it working…"

After rooting around for another few minutes in a pocket full of Walkman, headphones, and CD boxes, I pulled out the connection gear.

"I've already got mine, so I figured I'd give it to you."

He smiled and took it saying, "Thanks."

I reshipped my backpack, and tossed it in the backseat of the truck without much concern for all the electronics inside, but before I was fully turned around Rukiro stepped forward, kissing me lightly on the cheek saying, "See you soon."

"Y-yeah. See you s-soon." I said, caught off-guard. After I closed the door and Rukiro stepped back the driver started driving me away. I glanced back, seeing Rukiro waving. I waved back, even though I still felt…wait, just how _do_ I feel?

"A friend of yours?" The driver asked.

"Yeah…" I replied. "You could say that…"


	4. Looking Back Upon Days Past

Rukiro Kukai: Yo.

Hikaru Uzuki: I'm supposed to be concentrating on KOS-MOS right now.

Rukiro Kukai: Whoop-dee-doo. Are you going to be able to leave for the fireworks?

Hikaru Uzuki: Yeah, but the Green Leech is tagging along. Airi is going to try distracting her with cheap jewelry, though.

Rukiro Kukai: …She's that stupid?

Hikaru Uzuki: Hopefully.

Rukiro Kukai: Gunna bring wire just in case:D

Hikaru Uzuki: Keep it up and you're going to meet a wire.

Rukiro Kukai: I'm shaking in my boots.

Hikaru Uzuki: You should be.

Rukiro Kukai: I'll leave you to your work a while; we'll work out the details of your escape tonight, alright?

Hikaru Uzuki: Right! I need to clean off this screen though, there's a booger-shaped item over half our conversation.

Rukiro Kukai: Lovely! But it in a Ziploc and send it to the Green Leech. Later, Hikaru!

Hikaru Uzuki: Sayonara!

He signed off with that, and Airi was smiling across the room. I gave her a questioning look, and she smiled evilly.

"I could tell by your typing patterns you were talking to your boyfriend. I can't wait to be lost in the crowd with melting snow cones in my hands distracting the Green Leech!"

I was going to ignore her, but she wasn't going to stop there. "So, how far along are you with him?"

My scowl deepened and my focus on the information I was reading in nanomachines was non-existent. I started reading the same paragraph for the seventh time as she asked, "Ever spend evenings together in that basement you've told me horror stories about just-"

"Airi!" I snapped.

She giggled and turned back to her computer.

"You seem to enjoy match making, so have you gathered any information on Mary?"

"You bet I did!" She replied cheerfully, "Mary Magdalene, the human incarnated with the power of Animus. Animus completes the power of Anima, which a human named Yeshua possessed. Now it gets confusing, and I mean _really_ confusing."

"I know about the power of Anima and how it was divided into twelve vessels."

"I know you do, but there's a lot more to it than that. Firstly, you should know Mary Magdalene loved Yeshua, but due to the functions of the power of Anima they couldn't be together. It's a very sad story." Airi sighed, "So romantic, too…"

"We were talking about Anima."

"Right. Anima is a power derived from the collective unconscious of humanity and has been present since the beginning of the universe here in our dimension. Long ago, at the beginning of the universe, certain wills of humanity resonated purely with Anima. These wills began a chain reaction throughout the collective consciousness, resulting in the dispersal of consciousnesses. This phenomenon would lead the universe towards destruction. The dispersing wills that reject the collective conscious formed Gnosis. Gnosis are best thought of as 'hostile aliens'."

"Don't make it sound like a bad sci-fi movie. _Everybody_ knows what Gnosis are."

"Eventually the increasing dispersal of the collective consciousness would lead the universe to collapse. To counter this, Anima also had a failsafe function. This was created so if the universe ever spiraled into such disarray that the power of Anima would destroy it. Now, if this power was unleashed by a certain person out of hate of the world, it wouldn't be pretty. The failsafe process involves the person with the power of Anima, in this case Yeshua, gathering the dispersed collective consciousness inside himself and destroying the wills that rejected the consciousness. Another words, the Gnosis. But this would make Yeshua die."

"Wait a second, you're talking in circles. The collective consciousness is the U.M.N., right?"

"Sorta." Airi replied, "It's where consciousnesses circulate until they get a body. One of it's many function was hyperspace travel, so, yeah, the U.M.N. The facts are a little fuzzy, so much was lost before we got back to Earth… Anyway, there's also Lemegeton, U-DO, and the Zohar to explain before I get back into Animus. Yeshua created Lemegeton without realizing it, and it's a wavelength energy. U-DO is the power of a god that seeps into this world and controls things. It also can make people lose their minds, as it isn't meant for humans to deal with."

"Lemegeton and only be understood and spoken by those with the power on Anima." I recited, "And when done properly, they can control the Zohar. Through the Zohar, the power of U-Do can be accessed. Humans can't speak the 'words' that are Lemegeton. Some people were able to make programs from Lemegeton to control the Zohar. And thus, opening the door to experience the power of a god."

"And items that use the Zohar's energy like Zarathustra. The Song of Nephilim, that humans can't hear but made Realians and other synthetic humans go nuts, is an incomplete translation of Lemegeton. People of the Zohar, whose wills resonate strongly with Anima due to their special bloodline, are capable of controlling the Zohar. The strongest among them can communicate with U-DO, but it will kill them after time. In this way, the power of Anima also seems as a proxy between humans and beings like U-DO."

"But those who resonate purely with Anima that can control it will lead to the dispersal of their consciousness."

"Yeah. Now for the romantic stuff!" She said, clapping her hands together. "To save spare Yeshua of his dismal future and impending death-"

"And the destruction of the universe." I cut in.

"That too, but that isn't as romantic. Mary used her power of Animus to seal away the power of Anima into twelve vessels. Ever so originally called the Vessels of Anima. Mary did this my separating Yeshua's soul in two, into the Anima power and the Will of Anima. The Will of Anima is the failsafe. Then the power of Anima went into the vessels. While separating from his Anima power, his failsafe couldn't ignite. Isn't that so sweet?"

"But as long as Anima existed the consciousnesses of the universe would continue to disperse until the universe would slowly collapse."

"Yeshua continued to live, and a person who knew about all this who also was immortal named Wilhelm chose 'Eternal Recurrence' to avoid this. And he wanted to use Zarathustra to restart time. This would prevent the collapse through dispersal and the destruction of wills by the failsafe. This would mean living the same lives over and over again without anything ever changing."

"And KOS-MOS inherited the power of Animus to make Zarathustra 'speak'. But as KOS-MOS was not the true reincarnation of Mary Magdalene, she defied Wilhelm and would not start Zarathustra."

"Right. With the power of Animus and Anima, the collective consciousness is sent to Lost Jerusalem and here we are."

"There is only one question."

"What?" Airi asked, sounding like she knew what it was going to be.

"How the hell Yeshua got to Zarathustra with KOS-MOS. According to Shion's information, there wasn't anybody traveling with them that had that name. There was the one guy that didn't say much, but there isn't any real reason that indicates him as the incarnation of Anima…" I looked over to Airi, who was staring at me, her eyes wide.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"You don't _know?_"

I scowled asking, "Know what?"

"Chaos is the incarnation of Anima! He started going by the name 'chaos', never capitalized, years before even meeting KOS-MOS and Shion!"

"No way, you mean the silver-haired guy is _Yeshua_?" I demanded.

Airi nodded saying, "Wilhelm was going to use KOS-MOS' ability to control Anima though her emotional bond with chaos to start Zarathustra."

I leaned back in my seat saying, "But KOS-MOS isn't Mary."

Airi shrugged saying, "I suppose one of the things she inherited from Mary was her feelings for Yeshua."

"So…my theory that KOS-MOS' soul and Mary's soul are separate entities might not make any difference in trying to reboot KOS-MOS." I said darkly.

"What do you mean?" Airi asked.

"I mean if KOS-MOS' soul still exists she probably won't want to come forth, knowing that Yeshua's soul and Mary's soul probably have been reincarnated and are together."

Airi look a little disturbed at this too and sighed saying, "I don't know how to find happy ending then! Who's intentions are purer, Mary's for sacrificing herself to save him or KOS-MOS' for stopping the cycle."

"Do you think of anything but romance?" I asked, not surprised _that_ was the aspect of the mysteries that was bothering her.

"Sometimes. But this is serious, it'd effect KOS-MOS' awakening and, as a match maker, I need to come up with a plan on how to handle the most influential relationship I may ever have a hand in making or breaking!"

"We need to find out if who has been reincarnated. I wonder…if I have the same ability as Shion. She was the 'Maiden of Mary' and could communicate with U-DO."

"But it was killing her!" Airi objected, "And whenever she was exposed to KOS-MOS summoning the power of U-DO it was shortening her life!" She paused a moment, staring at me saying, "But if you're aware of the risk than why are you doing this?"

I closed my eyes saying, "Yeah. Rukiro didn't want me to do this because of that possibility. Neither of us predicted how far this would go. The idea was something I'd come to accept, it go to the point it didn't even bother me very much. I never thought I would be hoping to communicate with U-DO though."

"Once you form a connection…there's no breaking it." Airi said darkly, "Please, don't try communicating with U-DO…"

My distant look worried Airi just as much as it had Rukiro; she didn't let the topic drop at that, either. Not that I was expecting her to do so.

"Hikaru! I'm still talking, snap out of it!"

I turned to face her, noticing she was now kneeling on her chair, one hand point at me the other clinging to the chair for the balance her knees alone didn't provide.

"I've felt it was my duty to tie up the remaining lose ends since my mother was killed. I realized how fragile human life was then, and the simple existence of the Zohar still remaining could mean other things. Evidently I'm not just jumping to conclusions if Ormus reformed itself to pursue those possibilities. I suppose in a twisted way my father's plans are all working out…" I added quietly.

"Please don't try to communicate with U-DO." Airi said, her tone begging, "Doctors couldn't keep people alive who did even at the height of humanity…"

"Don't worry, I don't plan on throwing my life away. I intend to pursue my objective until the very end though."

Airi sighed and returned to a normal sitting position saying, "I expect that's the best I'll get out of you."

That night, my mind was spiraling around potential ways to connect myself to U-DO. I was still apprehensive, and the new development chaos was Yeshua was starting to bother me. It added up, sure, but now I was curious…how could somebody possible watch the impending reincarnation of a person they loved walk a path to destruction, and then learn their only chance of seeing that person failed?

_He must of loved her if he didn't want to risk her to have to use Animus._

"KOS-MOS…" I said aloud, "No matter how hard I call, you won't come back to this world for me, will you?"

_Gnosis were surrounding the Elsa. Nearly all the passengers and crew had assembled in the cockpit. Only one was missing. When the usage of one of the elevators leading to the outside of the ship gave away the identity of the missing person, and her plans._

_KOS-MOS heard the voice of her creator, Shion, ringing out over the announcement _

_system as the elevator brought into her the danger zone. She closed her eyes and stayed silent for a long moment._

"_Shion…will feeling pain…make me complete?"_

_She opened her eyes and the glowed a pale blue instead of the usual red. She was already in the vacuum of space, and her voice never reached Shion._

_The rest was a whirls of scenes only lasting seconds. There was no order to be found in them._

"_KOS-MOS is going to kill me?"_

"_Why don't you help them?"_

"_Once the connection with U-DO is established, there's no breaking it."_

"_Ever since I existed…my power of Anima has caused the universe to tread the path toward destruction."_

"_Why did you pick a female frame, Kevin?"_

"_To prevent the destruction of the universe…and to save me…Mary separated the power of Anima into the vessels and sealed them."_

"_With your power, there shouldn't be any more sacrifices!"_

"_Costing her life."_

"_I am a weapon."_

_The rhapsody cleared and I saw the form of one person standing in what looked like endless darkness. He had the same voice of the person who's voice continued to echo though the visions._

"_I suppose…she really isn't Mary."_

_Who are you? I thought, having no physical form in the abyss to actually say anything. _

_He wasn't facing me, even though I could hear the smile in his voice as he said, "So you're the one calling us back. Take care of her until I can."_

_You can hear me? Where are we and what's going--_

_The dispersal phenomenon of consciousnesses that resonate with Anima would have eventually triggered chaos' failsafe. It would cause the destruction of wills that reject the world, and collective conscious and would forcefully reset the universe. This process would start Zarathustra._

I sat bolt upright in bed, breathing hard and having broken out in a cold sweat. The pain in my head was agonizing, and it felt as though it were going to split. The pain slowly weakened until it was wasn't more than a mere ache. I blinked for a moment, unsurprised to see I was back in my room at the Ormus building.

I swallowed hard, saying, "Feeling pain…? She really…can't be Mary then…"


	5. Where Are We Now?

Early update for TK-MR! Tell me what you think of my characters and ideas, 'kay:) Your little picture on your page is sooooo cool! XD

That morning Airi, Midori, and me went back to my home town. The trip took four hours, as it was one PM after breakfast when Airi firmly decided to take me shopping. The plan was to meet Rukiro at the festival ground that evening at dusk when the shops would be set up. Since we'd left early I'd been anticipating tracking him earlier than that, but Airi had other plans.

We ended up at a large clothing store, Midori getting distracted in one of the other sections. Airi had three Ormus-supplied credit cards with her. I shuddered to think of their credit limits. I was following her around the racks of clothes and reluctantly telling her my sizes she started piling clothes in my arms only taking time to glance at the sizes and determined I'd 'look cute' in them. She pushed me off to the dressing room with more than five pairs of pants and ten shirts.

This went on about eight times before Airi and I approved on an outfit. A sleeveless red shirt, dark blue jeans, and a white jacket. The white jacket had gold swirls around the color, sleeves, and a thin snaking like up the sides of the sleeves. It also had gold trim on the edges and gold buttons. The boots she managed to talk me into were tight to my foot and ankle, but comfortable, and were the color that boots should never be made in: white. The zipper on the side was gold-colored and was the sides of the sole and she insisted as they matched the jacket.

In the end, between my stubbornness and her determination for something at least a little feminine it took two hours before we got out of the store. I didn't see the bill for the clothes, even though since she had me change into them in the dressing room after buying them I only was able to glance at the final bill. It was four hundred and something.

"Okay!" Airi said, punching her arm in the air for emphasis, "Now to get your hair done! I suppose you won't go for nails?"

"Hells no!"

Midori just followed, bags from the clothes store of her own on hand.

"At least have the do the procedure to make your nails nice n' shiny."

"Doesn't it have a proper name?"

"Yeah, but I don't get my nails done as much as I'd like so I don't remember…" Airi said, more than a little spacey. "But I'll take that as a yes!"

It was nearly five PM when Airi was done with me. I'd submitted to having my nails cleaned, even though I firmly shot her down when she started talking toenails and colors on either. I only got my hair trimmed, even though I protested the entire time.

"This is probably my best make-over job yet." She said, surveying me approvingly. "Are you sure you don't wanna get some make-up to cover that scar on your hand?"

"I'm perfectly happy with my scar." I said, familiar with pale line that stretched from my wrist down to the tip of my middle finger. The finger nail that have been severed had grown back long ago.

"Fine…" Airi sighed. "We have another hour to kill before we're supposed to meet Rukiro… I've never seen him, now that I think of it. Is he cute?"

"_When Mary fulfills her duty, Zarathustra shall speak!"_

I winced and stopped a moment, my hand on my forehead.

Airi stopped too, and turned around asking, "Are you alright, Hikaru?"

"Y-yeah…" I replied, "Just a headache. I didn't get enough sleep."

She looked worried, probably from out conversation yesterday, but shook her head and smiled. She didn't want to alert Midori of the current situation any more than I did.

_That dream I had did fill in the missing piece in Airi's description of Anima. But what was that flash of an image in my head just now? Was that…T-elos?_

The festival was just finishing their set-up when we arrived. I was surprised, since we were a half hour early. People walking down the roads, stopping to play games or buy souvenirs at the many stands set up on the sides. It was mainly couples, but there were also a lot of families. They had multicolored lanterns slowly being lit down the roads of shops and game stands. Even though the sun was only sliding down out view below the horizon, the shopkeepers were lighting the lanterns early. It completed the feel of a festival.

If you walked the length of the bazaar, you'd reach a lot of parks that sloped into the beach. The fire works were launched over water, so the ocean was always crowded with boats but sitting on the beach was the perfect place to watch the go off. People were already claiming their seats close to the waters edge.

_I've spent every Independence Day I can remember on those beaches with Rukiro…_

Airi sighed exasperatedly saying, "Where is he? Doesn't he know when going on a date to _always_ show up early?"

"I've never heard of that." Midori remarked.

Airi shook her head and turned to me asking, "What about you, Hikaru? Surely you know the guy is always supposed to arrive early!"

"I've never been on a date. I wouldn't know if your perception of unwritten lays of dating is accurate or not."

"I find solace no where…" She said with overly dramatic dejection. I smiled at her reaction, even though Midori continued to study the crowd, not having much interest in us.

"Lemme alone, Kura! I only agreed to bring you here before your parents wouldn't do it!" I heard a familiar voice complain. I felt a smile fly to my face as I turned around quickly to see Rukiro and his younger cousin, Kura, trying to get him to buy her a plushie of some sort.

Airi stopped and turned around too and followed my gaze to Rukiro.

"Wow! That's him? He's hot!"

I had to admit, he did look distinctly good. He was wearing black jeans, a dark red shirt and black jacket over it. I inwardly noticed he was wearing his prized brown cowboy boots.

Kura was only nine, and had blond hair and amber eyes. She was wearing a long-sleeved blue dress. Her amber eyes were her most distinguishing trademark. She'd inherited them from MOMO Mizrahi, the 100-Series Realian prototype.

"But, Rukiro!" She whined, "It's such a cute kitty! It'd go great with my other cat plushies!"

"You've already spent all your money on ice cream, and I didn't get a job this summer for you to spend my money on stupid plushies."

"They're not stupid! And if you're working it's only more of a reason to buy your only cousin a plushie! Child labor laws prevent be from getting work…"

_Rukiro got a job…?_

"Don't guilt trip me, your parents spoil you rotten. Now can't you go find you friends and leave me in peace?"

"Why? You don't wanna have to drag your younger cousin around once your girlfriend gets here?"

"That has nothing to do with it." He said, making her smirk.

"I bet she stands you up. She'd have to have a hole in her head to wanna go out with a selfish idiot like you!"

Airi was smiling evilly at the argument and after another moment of listening I waved my hand in the air calling out, "Rukiro!"

He snapped to attention, his eyes settling on me looking confused a moment before mouthing "whoa…"

"Hikaru?" He asked, sounding surprised.

I felt myself blushing as Airi grabbed by wrist and dragged me forward. I felt all-too

embarrassed at all having let Airi have her way with giving me a "make over".

Airi shook his hand enthusiastically saying, "I'm Airi, Hikaru's assistant. And that over there is Midori."

"Um, hello." He said, still distracted. He turned to me admitting, "I didn't recognize you for a moment there, Hikaru."

I hoped I wasn't still red after the moment of rekindling the unwanted emotion, even though by Airi's grin I guessed I was.

"Did you the stomach also turns red when somebody blushes?" Kura cut-in, practically killing the moment.

"I read that!" Airi said, "I didn't know anybody else looked for weird facts like that."

Rukiro shook his head observing, "Instant friends. I'm not surprised."

_When did such a wall form between us…? _I wondered as I nodded in agreement, _it was never like this before._

Airi picked up on the awkward silence quickly, hooking her arm though Midori's and then through Kura's saying, "Let's go get some snow cones!"

Midori nearly tripped as Airi started pulling her along and objected, "But we were assigned to-"

"And I want my kitty!

"Awww, lighten up Midori! And I'll buy you're the kitty, Kura."

"Really?"

"When were you authorized to call me Midori- whoa! I nearly fell, stop dragging me along like this!"

Their voiced blended into the crowd after that, and Rukiro stared after them looking slightly bemused. I on the other hand was just embarrassed at the scene my instant had caused. Numerous people were staring after them, and a few glanced at us.

"Well, Ormus certainly has a large flavor-variety of employees." Rukiro said, breaking the silence.

"You could put it that way."

He held out his arm and smirked slightly asking, "So, shall we be going my fair lady?"

"Shut up." I said, hooking my arm in his.

I had more fun playing random games and winning prizes that we didn't keep at the numerous stands with Rukiro than I'd had in quite a while. We managed to avoid Airi, Midori, and Kura but were close to getting caught quite a few times. We caught a glance of them when buying ice creams, Midori looking seriously ticked but Kura cheerful with more than five plushies in her arms. I had to admit, Airi was doing a good job of keeping them distracted. Every time Kura wanted a plushie Airi bought it for her and Midori didn't trust her with Ormus credit cards after that afternoon and supervised the purchase.

The park near the beach spectators was gathering was surprisingly vacant. I sat down on the first bench we came across licking at my cone of chocolate ice cream. Rukiro was glancing around to make sure Midori and company weren't following us.

"The ice cream is going to fall off." I said, pointing at his cone which he was holding at a slanted level.

He straightened it and sat next to me saying, "That girl is seriously nuts."

"She annoyed the crap out of me at first. She does have her uses, so she's kinda grown on me."

"Like flesh eating bacteria." Rukiro added.

I smiled saying, "Rather."

"Don't necessarily want it at first, but slowly get used to it." We chorused. "To the point of thinking of it as a mark of individuality."

We both laughed and he said, "I can't believe you remembered that! I haven't said it in years. Especially with all the nanomachines stuff you've been cramming in there."

I elbowed him lightly saying, "Just because to remember more you have to forget some things doesn't mean that applies for everybody."

"Heh. How's Kosy coming, anyway?"

"Kosy?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"KOS-MOS isn't exactly the most lovely name and when we're IMing it's a pain in the ass to do all those caps and dashes."

"If you put caps lock on-"

"Then you'd pick on me for being slow when I had to erase my message when I forget to turn it off."

I rolled my eyes saying, "Anyway. KOS-MOS is coming along quite well, but…"

"But what?"

I took a deep breath saying, "I'm going to Jerusalem to find Mary Magdalene's grave." I replied. By the look on his face I guessed he'd of choked on the cone of his ice cream if he hadn't already finished it.

"You've got be kidding me, with all the shit that's going over there with-"

"Yes, yes, I know." I sighed, "Even now there are still holy wars going over there because of the events that happened before reaching Earth. I just wanna see the graveyard…"

"Why? And don't say you wanna try contacting Mary's soul, that'd mean-"

"Yes, I know. Animus, Anima, the Zohar, then U-DO. I know what it'd mean. I've been thinking of it, and from the information I've reviewed it's seldom even when her frame is fully functional KOS-MOS will awaken when told to. The current KOS-MOS awoke for the first time when Gnosis invaded the ship she and Shion were on and Shion's life was in danger. The second time she awoke Shion was in the E.S. Dinah and her life was in danger. After that she wasn't put into deep-unconsciousness where she couldn't boot herself up."

"But what about the Archetype Kosy?"

"That's besides the point. After T-elos destroyed KOS-MOS, even after she was completely repaired, she didn't awaken when told to. When the Black Testament was going to steal KOS-MOS and kill Shion, she awoke."

"KOS-MOS was completely destroyed then?" Rukiro asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah."

"So this wouldn't be her first complete repair."

I nodded continuing, "The only thing I don't understand is why Shion didn't repair her right away. There was a few weeks Shion barely touched KOS-MOS when she wasn't functional."

"Maybe Shion didn't know how to fix her then."

"From Shion's records, that seems fairly likely." I admitted, "They were pulled into a memory-based encephalon of Old Miltia in its last days."

Rukiro grimaced asking, "Old Miltia? Does _everything_ tie to the Miltian Conflict?"

"And the Michtam Controversy. Anyway, Kevin Winnicot originally created KOS-MOS. Kevin and Shion had a relationship for a while after Shion joined Vector. They didn't know back then, as far as I know, since Shion was a little kid. However, I think Shion may have stolen the information on Archetype KOS-MOS when in the encephalon of the past. The data is on her connection gear."

Rukiro brightened asking, "So you do have the information on her core?"

"Not exactly. It's password protected."

"Can't cha crack the code?"

"Both Kevin and Shion took that information to their graves. A young, arrogant, snot-nosed Kevin made the password and Shion never changed it. I'm starting to get my mind around the concept of nanomachines, so all the stuff with her core is way over my head. However, if I could get into that file I'd be able to get KOS-MOS ready to boot up."

"And since Kosy is picky about awakening…"

"I think it might help if I tried to do it near Mary's grave."

"So you're not going for a while then, right?"

"I don't really know." I replied, "I don't think that asshole upstairs is going to let me until I've made some serious strides with 'Kosy'." I said, warming up to the nickname a little, "I'm almost ready to start having her limbs constructed, after that the real work will start."

Rukiro sighed saying, "So by September you think you'll be out of the country?"

"Sooner, I'd imagine. We probably won't fly since we'll have Kosy with us. I'm guessing the end of the month."

"Oh." He said, sounding disappointed.

An awkward silence followed, even though he was first to break it.

I felt his hand close over mine as he said, "Be careful over there, alright? Nobody would wanna know you're related to Shion."

I looked up, my eyes meeting his for a long moment. The rest was a whirl in my memory. I'm not entirely sure who started leaning closer first. I felt him wrap his arms around me shortly before our mouths jolted together. One thought dilated: we both had chocolate ice cream breath.

"Hikari! Rukiro! The fireworks are starting!" Airi called cheerfully, not too far away from the sound of it. He jerked apart instantly, as Airi, Midori, and Kura turned the corner. Kura was carrying more than eight plushies, and had gotten Airi and Midori to carry two particularly large ones each. By the look of it, they were all cat plushies.

"Let's head to the beach, there's still a spot open near the water! Tide's coming in, so nobody's sitting to close, but I have a tide chart and…"

I barely listened to the rest of her rant, as she proceeded to say the time of all the tides that day and where she bought it. As we left the park, Kura was smirking at Rukiro's jumpy demeanor and Airi picked up on it after a few moments and smiled knowingly. Midori was only scowling giving the three of us an ear-full.

When we reached the beach, navigating through people everywhere, Airi spread out the sheet she'd been carrying (I didn't spot it over the plushies, so I figured she'd just bought it) just at the edge of the wet sand from the waves crashing up against it.

The rest of the evening felt like it went too fast, since I was in no hurry to return to Ormus' headquarters. As the others were around, when Rukiro and me parted nothing like our _last_ parting accrued, but when we got in the car Airi bombarded me with questions. It was similar to a high quality taxi due to the partition between the backseat, where Airi and me sat, from the front seat where Midori and the driver sat. I figured it was soundproof, but even if it wasn't I doubted Midori would want to listen to Airi's ranting.

"Did you two finally kiss? Anything past second base? Was it nice? Is he a good kisser? Was that the first time? Are you two official? What triggered the kiss? Did you tell him we're leaving the country? What'd he say to that?"

"I can't answer that many questions!" I objected.

Airi sighed asking, "Alright, I'll slow down…"


	6. Dream A Little Longer

"_My body is Mary's body. Inside KOS-MOS sleeps Mary's will. Now that Mary's will has awakened within KOS-MOS, I will take it inside me and complete my resurrection, as the true Mary Magdalene. KOS-MOS is nothing more than a temporary vessel!"_

_A blurry female form with dark skin and light hair jumped up to a platform above the ground. The room was large and circular. The walls looked blue and crystalline, but the events were to blurry to be sure._

"_Mary's…will? Mary's resurrection? Wait, what will her resurrection bring about? And what is it Kevin's trying to do?" Another woman, this one with brown hair asked. I wasn't sure, but her eyes seemed to be a blue-green color._

"_You mean you don't know? You are the Key, Shion. You're the Maiden of Mary Magdalene. Mary's resurrection is what he desires. The convergence of dissipating will, the revival of the soul--that is Mary's duty." The first voice, the dark-skinned woman said._

_The identity of the person standing beside Shion was clear to me. She had long blue hair, with a complex white and blue attire. Her eyes were a pale, almost glowing blue._

_The dream progressed as it had previously, even though in the end when KOS-MOS said if T-elos' existence would bring harm to her friends she'd be forced to stop her, the scene came into focus and I saw KOS-MOS and T-elos' faces clearly. It was the first time I saw KOS-MOS with blue eyes, and T-elos' resemblance to her was haunting._

I opened my eyes, the dream not jerking me into wakefulness like it usually did. Light was streaming in through the window, and I picked up my cell phone that was sitting on the night stand to see it was seven AM.

"I wonder…if it'll be perfectly clear when I go to Jerusalem…"

Days of working on KOS-MOS melted into weeks. Every other weekend Rukiro came by, even though most of the time we spent exploring. It was only for a little more than an hour, Airi, Midori, or random Ormus workers were always around. Airi was more than happy to leave us alone, but no distinctly 'romantic' events happened.

On his second visit I decided to show him KOS-MOS. We entered the room past the glass partition of my lab and the maintenance bed lid opened. He whistled, surprised at how far I'd come with her.

"Wow." He said, "It's only been two months since we found her and you've already gotten limbs reattached and her colors back."

I smiled slightly saying, "While, we're behind her skin color getting back to normal…well, if unnaturally pale is normal, then yes. We haven't really messed with her hair, the fact it's got a blue tint isn't out work."

He raised his eyebrows asking, "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope." I replied.

"Have started messing with her core unit?"

"Not really, I don't want to damage it until I've hacked that file. I did check her observational abilities and they weren't damaged too badly, so I was bale to repair them. The movement control she'll have over her body is pretty much complete, so all that's really left is her core unit." I said, saying the last part darkly.

He nodded asking randomly, "I guess you disagree with having her attires terribly revealing unlike the old designer?"

I smirked slightly saying, "Sorta. It doesn't make much of a difference as long as the material it's made from can endure as much as she can."

"Didn't bother with the fancy gauntlets or helmet thingy?"

"The 'helmet thingy' is called a Hilbert Effect Generator. And, no, I was able to use the information from her second and third configurations to have it built-in."

"Fancy." He said, not sounding very interested. "But has her hair seriously been getting bluer or do we just both need glasses?"

I hid a smile at his fixation on that fact saying, "Airi noticed it too."

"Alright, so do the _three_ of us just need glasses?"

"Glasses don't change the colors your perceive." He rolled his eyes exasperatedly at my comment as I said, "The Green Leech refuses to believe it, but she looked surprised when she saw Kosy after having all her limbs reattached. She is pretty cool looking, eh?"

"Hard to believe she's the same faded and battered chunk of feminine scrap metal we picked up in the middle of a forest. Is she as strong as she was? Like, could she really function in space?"

"Theoretically." I replied, "We don't really have the technology to find out. We remade her limbs exactly to their previous forms and reinforced the rest of her frame, so she should."

"What about the Hilbert Effect, will that still work?"

"It should, but I doubt we'll ever need it."

"Kosy's secondary purpose was as an anti-Gnosis weapons android, right?"

"Her public purpose, more like it. But, yes. She could kick some serious human, Gnosis, or mecha ass."

Rukiro nodded saying, "I bet she could…anyway, have you been able to find out anything about Kevin Winnicot?"

"Most of the stuff I found out are public files, so it's information from when he was in Vector. I've gotten very little info on when he was in U-TIC."

"For you password, why not just try 'Shion Uzuki'?"

"Shion was only a little girl when that file was created." I disagreed, pulling my connection gear out and inputting the command to close KOS-MOS' maintenance bed. "There is the chance they might of met briefly since Sou Uzuki and Kevin knew each other, and Shion would hover around since her mother, Aoi, was being treated there. It's highly unlikely she'd of make enough of an impression on him, presuming they even met."

"I suppose." Rukiro said, unconvinced.

The door to the lab slid open and Airi entered calling out, "Rukiro! Midori says to get yer ass outta here!"

We walked into the normal lab through the glass partition as he said, "I was wondering when she would realize I've been hanging around for an hour more than usual!"

Airi smiled saying, "Thanks for visiting! Hikaru shouldn't be crabby for at least the rest of the day now!"

He smirked knowingly, even though I scowled saying, "Airi!"

"Later, Hikaru!" He said, leaving the lab.

"Dewa, nochihodo." I replied fondly.

When the door closed Airi smiled evilly at me saying, "You are _so_ in love."

I felt myself go red and I automatically denied, "D-drop it."

Airi and me left for about an hour, and after drinking a soda in the cafeteria. I had my head resting on the table, glad to have my eyes closed after staring an the LCD screen for nearly the entire day.

_Rukiro's right though…I'll need glasses by the time I'm twenty with this schedule._

…_I wonder what I'll do after completing KOS-MOS. I never could of foreseen this back in June when we found her. KOS-MOS might still have the power of Animus. I wonder if Yeshua was reincarnated…if he was, I wonder if he still has the power of Anima._

_I hope not…_ I thought, as I felt my eyes closing, the vision of the white table blurring. _It wouldn't be fair to make somebody endure something like that twice…_ I heard footsteps coming toward me, and a large hand settling gently down on my head as my eyes closed.

"Dream a little longer, Hikaru."

_KOS-MOS stood, looking down on T-elos. T-elos was bent down on one knee, evidently having lost their clash. _

"_I see…" She said, getting to her feet, "So, it's not just your appearance that has changed. Fine. But I'm afraid that won't be enough to stop me!"_

_A red glow formed around T-elos' chest, evidently the start of an attack. _

"_KOS-MOS!" Shion yelled, alarmed as she recognized the attack._

"_Do not worry, Shion." KOS-MOS said reassuringly._

"_But that--that attack will--"_

"_You are the one that designed this body, and it will take…" KOS-MOS paused, "more then T-elos to defeat me."_

"_Shut up, you mechanical doll." T-elos said dismissively, a red sphere hovering over her chest, still gaining power, "Disappear from the face of this world!"_

_The sphere of crimson cane hurling toward KOS-MOS as Shion yelled, "KOS-MOS, step aside!"_

_The sphere hit KOS-MOS straight on, and the impact of the blast sent Shion falling backwards. She landed with a thud, calling KOS-MOS' name once more. The dust cleared and KOS-MOS remained standing, undamaged, the crimson sphere hovering in her hand. The closed her fist around it and it disappeared in a flash of white light._

"_You neutralized it with one hand?" T-elos demanded, she then laughed saying, "You haven't got the best of me."_

_Despite her words, her tone wasn't as confident as it had been. "Hardly!" She continued, "This is far from my true power!"_

_A red sphere, much larger than the first materialized in front of her as she spread her arms wide, summoning the attack._

"_Shion," KOS-MOS said gently, "please stand back."_

"_KOS-MOS…?" Shion asked attentively as KOS-MOS stepped forward, her uniform changing as and T-elos loosed her attack._

"_Be gone!" T-elos yelled as the sphere hurtled forward to KOS-MOS. KOS-MOS had her arms outstretched, and a blue and silver sphere of her own materialized in front of her chest. It gained size until it was the same size as T-elos'. It obliterated T-elos' attack as it sped forward, continuing to hit T-elos full-on. _

_T-elos' eyes widened in disbelief as this happened, and moaned as she just managed to stand her ground._

"_I'm sorry, T-elos," KOS-MOS said, getting to her feet and picking up a knife. "but this is goodbye." She said, throwing the knife at lightning speed. T-elos collapsed as the glow of white light disappeared. KOS-MOS walked forward slowly, looking down at T-elos. T-elos, who was starting to emit a golden glow._

_KOS-MOS also began to glow gold, too the glow increasing as she got closer to T-elos._

"_She's resonating with T-elos!" Jin, Shion's older brother said._

"_Be careful, we don't know what will happen next!" Ziggy warned._

"_KOS-MOS…" Shion trailed off, watching the events unfold. She ran forward as KOS-MOS knelt down beside T-elos, taking her lifeless body in her arms. Shion and the others stopped short, watching T-elos slowly fade away, her forehead pressed to KOS-MOS'._

_KOS-MOS stayed kneeling for a moment as a doorway in the blue crystalline opened, allowing them to proceed forward._

"_KOS-MOS…" Shion muttered, "Are you alright, KOS-MOS?"_

"_Shion…" KOS-MOS said, getting to her feet. She turned around to face her creator, and for what might be the first time, smiled. "Thank you. There's no need to be concerned. I'm fine."_

I opened my eyes slowly, wondering what had happened. I blinked and sat up looking around. The cafeteria's white tables and benches were almost all vacant, although there were a few researchers in the Ormus uniform drinking coffee and having conversations with a companion. I looked around for any people that had been there when I arrived, and only saw one young woman in the same kind of uniform Airi had. I stood up and approached the brunette.

She looked up from her laptop, but didn't recognize me.

"Is there something I can do for you?" She asked politely.

"Sort of. Did somebody come into the cafeteria and put a hand on my head when I was falling asleep?" I asked, realizing fleetingly how cheerily ridiculous I must sound.

"No…" She replied.

"Thanks anyway." I said and left the cafeteria, heading to the lab after stopping a the vending machine and siding my Ormus ID card in to get a Gatorade.

_What a strange dream…the first one I started having became clear like that after a while, but that was the first time I ever saw that one and it was crystal clear._

_But…was it really just a dream that somebody told me to 'dream a little longer'?_

The doors slid open to the familiar lab and in a way, I felt like I wan entering a sanctuary. The lights were off, but both computers were on. To my surprise, Airi was sitting at hers and when the door opened letting the light of the hall into the room she looked up and smiled.

"I didn't expect you to be working late, too."

I sat down at my computer and turned my computer on while setting my bottle of Gatorade on the desk.

"I really wanna work on that core unit. It's already the end of August! We leave for Jerusalem next week and I wanna try activating her over there…"

Airi smiled saying, "Any luck on this file?"

"You've been trying to crack it, too?" I asked, making no attempt to mask my surprise. I was running caffeine obtained from soda, energy from Gatorade, some fast food for dinner, and a catnap in the cafeteria. Not exactly the healthiest way to go.

"You bet." She replied.

I lingered a moment before turning toward my computer and opening the file. The familiar window demanding a password came up.

Bringer of Order

Processing….

Access denied.

Testament

Processing…

Access denied.

Michtam

Processing….

Access denied.

Mother

Processing…

Access denied.

Archetype

Processing…

Access denied.

I starred at the cursor for a long moment I decided there was no harm in trying.

Shion Uzuki

Processing….

Time seemed to slow down as I waited for it to finish.

Access denied.

Shion

Processing….

Verified. Opening Document.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Airi asked, snapping to attention.

"The password! It's 'Shion'! Capital 'S'!"

"No way! Airi exclaimed, quickly typing it.

"Yes way!"

"It is!" She squealed.

I scanned the information as she did the same before saying, "We shouldn't need any more information than this to finish her…"

I barely wanted to believe it; the idea of being able to _complete _KOS-MOS had been a dream.


	7. Voices of The Past

Author's Note: Ragnarok! Armageddon! It's an update! I'm very sorry for not touching this story in so long, but I tend to go on month-long bouts of working on a book non-stop then dropping it for a month or longer to work on another one. I got writer's block with Xenosaga IV an picked up Valkyrie's Favor, my Valkyrie Profile fan fiction and then my own original book, Past Incarnation. I got the cold from hell in the middle of October and barely turned my laptop on (I write all my stories on my laptop and use the family computer for internet) since then. While it's been really lame of me not to update, I apologize and present unto you, my fan, a new chapter. bows head

You may thank KH Insider for letting me download Pain from Xenosaga Episode I, which rekindled my desire to work on this book.

Xenosaga IV

Chapter Seven

Voices of The Past

In the morning, around ten AM, Midori had evidently come looking for us in our rooms and found us missing. She entered the lab, and observed the scene of Airi typing rapidly and me reading the document.

"When did you two start?" She asked irritable. "I thought you'd spelt in."

"We didn't sleep." Airi replied.

"You've been at it all night?" She demanded, "You better be ready to leave for the Middle East, we're leaving in a week!"

She paused a moment and I felt her eyes settle on me. I usually would engage in an argument filled with wisecracks every chance I got. By my silence, she must of reasoned that something had changed.

"Did something happen?"

"We opened the document on Archetype KOS-MOS' construction." I replied.

"What?" She demanded, "You seriously got the password? We've had professionals picking at every possible entrance into that file and you opened it and didn't tell anybody?"

"Pretty much." Airi said.

"We've used hundreds of data-hacking programs at that file! Surely it required more than just one password. Their file-protection technology back then couldn't of been so slack if we weren't able to open it. Did you unlock a menu to open other password-protected sections?"

"It is in sections." I replied. "But they all have the same password."

"But the password choice is controlled by the one making the file." Midori objected, "If Kevin Winnicot was intelligent enough to construct such a high-caliber android he must have had enough sense to protect the information."

"This is the first and most basic blueprint." I said irritable. I was getting tired of her distraction. "It's one hundred and seventy-two years old, it was saved shortly before the Miltian Conflict. Winnicot was younger than me when he made this file."

"If Shion had that kind of data, why isn't there more updated information on the android's current configuration?"

"This is the last question I'm answering." I said firmly, "Shion obtained this data in the last year of T.C. even though it was fifteen years old then. Shion had no data on Kosy's core before then. Kevin Winnicot brought it with him to his grave."

"Then how'd she get it?"

"That was the last question." I said, tuning her out.

"When Shion and the others entered the encephalon of memories that formed an Old Mika, she got it off Kevin's computer there." Airi replied.

"There's no proof-"

"Yes, yes, we know." Airi said, cutting her off. I smiled silently thinking Airi picked some of my bad habits. "We only have Shion's word, and the time gap doesn't match perfectly, but it makes sense. If you trace the data provider of the file it's from the U-TIC organization."

Midori sighed and crossed her arms saying, "I'll alert Mr. Uzuki now. Or would you rather do that, Hikaru?"

"Two extra questions." I remarked. I could feel her scowl on my back as I said, "You owe me a pizza if I answer."

Midori threw her hands in the air in defeat, and groaned as she left the lab saying, "I'll do it myself!"

Airi and me exchanged smirks and I continued making the comparison from the Archetype KOS-MOS, to KOS-MOS Version Four, and then to Eleutherios KOS-MOS. I was surprised to see how much of Archetype KOS-MOS' power had been sealed or removed in the first, second, third, and forth major alterations to KOS-MOS. While there was only one KOS-MOS, her frame underwent extreme changes a total of five times. This was the sixth time she got serious repairs.

Archetype KOS-MOS generated extreme power but most of it was sealed and slowly released. The power of all KOS-MOS configurations before Version Four kept the power she could summon up at will minimal. Since KOS-MOS was known for awakening at unpredictable times and not always following orders, I couldn't blame them for wanting to keep her power in check. Especially since the Archetype was forced to awaken prematurely and killed half the researchers on the original KOS-MOS project.

The current KOS-MOS configuration, Eleutherios, didn't have any limitations to how much of her true power she could draw from at any given time. Shion had a lot of control over her actions in the past, but I wasn't stressing that factor. Should the need arise that she needed to operate at maximum output, I wouldn't need to confirm letting her power levels go above the normal limit. I was more than aware she was still a machine, but it didn't change much.

The control system to overdrive her own judgment was also close to nonexistent. My goal in repairing her was to return her to her pervious state and make sure her body could handle all the power she could create.

_If there were too many limitations, how could I call her 'Eleutherios'?_

It was unenviable there was going to be an argument in a few hours…I thought and rolled over. Despite the sun streaming through my window I felt like a zombie. Rukiro had come been here Saturday, I stayed up for a full twenty four hours (if not longer) and was asleep most of Tuesday. I was poked awake reminded even though I pulled an all-nighter I still had to work on KOS-MOS for six hours that day or else I'd be in deep shit.

The morning went painfully slow. I figured it was the first time I had dreaded Rukiro coming to see me. I yawned as I typed, tired of typing names of programs so many times over in the progress report. Airi took care of the progress reports basic stages and edited my completed versions, but it still left me to type all the technical information.

With the assistance of my research, Ormus' medical department was working on healing with nanomachines again. Currently, they'd gotten as far as having creams that could heal even nearly-fatal wounds in a few hours without stitches. It was expensive to make and had bad side-effects for some people, but they were slowly getting close to the basics of past technology.

Airi suddenly burst into my office squealing, "Hikaru! Guess what? Guess what we're going once Kosy is complete?"

"Where?" I asked without looking up from the screen of my computer. When she came in squealing it usually meant that there was a new desert in the cafeteria. I picked up my water bottle and took a large slug of water, waiting for her reply.

"The Dammerung! We're going to the Dammerung!"

I choked on the water I was slugging down, most of it getting expelled though my nose as I turned around in my chair demanding, "The Dammerung?"

"Yes! And then it's going to land on Earth for the first time since the planet was first colonized again! We'll be going to Lake Turkana when that happens!

"Lake Turkana? Isn't that were the Zohar was found?"

Airi nodded saying, "But the Dammerung is much more interesting! It's been missing for years, who knows what kind of information they've brought back!"

"After half the crew decided to stay on Earth, didn't the Elsa and Dammerung stay in contact for fifty years before they losing the ability to communicate?"

Airi was nodding the entire time I was talking saying, "Right! The Dammerung has countless examples of technology from T.C., they're still manufacturing Realians!"

"Realians?" I demanded, "All the early colonists were so dead-set against restarting the mass-production of Realians…"

"Really! They might even have information on Kosy!"

"And we're going after going to Jerusalem?"

"Well, Midori said once Kosy has awoken. I think if your asked you dad we could go once they were close enough for us to get out there."

"I can't believe it's back…" I said without making any attempt to hide the awe in my voice, "The ship is huge, so I suppose I can see how…but wait, they're landing? Does the country even have a place large enough for the to land?"

Airi giggled saying, "They're going to land in some large fields in the center of the country. But that's beside the point! Think of all the technology we lost when we lost contact with the Dammerung, they weren't able to leave that much behind."

"Nobody ever thought the ship might still be functional…I wonder if it's still operating properly." I said thoughtfully. "The main two reasons we lost so much technology was because the Dammerung disappeared out of contact with Earth, and people didn't want things as complex as they were. Even if it was for peace reasons, it was taken too far."

"Recreating the U.M.N. is their main pick." Airi added, "I wonder how far along the Dammerung crew is with that…"

"Who knows? The Dammerung was understaffed when they left Earth shortly after finding it again since half the crew stayed behind, so it's hard to say how far along."

Airi had a dreamy smile plastered to her face as she added, "And think of all the cute Realian-guys that must be up there."

I sighed and shook my head as she added, "Well, you don't have to worry about that since you've got Rukiro. Isn't he coming to bid you bon voyage tomorrow and try sneaking aboard?"

I gave her a sour look saying, "The first part is close enough, second part I'm trying to stop. Now sit down and get to work or bounce down to the cafeteria and bring some sweets back."

"Aye, aye, Cap'n! Anything chocolate, right?"

"Yes, yes, now go." I said waving her off as I spun around in my chair and returned to work at the computer. While the repairs on KOS-MOS' main system were just about complete, there was still coordinating everything that was taking the most time. It was slow work, but just as important as actually fixing her frame.

And the day passed with a few arguments with Midori, dampening Airi's hyperactivity, and working on KOS-MOS. For the most part it was normal procedure, but half the Ormus employees were talking about the Dammerung. The halls and cafeteria were abuzz with conversation, especially around the higher-ups. I eavesdropped on some of their conversations when I got the chances, but it wasn't much new information.

While I didn't know if it were true or not, I did hear two mechanics I'd worked with briefly saying the one communication link they opened with the ship seemed to have been opened by a Realian. Since the transmissions with the Dammerung were being kept top-secret, not even a few trickles of information reached Midori's feelers.

_At least I think have leeches have feelers…_ I thought sardonically as I headed down the hall after dinner back to KOS-MOS' lab. When we got back from Jerusalem, I was going to be given a new lab and complete crew of workers. But when I entered the current lab, while it was very spacious, the lack of seating was more than apparent. I thought the workers I'd been assigned showed up early for a moment.

There was, of course, Airi sitting in her usual seat acting like a ring-leader ranting about the Dammerung, Realians, and KOS-MOS, with five mechanics that helped me construct KOS-MOS' limbs, the specialist that helped with the construction of nanomachines, and the girl who send our progress reports to Midori and my father. I inwardly noted out of all the people that helped with KOS-MOS, the only ones that fell for whatever Airi had planned weren't more than twenty-five.

My eyes settled on Midori after scanning the crowd, who quickly jumped to her feet and ran over to me.

"Hikaru! You have perfect timing! I gathered some of the people who've helped us with Kosy to collectively ask you something!"

"And what is this something?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips stubbornly.

"To ask your father what the Dammerung crew has said in their transmissions." Airi said confidently. Any idle chatter among the group of young men and women died down as they heard Airi, their eyes redirected toward me.

"No." I said flatly, "We'll all find out soon enough when the information trickles down, so there's no point in forcing it."

"But Hikaru…" Airi whimpered, "Everybody wants to know! And he's your father, he'll tell you before Midori or any of his colleagues!"

"No. I'm not dealing with that asshole. Now get out of my lab and leave me alone." I said with finality, nothing Airi or the group was going to accept.

"She's right though, if he were going to tell anybody early it'd be you." The brown-haired female nanomachines specialist added.

"And it'd really boost the moral of all your underlings like us." A male mechanic added hopefully. A few others said things along the same lines, and while it did make me feel a little guilty, I still shot down their suggestions while waiting for the group to disperse.

"For the last time," I started but stopped abruptly.

A wave of lightheadedness passed over me, my vision blurring and hearing abruptly changing. It vision was less clear than reality, but the lab of people was gone and the figure of a blue-haired android appeared before me, a large blurred device behind another two human forms. When I saw a tall and slender man at the top of a stair case, I felt a chill run down my spine.

_What color are his eyes?_ I wondered as the last of reality slipped away. _Chaos had blue eyes…not that it matters. He's not Yeshua._

_KOS-MOS' hand suddenly closed around the pendant, shattering the fragile jewel with a crunch. The small pieces drifted to the floor as she lowered her hand._

_Wilhelm's eyes widened in surprise as he demanded, "What are you doing? Mary! You fool! Now this universe will be completely destroyed."_

_KOS-MOS turned around, walking down the platform back to Shion._

"_Even Yeshua will perish." Wilhelm said, desperate to make her realize the depth of her actions. "Mary, is this what you really want?"_

The scene was only clear for a few moments, and left as abruptly as it came. I was back in the dark lab in a split second, my head swimming. I felt myself fall forward and succumbed to the peaceful darkness.

The moment I started feeling again I started to grope for the last clear memory in my mind. I hoped to keep my consciousness but elude reality a few moment, but the voices of the past wouldn't return. I gave up on holding on to the darkness and opened my eyes, expecting to see either my room at Ormus, the lab, or even the hospital.

I blinked, unsure if what I was seeing was correct. I was in a large cavern with tall ceilings, walls far apart, and burning torches on the walls illuminating the area. The stone had a orangey gold glow to it, allowing the fire to illuminate it effectively. The torches themselves were mounted on the walls with metal brackets and seemed to still be relatively high.

The room was huge and the ceiling sank down into a hallway. I sat up and turned around, seeing large stone double-doors on the other side of the area. The ground had a straight stone path, perfectly new feeling though it's design was that of ancient times. I was sitting on the path and looked over to the indentations in the ground. They were all fairly large rectangular boxes set into the floor. While there wasn't much of an alteration in flatness compared to the floor, but I could tell they were stone lids.

"Asher…" I muttered aloud, remembering there had been an E.S. by that name. "Shion's records didn't mention anybody or anything else with that name though…"

I got to my feet and scanned the other names on the stones, recognizing almost all of them to be E.S. names. A few I wasn't sure of, but the feeling of familiarity reassured me. I walked down the path toward the large stone coffin above the ground in the hallway. It was made of the same orange-gold stone and seemed perfectly new. I looked up at the cross not far behind it, wondering why it hadn't been crafted with perfect edges like most crosses.

I stared at it a long moment as I approached, stopping at the top of the small stairs. I went to take a step forward when a sharp wall of pain filled my mind, a memory coming with it. It was more of a single vision than an actual scene, and depicted KOS-MOS in her first configuration bound to an older gray-blue of the same cross.

I felt myself falling backwards, inwardly managing to dread hitting the ground a few feet below through the pain in my head. The impact never came and I felt as though someone had caught me, but the headache made me question what had happened. I opened my eyes as the pain receded, finding myself kneeling on the floor with my legs under me. I was still on above the stairs, too.

I didn't feel any aches from a fall and examined my knees to be sure. I glanced back to the entrance, wondering what part of the 'fall' I'd hallucinated. I stood and took walked around the right side of the coffin, gently tracing my hand down the side of the cool stone. I looked at the letters on the lid, surprised to see they were in another language. I furrowed my brows and hurried down the stairs below, looking at the closest coffin below.

"What…?" I muttered, seeing the same types of letters on them. I ran down the length of the path to where the last coffin ended, unable to identify any of the names. "How the hell did I read 'Asher' then…?"

I walked down the path and up the stairs again, disturbed by what had changed. I looked at the letters of the coffin once more, before shaking my head and continuing toward the cross. I looked at the back of it too, just out of interest. The wall behind it was the same perfectly-carved stone that the pathway was made up of. Unlike all the other walls that were natural stone, the man-made appearance of this one caught my attention.

While it wasn't a distinctly strange design aspect, I wondered if there was anything beyond it.

_I read too much fiction growing up…no professional is going suspect fake walls everywhere._ I thought as I touched the stone. I knocked on it, surprised to hear a slight echo.

"All hail the fiction!" I exclaimed triumphantly.

I knocked again with more force, becoming more sure there was a room beyond it. Everything looked new, but I couldn't help but wonder if the wall was just a little newer. I looked around the huge cavern, doubting my guess.

I let my hand linger on the cool stone, impressed at the smoothness. A darker hand shot out _from the wall_ enclosing over mine and jerking me forward. The movement wasn't painful, just abrupt. I felt a something between a squeak and squeal escape from my throat as I was pulled _through the wall. _I fell to my knees in the room, the apparition hand over mind disappearing as quick as it came.

While the hand had been warm, my hand tingled more than the rest of my body. I rubbed it with my other hand, examining the room. It was small with rougher and less-flat walls, bumpier floors, and a stone coffin in the center. The stone of the coffin seemed paler than that of the other coffin in the hall. I stood and touched the lid, surprised at how much colder it was than the

other stone.

The rectangular tiles on the floor didn't have even edges with specially carved pieces to meet the wall, adding to the feeling that the room had been added with lesser funds or importance. All the other coffins had the names of those below were indented to be higher than the rest of the lid, but this coffin only had one word scratched into the surface.

I squinted to make out the characters, curious if they looked like the shadows of English letters. The carving had been done with some precision since the letters were neat, but not very deep. The other coffins had the words so perfectly written it looked like something a computer would create. I blinked and when I saw them again the lines seemed more defined.

"Ah!" I exclaimer, more out of surprise as I recognized the English letters.

Yeshua

I swallowed, stepping back again. I blinked feeling disturbingly calm. Surprised; but otherwise at ease. I stared at the letters and glanced at the brick wall, silently wondering how I was going to get _out._

_Since I can't physically be here once my body at Ormus wakes up I should be fine…_

_But I've never been in a dream that felt as real as reality. And there's no promise I'll wake up if I'm awake here…would that mean I need to go to sleep?_

"Waaaaaaaay too much fiction." I muttered, placing my hand on the wall that lead to the rest of the cavern. I felt my hand sink through the wall, and since I was still unaccustomed at the movement I tumbled forward, stretching my arms out so I didn't slam into the cross. I felt like I scuffed my knees a little as I did, but it was minor so I didn't pay much attention to it.

I stood looked at the wall to the back room again, wondering where I was.

_I wonder if Yeshua's and Mary's graves would be together. It'd make sense, since Yeshua had the power of Anima and Mary Animus. But would the person in charge of making the grave know that? Yeshua did die at one point but there's no way to know how long after Mary…_

I sighed and looked down at the coffin beyond the cross, tracing my fingers along what seemed to be the name, a feeling of familiarity filling me as I did. I tensed as I saw English letters under my fingers. The letters were easy to read now in English:

Mary Magdalene

"Mary's grave…they were buried in the same crypt…"

The tomb vanished before my eyes and I was pulled into darkness once again, but it was anything but peaceful.

Final Hikari: And there's the chapter! I hope you enjoyed it, and the next shall be out soon. I'm debating if I want to do adlibbing to some of the facts left unknown in Xenosaga…like the time after Mary's death, before Yeshua died, and potentially the 'Maiden of Mary'. I want to focus on where Xenosaga left off from here on out, but not only would it be fun for me to write all that I'm hesitant. So, what do you think? In a review, please tell me if you would like flashbacks. Also----oh shit! I need to make dinner tonight! Thanks for reading, please review!


	8. Good Morning

Author's note: My PC may have crashed…but thanks to my seven-year-old-barely-functional HP Pavilion I was able to post this! All hail PC packrats! It kicks me offline every fifteen minutes or so, but I shall have a new computer by the second week of December so expect regular updates by then!

Xenosaga IV

Chapter 8

"Good Morning."

My eyes sprung open to see a dark office. I rolled over on my back, blinking a few times waiting for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. The lab was almost completely pitch black, only illuminated by my connection gear sitting beside my computer.

"Hikaru!" Airi exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "You're okay, I was so worried when you just passed out like that! Then there was the explosion and the power went out…"

"Why didn't the backup generators go on?" I asked as I sat up, putting my hand on my forehead as a slight headache materialized.

"I don't really know." She replied and kneeled down beside me. "But what about you? You were out for more than ten minutes!"

"That's i _it /i _?" I asked, disturbed by the time-anomaly my mind created.

Airi nodded, her expression unusually serious.

I stood and walked over to my chair, Airi hovering close evidently expecting me to collapse again. I plopped into my chair asking, "What kind of explosion?"

"I didn't see anything through the windows…" She mused looking out the rectangular line of windows along KOS-MOS' semicircular part of the lab. It was dark outside and the small part of the sky that was visible was clouded over. I stared at it a long moment before sitting up and walking toward the glass divider. The automatic door was open and I walked past KOS-MOS' maintenance bed and looked out the window at the 'clouds'.

"Airi, you fool! That's smoke!"

"What?" She yelped, running over to where I stood. "I thought they were low clouds!"

I shot her an exasperated look and hurried back to my computer console and snatched my connection gear off the keyboard.

"What are you doing?" She asked shakily when she saw me searching for the lock system on the door with my connection gear. There was a rectangular box set outside the door where I'd slide the keycard through, were there power for it to activate.

"I'm trying to locate the security system though any device that's still active in the lock so I can override the automatic lock without power."

"You can do that from a simple lock on the door?" Airi asked doubtfully and came over to hover beside me.

"Well, it's security level Quadruple A so it's not exactly a 'simple lock.' I'm almost to the main security drive…Shit, it wants a password to get to the backup generator's activation panel."

"Try your mother's name." Airi suggested, earning a sardonic look. "What? It worked with Kevin Winnicot!"

Izaioy Uzuki

"Your mother's name was Izaioy?" She asked as I typed the name in. "That kind of rhymes…"

Processing…

"Her maiden name was Kamina." I replied.

Access denied.

Izaioy

"Kamina…with the right kanjis, doesn't that have something to do with gods?"

"I think so."

Processing…

Access denied.

Izaioy Kamina

Processing…

Verified. Opening control panel.

"What is i _with /i _men and obvious passwords? It's a miracle the database isn't hijacked!" I grumbled as it opened.

"Awww, but it's really romantic… I bet Rukiro has some sort of password as your name." I shot her a sarcastic look as she added, "Well, making the password Izaioy Kamina wasn't that stupid since Ormus doesn't knowledge Arku Uzuki ever having a wife."

"What?" I asked sharply looking up from my connection gear.

"Don't give me the 'tell me or I kill you' look!" Airi whined, "It only said he had a daughter. I don't know if it applies to government documentation. But if it didn't it'd be really hard for any hacker to get the name Kamina. They may be able to get Izaioy, but her last name would be tricky since Izaioy is a relatively common name in Japan…I think."

"Whatever." I said, wanting to close my distracted line of thoughts as much as the conversation. "This thing isn't opening, I think the backup generators aren't active."

"Is that possible?" Airi asked as she fidgeted.

"Well," I started but was interrupted by a hellacious boom. The lab lit up for a split second with dark red light and the explosion's force shook the lab so hard Airi lost her balance and lost my own and hit the wall before falling to the floor.

I swore as it stopped and muttered, "We're under attack…"

"What?" Airi asked shakily, her eyes wide.

"I said we're under attack." I said and got too my feet.

"W-what? By who?" She squeaked.

"I don't know but there's no other explanation."

I heard a slight cracking sound in the distance and took a step closer to the window, trying to get closer to the sound to distinguish it. I waited a moment then hear loud the whirr of low-quality machines from out the window. It was getting louder and I stepped back instinctively.

As I did, the item making the sound came into view. Airi screamed as we saw the auto-tech jump up and past our window.

"What was that?" She demanded from the door.

"I think it was an Auto-Tech." I said, finding it fairly easy to keep my tone solid. It was a 0-78 Grisly, a basic Auto-Tech unit used during raids usually accompanied with soldiers. It had a half circle "head" that lead where it's main gun was attached, able to fire normal shots and some forms of lasers. Below the head was a semicircular main body with long metal legs below it. It looked rather yellowish, making me guess it was a 0-78 Grisly 2. It would be strange if they had sent the weaker version.

I shoved my connection gear in my pocket as it came back into view in a flash and a thing red line shattered the glass and the connected with the glass that separated the main lab from the part with KOS-MOS' maintenance bed, devastating that as well. I swore softly as the glass began raining down in a colossal wall of destruction. I dove under the protective lip of KOS-MOS' maintenance bed and covered my head with my arms, hoping to avoid the worst of

it.

The glass was designed to break rather than shatter and the manufacture's guarantee wasn't total bullshit for a change; the glass that fell was mainly in large chunks. I felt a cut a shallow scratch a little above the small of my back and a few more minor cuts in my legs. My arms were nicked, tearing little holes in my long-sleeved black shirt. I winced as I felt a twelve inch long and two inch thick piece of glass lodge itself in my left arm, about three inches above my elbow.

I swore and felt the glass deep in my arm, trying to make the best of it as the rain stopped: at least it was my arm rather than my eyes that was directly below. Though a few moments to carefully dislodge myself out would be nice, the chunks of glass were close to being a minor part of my worries. I pushed myself away from the maintenance bed, felling a few pieces scratch my limbs, and jumped to my feet as the machine hurtled itself forward and toward Airi.

It created a small rain of glass it flew over my head and towards Airi.

"Move!" I yelled, hurrying to what was left of the glass wall while jerking the hunk of glass

from my arm.

Airi snapped into action, moving to the left just in time. The unit ripped trough the metal door and into the hallway. Airi had been on her knees and was sprawled out on the floor, taking her sweet time to get back up. Even my own movements felt slow and inadequate and I snatched my backpack up off the floor and shoved my arm into the deepest reaches of the largest pocket. I felt the small compartment I'd added and jerked the poorly-stitched zipper open and removed my pistol.

It was an old-fashioned black pistol, only capable of shooting fifteen bullets. They were larger bullets, modified to have extra potency on mechanical opponents. Airi looked surprised as I drew the weapon, but neither of us had time to ponder my badass qualities.

Airi managed to find the time to squeak, "You know how to _use_ one of those things?"

"Can't live to seventeen not knowing how to use one." I replied quickly.

The Auto-Tech hopped back into the office, its two legs suctioning on the remaining glass above the computers of the room divider. I aimed fro the main console above the circular processor, hitting it in the center of the half-circle core area. I'd studied blueprints of the original models from T.C. and determined the models were the same in recent models.

It fell to the floor and began to jump up again but never got the chance. I shot it another three times in the main unit, knowing I was being wasteful, but figured I'd be able to get a different weapon from Ormus once I ran out of ammo. I reached out and pulled Airi to her feet, quickly grabbing my backpack and reloading my pistol.

"Is it dead?" She asked attentively, pointing at the Auto-Tech.

"Should be." I replied. "I hate to leave KOS-MOS alone at a time like this, but we need info. Though I never thought I'd say this, we need to find Midori."

"Wait! You're hurt, shouldn't we-"

"I'm fine for now." I replied truthfully, not wanting to dwell on the topic of injuries for too long. Thinking of them tended to make the pain more distracting.

She nodded, still looking afraid and followed me to the hole the Auto-Tech created. It was about four feet wide and probably three high. The metal was torn up, though the worst of the pointed outward. I was careful as I hoisted myself forward not to worsen my injuries, landing on the floor quietly. Airi followed hesitantly, requiring held not to cut herself in the almost complete dark. There were blue lights along the floor that had remained lit in the main hall.

Another explosion sounded and the ground jolted slightly below out feet. It wasn't as loud as the others, making me guess they'd bombed the other side of the base. I made my way down the hall toward Midori's office when I heard gunshots beyond the closed door to the elevator. I removed my backpack, letting fall to the floor unceremoniously. Airi stepped back, a mixture of surprise at my action and probably wanting to get away.

I rooted through it a few moments, felling disinfectant and the foul-smelling healing cream with nanomachines that'd heal my wounds close to instantly, before feeling the a smooth piece of cold metal. I pulled it out, revealing foot long piece of metal. It was about four inches wide at the very middle, meting into thinner tips. It also got thicker from the tip to the middle.

"What's that?" Airi asked, eyeing the tool strangely.

"An elevator-opener." I answered simply, "I made it myself. It works well on old elevators, but it should work on this one too… I think Rukiro called it the Elevator Opener 2000 for a while."

I nudged the tip in the seem where the doors met, pushing against the one. _This was a lot easier with Rukiro helping…_ I thought and pushed against the metal, leaning my entire weight against it. It gave slightly, allowing me to slide the instrument a little deeper in. I continued to push, feeling my arms begin to shake slightly. I tried leaning harder and it finally gave.

As it did, I was at a few awkward angle and tumbled into the shaft. Luckily, the elevator car was directly in front of the door, about a foot off the floor. I tumbled into the top, managing to hold onto my strange little tool as Airi yelped about if I were alright. I pullet hit the metal about an inch away from my cheek, bend the metal upward. I sat up quickly, shoving my 'Elevator Opener 2000' back in my backpack.

"Hold this." I said to Airi, tossing her the backpack.

She nearly dropped it as she caught it whining, "It's heavy!"

I ignored her comment and picked my pistol up from the floor as another bullet hit came from the opening to the elevator. It arched upward, far from hitting either of us.

"Stop shooting!" I snapped, guessing if the person inside was short he or she wouldn't see who was above. The elevator cars had ten-foot ceilings, leaving a small viewpoint of what's above with one foot visible.

"Hikaru?" I heard Midori call.

"I'm not poking my head in there until you put that thing away." I said as Airi scrambled with my backpack, trying to get it on her back.

"So it is you." She said, her tone regaining calm. I bent down and poked my head in, seeing Midori standing in the corner of the elevator with uncharacteristically large rifle in her left hand. A soldier in an all black uniform laying on the floor, more than five bleeding shots through his back visible.

"I guess you never bothered to learn marksmanship." I mused, pointing at the holes adding, "None of them even came close to his heart. One looks like it went in his liver, one just a little high of a lung, one to the higher reaches of the long intestine, one in his stomach, and if my eyesight is working, you shot him in the ba-"

"Enough!" Midori snapped. "Just because little ruffians like you are familiar with this sort of thing in person doesn't mean we all are!"

"Doesn't change the fact you shot the guy in the balls." I said dryly, imagining Airi

wincing where she stood behind me. "So, what in the hell is going on here?"

"We're being attacked." Midori replied.

"I gathered that. By who?"

"We don't really know, but they're not from Earth." She answered, her enigmatic expression shadowed by the poor lighting.

"Were you able to contact the Dammerung and find out if they know what's going on?"

"No. They seemed to know the layout of the base since they took out main generators and communications centers out first."

"Lovely. Is there an evacuation plan? Is the city being attacked too? Where are be supposed to go?"

"I can't answer that many questions at once." Midori said with a scowl but continued as I rolled my eyes, "Currently, Ormus is creating a counterattack. I went to come find you two before I got information on a evacuation. We need to find the emergency exit and find your father. Now get me out of here!"

"I don't know. It'd be easy to just leave you down there and go."

"Hikari Kamina Uzuki!" Midori yelled, sounding like an angry mother. "Get me out of here this instant."

"Steep over the dead guy and get to the door and we'll try lifting you out. No promises we can though, who knows how much lard is behind those fat-sucking pantyhose."

She glared at me but obeyed. Airi placed my backpack on the floor as I instructed her to grab Midori's left hand. Airi didn't have much strength to offer, and I felt as though I were leaving her up myself.

i _Maybe it's just because this is the first catastrophe since coming to Ormus, /i _I though as I pulled hard on Midori's arm my left knee and arm braced against the edge of the door, i _but I can't help but think how easy this would all be if I was with Rukiro… /i _

Her legs still hung in the elevator, but she managed to scramble up the rest of the way without much help. I guessed scrambling out of an elevator when wearing one of those tight secretary skirts would be tricky.

She got to her feet and brushed her skirt off, getting her first good look at me since we found her.

"What in the hell happened to you?" She snapped, dare I say it; sounding slightly concerned.

"The wounds? An Auto-Tech came to play." She looked like she was about to object to continuing again but I didn't let her get a word in edge wise saying, "You saw the battlefield, right?"

"Yes." She replied reluctantly.

"Is Ormus fighting to destroy the attackers or to hold them back long enough for innocents to escape?"

She looked surprised by my words, making me guess she hadn't let that thought spend much time in her mind. She closed her eyes a moment and let the silence sink in.

"Well?" I asked, not wanting to let go of the adrenaline that was keeping me moving.

"Ormus cannot destroy their fleet." She replied. "We don't have WMDs like they do."

"WMDs?" Airi asked cautiously.

"Weapons of mass destruction." To my horror, Midori and me chorused.

"Oh, right…" Airi said laughing nervously, "I knew that…"

I scooped my backpack up off the ground and extracted a holster from its depths and clipped it to my belt, placing my pistol in it. I started down the hall, Midori and Airi following.

"How many foot soldiers do they have deployed?"

"Over a thousand." Midori replied, "We're evenly matched there; it's their aerial attack that is devastating out forces. Their attack is well coordinated since they sent soldiers in close to this division of the building so they could attack the power controls without endangering their army."

I stopped abruptly, signaling for silence. They both stopped abruptly as I strained to catch the small sound. KOS-MOS' lab wasn't far ahead, and I automatically assumed the worst. I crept forward, catching traces of the conversation. Upon turning the corner down KOS-MOS' hall, Midori and Airi following, I could hear their conversation.

"How are supposed to bring this thing with us? We can't even open the pod never mind lift the android!" A male voice snapped.

"Quiet. I'm trying to hack the controls, that little runt has the protection on KOS-MOS a hundred times thicker than Shion did." A cold male voice replied.

The pitch and eerie familiarity of his voice made me shiver, though the temperature of the building was neutral. I tried remembering where I heard it but a slight headache stopped me when I tried to remember.

I continued forward and signaled for Midori and Airi to stop. I knelt down and peaked over the hole in the door to the familiar office and saw two soldiers in black uniforms standing on either side of KOS-MOS' maintenance bed.

I drew my pistol, and to my body's great objection, stood. The lab blurred before me for a second before I was able to focus again. i _Unless they did their homework, they'll never crack the final password. /i _

"The fool." The second male voice said coldly. "Making the password Yeshua…what was she thinking?"

I shook my head and blinked foolishly, not registering what he'd just said. Only when the lid of KOS-MOS' maintenance bed started to rise did I seal the thought away to be dwelled on later. Cold mist poured onto the floor as her body was revealed. Her frame had been completed long ago and her hair was slowly regaining the blue color. Her face was peaceful; if one didn't knew better, she could be mistaken for a human.

Her attire was simpler than those of previous configurations. A tight white shirt of a smooth synthetic material that lead to the lower reaches of her neck where it was trimmed with black. The shirt was sleeveless and left her arms bare.

She had thin black gloves over her hands, the two gloves ending at her wrists. There was a black band just above the glove where most her weapons were consolidated within. It could be removed, giving her current frame a slightly more human touch.

Separated by a black stripe of black material, her skirt (due to Airi's insistence) continued downward about three inches above her knees. And for old time's safe more than anything else, black knee boots that ended with a slight heel.

The man with the connection gear turned toward KOS-MOS and smirked. His face came into view as he did. A deep fear filled me as coldness swept over my mind. I felt the adrenaline I'd been operating on slip away as I recognized the second red-eyed being I'd heard of; Wilhelm.

"Mary," He began, making the second soldier tense, "awaken for us. You've slept the

longer than either of us."

The light illuminating the lab were an angry red, giving the entire room a demonic feeling. They had changed color when KOS-MOS' maintenance bed opened, though I hadn't noticed at the time.

Though no power reached her mechanical body, she sat up silently. Her long pale blue hair tumbled around her shoulders as she did, though her eyes remained closed.

Wilhelm smirked broadly as she did saying, "That's right, you remember who to follow."

She turned her head to face him and slowly opened her eyes. Her right eye glowed red, reflecting the poor lighting in the room, and the left the same piercing blue as Mary's eyes.

"I…am not Mary." She said calmly, eyes meeting his.

Wilhelm stepped back, clearly startled by the android's eye color and words. The other soldier lifted his rifle, though before he got the chance to shoot KOS-MOS grabbed the silver barrel of his weapon and jerked it upward. He barely held on to it when she did nut instantly let go when two silent silver bullets shot silently from the band on her right wrist.

Her eyes never left Wilhelm's as the soldier fell to the ground. She dropped his weapon and hung her legs over the side of the maintenance bed and stood, Wilhelm besting her in height by more than six inches.

"You say you are not Mary," He started, his expression tense and worried, "but your expression matches her own perfectly. If you wish not to be as Mary, then let go of the hate she regarded me with."

"I have no reason to assist you." She said calmly, her expression cold, "If it weren't for you we may not stand here in a broken world."

He sneered at her saying, "Broken for you, at least. For me it's a world full of opportunity to take under control. You know about order arising from chaos."

"No order came when you killed him." She said with finality, the pale blue shimmering form of a blade extending from her right arm. Wilhelm jumped to the side of her blade and managed to duck her secondary attack. Glass crunched below their feet as they moved.

"I didn't expect you to be aware of that." Wilhelm replied quickly, avoiding another of her attacks but cutting his hand on a piece of glass on the floor. A drip of blood hit the floor as he stood adding, "When did he ever find the time to tell you that?"

"He did not need to." She replied promptly, leaning over the open maintenance bed to swiftly slash a wound in his chest.

He stumbled backward, blood smattering over the floor. Whatever protective gear was in his black uniform didn't do him very much against KOS-MOS' blade.

I had been mesmerized by the events, feeling vaguely proud of KOS-MOS' executioner-like skills but wondering if it was real all at the same time. I hadn't been paying much mind to my

surroundings, but I heard a shuffling of feet and a curse from the edge of the hall.

"Hikaru!" Airi shrieked, the large hand of an enemy soldier covering her mouth once more. Midori was struggling against the soldier that had grabbed her, though neither of them were able to put up much of a fight.

I turned around quickly when I heard breathing, but before I was able to react I was jerked upward. The arm of a male soldier hooked around my waist and jerked me effortlessly off the floor. I was unsuspecting and letting pain get the better of me as he did, barely being able to struggle.

He grabbed my right arm just past my elbow and jerked my arm above my head and backward. I felt a gasp escape my throat as his bruising grip restrained me, limply pulling the trigger of my pistol without knowing where it pointed. I dropped it immediately afterward, grimly guessing it had missed. He let go of my right arm and wrapped it around the tender bicep of my left arm where the glass had pierced it.

My vision went black and I felt a extreme heat near my right cheek and an abrupt jolt of pain before my mind followed my senses in peaceful darkness.


	9. Interlude: Beach of Nothingness

Final Hikari here! I was working on my Valkyrie Profile fan fiction and opened the dictionary on Microsoft Works Word Processor and was surprised to see "seraphic" was in my spell checker. I looked at the surronding words and it had seraphim, and I came across an interesting bit of information! The description of Seraphim was as followed:

ser·aph

n

angel: an angel of the highest rank in the traditional medieval hierarchy of nine categories of angels. In the Book of Isaiah they are described as having six wings.

Who remembers the picture of chaos from Episode I with the _six_ wings? On the picture of chaos on the inside cover of the Episode II guide I think he has six wings too. Hmm…Episode III is by absolute favorite game but I keep feeling chaos didn't get much attention or any confusion-provoking art.

But as a part time chaos fan girl I feel happy to have noticed that. XD Okay, now for the chapter… Yeah, chaos finally makes a real appearance…

Xenosaga IV

Chapter 9

Interlude: Beach of Nothingness

_"Ever since I existed…my power of Anima has caused the universe to tread the path toward destruction." A male voice echoed through the silence. My eyes wouldn't open as I listened to the conversation._

_"Your power of Anima?" A female voice asked in a mixture of surprise and wariness._

_"To prevent the destruction of the universe…and to save me…Mary separated the power of Anima into the vessels and sealed them. Costing her life. Sealed by her, I lost my power and became a spectator. All this time, I didn't know what the meaning of what Anima held or why I had it. But now I finally know what it means for me to finally use this power. You taught me that." He added, his tone softening slightly from the grimness in his voice when talking about Mary._

_"chaos…" The same female voice trailed off._

_Though my eyelids were closed I could tell the world around me was brightening._

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I felt damp sand against my cheek and hands as I opened my eyes. The air was warm and moist with the quiet crashing of small waves easily heard. I sat up and looked around to see where I was, dusting the sand off my clothes.

White sand stretched out in all directions. The water seemed endless and while darker than the sand, didn't seem blue at all. The sky was white with a slight tan hue, giving the water an almost gray quality. The wispy clouds were a pure white. I turned around to see a cliff on the distant side of the beach, also white with shades of gray.

I looked toward the water again and felt strangely empty. Seemingly endless water stretched toward the horizon. Despite the nothingness filling me I continued to stare toward the horizon. It was the first time I could remember thoughts didn't cross my mind. Even if I was focused, there was always a random thought or worry popping up somewhere. It often cost me lots of sleep, but stopping myself from thinking was always a difficulty.

It was strangely peaceful. The quietness was a heavy contrast to what I was usually exposed to, but not entirely bad. It nearly felt…good. Not having to worry about anything or anybody didn't feel wrong or forced.

"Pretty desolate here, isn't it?" A familiar male voice asked, breaking the trance.

I blinked and turned around quickly toward the cliff were a single person stood. Very far from how I'd pictured him, stood Yeshua. I hadn't seen him in any of the visions I'd had from the time shortly before KOS-MOS died and I hadn't imagined him in modern attire.

"Yeshua?" I asked hollowly.

"It's almost strange to be called that again." He said calmly, walking forward and sitting down next to me.

"Uh…right. You went by 'chaos' for awhile, right? Any reason you didn't ever capitalize it?"

He smiled slightly, his eyes never leaving the horizon. "It's not an actual name; there wasn't much point in capitalizing it."

"Where are we?"

"It _was_ a costal beach. Now it's a shadow of a memory immortalized in the minds of people who have connections to U-DO."

"So poetic. What the hell does it mean?"

"Both Mary, Shion, Wilhelm, and myself have memories connecting to this place. Above the cliffs are fields of cosmos flowers. Mary liked it here and also sealed my power here. Shion was the reincarnation Mary's closest friend. Wilhelm killed the previous Shion and myself here."

"Those aren't exactly nice memories."

"I never said they were."

"That's all well and wonderful, but that doesn't explain how I ended up here."

"It became a domain of U-DO, so anybody with strong connections to U-DO can end up here. The powers of Anima and Animus both come from U-DO, and since Mary, Wilhelm, and myself have strong connections to U-DO our consciousnesses return to this place."

"Alright, I think I got it…" I paused, "So it's a memory that became an actual location."

He smiled slightly at the simple way I put it saying, "That'll work."

"And since I'm here, that means I have a connection to U-DO."

"Right. Just like Aoi, Shion, Inara, and your father."

"My _father _has it?" I asked sharply.

"You sound surprised." He said thoughtfully, "He's worked to strengthen his connection to U-DO, so he probably requested you to come to Ormus because it's going to kill him."

I was silent a long moment before dismissing the thoughts of my father asking, "So KOS-MOS is going to kill me."

"Indirectly, yes. Didn't you want to establish a connection to U-DO to learn about U-DO, the Zohar, and Mary?"

"Yeah…but I suppose I didn't spend enough time thinking of the consequences. Is that connection giving me all those flashbacks and making me pass out all the time?"

"I've been showing you those memories by manipulating the power of this place."

"But what about the memories that come only when I pass out?"

"Those, I couldn't be sure. It's probably Wilhelm or even Shion."

"It…couldn't be Mary?" I asked tentatively.

"I doubt it, but anything's possible with her and KOS-MOS. At this point, I'd imagine you know the most about their connection."

"Her left eyes was blue." I added simply.

"Who woke up?" He asked, his tone flat.

"KOS-MOS did." I replied, "Not Mary."

He nodded, his expression never changing.

_Glad I didn't tell him the first thing she said was that she wasn't Mary…_

"You'd better leave." He said and stood.

"How?" I asked, getting to my feet.

"She should be calling you back anytime now."

"Huh?" I said with a scowl, though a moment later a loud voice filled my mind.

I winced as the voice got louder. What she was saying became audible quickly, and accompanied by a hysterical Airi I'd never hated hearing my name more.

_Why does Airi shriek so much…?_ I thought as the beach disappeared.


	10. Soon Is Now…But You’re Not Really Here

Final Hikari here! I was working on my Valkyrie Profile fan fiction and opened the dictionary on Microsoft Works Word Processor and was surprised to see "seraphic" was in my spell checker. I looked at the surrounding words and it had seraphim, and I came across an interesting bit of information! The description of Seraphim was as followed:

ser·aph

n

angel: an angel of the highest rank in the traditional medieval hierarchy of nine categories of angels. In the Book of Isaiah they are described as having six wings.

Who remembers the picture of chaos from Episode I with the _six_ wings? On the picture of chaos on the inside cover of the Episode II guide I think he has six wings too. Hmm…Episode III is by absolute favorite game but I keep feeling chaos didn't get much attention or any confusion-provoking art.

But as a part time chaos fan girl I feel happy to have noticed that. XD Okay, now for the chapter… Yeah, chaos finally made a real appearance in the last chapter…

Also, this chapter goes to FullMetal909! Thanks so much for all your encouraging reviews!

_Xenosaga IV_

_Chapter 10_

_Soon Is Now…But You're Not Really Here_

I hadn't noticed I hadn't been on pain on the beach. When a wave of pain hit me in a barely-conscious stupor I _really_ noticed. I could still here Airi's shrieking, KOS-MOS' slightly worried tone; the only addition was Midori talking in the background.

I opened my eyes slowly, greeted by Airi pouncing forward and enveloping me in a hug. My vision start to clear after the initial pang of agony she sent over my body from the hug. KOS-MOS was kneeling beside me and smiled, looking revealed. We were in KOS-MOS' lab and I was sitting in the corner near the door.

Midori was standing near Airi's decimated computer terminal. Not only were they a few huge scratches and shattered glass everywhere, but at some point during a fight the metal below where the holographic keyboard was produced, there was a huge hole ripped into the unit. It was easy to see it would never function again. Midori had her connection gear out and was now repeating "yes sir" and few other things as my father's voice could be heard over the sound of gunshots in the distance.

I smiled drowsily at the android saying, "Good morning, KOS-MOS."

She looked surprised before returning the smile saying, "Good morning, Hikaru."

Airi removed herself as Midori hung up and turned to us saying, "We're to evacuate to the Dammerung."

"What?" I snapped, my focus getting a little closer to reality.

"They're just outside Earth's gravitational pull. We have ten shuttles ready for use and a large cargo ship that will evacuate the city."

"Who's attacking us?" I asked, pain screaming in my head as I tried to bring my thoughts to order.

"According to the insignia on their ships, it's the U-TIC Organization." KOS-MOS explained. "They used to support Ormus, but now that it has been in the hands of Uzukis for nearly two generations, it makes sense they feel no need to ally themselves again."

"What's the status of the city?" I asked.

"They're just starting to attack the Forth District." Midori replied. "The evacuation started when the attack on Ormus began. The Forth District's survivors should be getting ready to board the ship.

"Shit…" I muttered to myself. "Why Forth District…?"

I grabbed the edge of the console with my injured left arm to pull myself to my feet, but not only did my arm go limp when I tried to use any muscle, KOS-MOS gently pulled my arm away.

"Hikaru, you're hurt!" Airi objected, "And when that soldier dropped you, you hit the floor really hard. You could have a concussion!"

"I probably do." I said simply, trying to remember the signs of a concussion but promptly failing. _The irony…I'd say that's a concussion._

I was vaguely aware of Airi rubbing a familiar, thick cream over my numerous scratches that would disinfect them and temporarily stop the bleeding.

"I need to know of Rukiro's okay." I started, "We both lived in the Forth District."

Midori and Airi exchanged unhappy looks, though Midori's was irritation rather than concern. Airi turned to face me again, biting her lip as she did.

KOS-MOS leaned forward, pulling my right arm over her shoulder and hooking her other arm around my waist, gently pulling me to my feet. The height contrast wasn't too bad and I practically leaning my full weight against her.

"Hikaru and me shall go to the evacuation center while you progress to the shuttles for the crew. Do not wait for us, worst case of scenario I will make sure they both board one of the shuttles meant for the civilians."

"Those shuttles won't get priority." Midori said curtly.

"I'm sure we could alert the Dammerung of the change in plans." KOS-MOS stated simply. "Or does such a request fall out of the range of abilities one in your status is allowed to make?"

Midori looked like she was sucking a lemon at the android's insult masked in polite banter and large words.

"Well," She huffed, "I will contract Chief Uzuki and arrange it that way. How about you try doing your part of the job so that doesn't have to happen?"

"I intend to." KOS-MOS replied simply as turned, leading me through the door.

"Midori's a bitch, eh?" I asked quietly once we were out of earshot.

KOS-MOS smiled slightly saying, "She reminds me of a few people I disliked."

I was curious to know if it was KOS-MOS or Mary that disliked the unnamed people, but I didn't know how much of Mary's memories KOS-MOS held. It was a complex question and fragile matter. I doubted having any memories from another person in your mind would be cheerfully discussed.

_Especially if you're always greeted with disappointment when you explain you aren't that person…_

Despite how little exertion I was getting was, I felt my lightheadedness and overall weakness increasing. KOS-MOS noticed the speed of my breathing and promptly scooped me up, her left arm under my knees and right behind my shoulders.

"I'd imagine this would look strange to anybody who thought you were human."

"Probably, but Shion passed out a lot so it's not all that unusual for me."

"Who's heaver, me or her?" I asked randomly, not giving my words much though.

"Shion was eight and three-eights heavier than you." KOS-MOS said in a very, '_yep, she has a concussion all right…I suppose I'll just go along with her little delusions.' _sort of tone.

We continued through the halls in silence. There was notable damage in many places, everything from bullet holes, bodies, shells, and other metal debris. The bodies were mainly soldiers from Ormus' army or U-TIC's invading forces. There were a few researchers and even two dead civilians from the city as we got closer to the evacuation center.

To my surprise, the evacuation center was outdoors. KOS-MOS had kicked the unresponsive automatic door off its tracks and it fell outward with a crash. I blinked up at the night sky, unhappy to see large red lights over the forests that stretched past the large landing area. There were lines of ammo and torpedoes passing overhead and numerous human-piloted A.G.W.S. I had remembered reading about Ormus' laser cannons in the forest near the base but seeing the large cylindrical beams of white light firing upward confirmed their existence.

The area was like parking lot on steroids. It was all paved and small square escape pods were launching from the seemingly endless lines of them off to the right. The rest of the base was filled with panicky civilians, many injured, being pushed into lines for the pods by all different types of Ormus workers.

The matter should have been handled by Ormus' security unit, but it looked like most of them had been forced into the platoons of foot soldiers. There were mechanics, computer technicians, doctors, nurses, and even a few low-level pilots guiding the people to the escape pods and making sure none were overloaded.

"Put me down." I requested, KOS-MOS obliging wordlessly.

I scanned the crowd of hundreds of people unhappily, a feeling of futility washing over me. There was no way to spot one single person in the mess of bodies before me. KOS-MOS didn't look as crestfallen though.

"What part of the Forth District did Rukiro live in? My database indicates those who lived on the outskirts of the area will be boarding sooner than those from the center. The edge of Forth District that lead to the ocean was attacked and the survivors are toward the front of the lines."

"Both Rukiro and me lived on the edge." I relied grimly.

KOS-MOS looked lightly deterred but didn't give up. She scooped me up once more, to my slight objection, and hurried over to the lines of escape pods. We stood by the first line of pods closer to the wall of the Ormus building, not far from the door we'd exited from.

I scanned the lines of people in the fronts of the ten lines unhopefully. A young man in a trainee pilot uniform hurried over to the eleventh line of escape pods and signaled for some of the people to create another line. Civilians reacted quickly as he pulled the door of the shuttle open and ushered eight passengers in.

The pod activated and hovered a few feet off the ground and glided over to the launching runway. The line progressed further to the pod that rested behind the one that had taken off and three people hurried on, but one dwelled to ask the guard a question.

I barely wanted to believe my eyes, a relieved smile that didn't fit the situation around me spreading across my face. KOS-MOS saw where I was looking and let me hop out of her arms as I hurried through the lines of people. Many of them yelled or swore at me as I pushed through the lines, but I didn't pay much attention them. I barely felt the numerous scratches I'd sustained from my battle earlier.

"Look, I don't have any means right now to get the status of other Ormus employees!" The trainee pilot said, holding his hands up in defense. "Now please get in the shuttle, only more

people are getting here."

"She's Arku Uzuki's daughter, surely you could find out!" Rukiro argued.

"Rukiro!" I called loudly.

He looked up quickly, his eyes meeting mine in seconds. I hurried forward, flinging my arms around his neck. I relaxed as I felt his arms around my waist and let my body's great objection to running rush over me and went limp as he gently guided me out of line so the other people in the line could enter the shuttle. My knees liquefied under me and I smiled peacefully and let the darkness overtake my mind.

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Rukiro blinked in confusion as Hikaru collapsed and he gently lowered her to the ground. Deepening the annoyance of the same people Hikaru had pushed though, I followed the same path without much regard to their displeasure.

"She'll be fine." I said, passing in front of the baffled trainee pilot. "Her wounds have received basic treatment so she only passed out from blood loss and exhaustion."

For a brief moment Rukiro looked nearly as confused at the trainee pilot.

"KOS-MOS?"

I nodded saying, "Correct. I haven't been awake for very long. Please take Hikaru and leave on the next escape pod."

"What happened though?" He asked, gently scooping Hikaru up in the same position I'd carried her before. "I mean, to make you awaken."

"I'm sure Hikaru will tell you everything when she wakes up." I said flatly, holding my arm in front of the third person about to board the escape pod. Rukiro didn't look satisfied with my answer but entered the small pod.

"Exactly who are you?" The pilot trainee asked abruptly, spreading his arms out before me to stop me from entering.

"Eleutherios KOS-MOS." I replied simply. "Weapons android resigned by Hikaru Uzuki. If there are no defects in your vision you juts saw with her beau."

"_That's_ the Commander's daughter?" He asked, lowering his arms and turning around to glance within the pod.

"Correct." I said, grabbing the young pilot by the back of his shirt and pushing him forward. "You go too."

"Wait a moment--ah!"

He tumbled forward and onto the floor of the pod as I closed the door and entered the code for it to launch on the control panel below the handle. He didn't have time to object or even get back to his feet before I'd entered the launch code. The pod began to hover and slid toward the launching strip.

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_"Don't worry. When we disappear the speed of this universe's destruction will slow down. But we can't stop the destruction itself. At best, this universe will last another few tens of thousands of years before it perishes. Listen to me Shion. The key to saving all that lies in the land of origin, Lost Jerusalem. I, and the Gnosis, and the wills of countless people will al return there. For mankind to survive, you must do what must be done in this universe…and then come find Lost Jerusalem. Shion, I know you and the others can do that."_

_Shion looked a little confused at the information she'd just been given, but dismissed it for the time being. She stepped forward, and looked into KOS-MOS' eyes with a mixture of sadness and resolve._

_"Here you are." She started, "After all this time I finally found the real you. And now, we are going to be apart, again."_

_KOS-MOS brushed her hand against Shion's cheek saying, "The time we'll spend apart will be an instant in the flow of universal time. I know…" She trialed off, closing her eyes, "we'll meet again. So please don't be sad." KOS-MOS added, although she herself looked to be getting emotional, "Shion…"_

_Shion smiled and placed her hand over KOS-MOS' saying, "That's unusually vague coming from you, KOS-MOS." Shion intertwined her fingers in KOS-MOS' and laughed a little._

_"I think it is the most natural thing for me to say. That too, is because of you." KOS-MOS said kindly. "Shion, thank you."_

_"No." Shion said, "Thank you for everything. You've given me so much, KOS-MOS."_

_KOS-MOS smiled saying, "I'll see you soon."_

_"Yeah, see you soon." Shion said, hugging KOS-MOS._


	11. Bleeding Fourteen

Final Hikari: Please fans, don't murder me! I have no excuse for why I haven't updated as my schedule is the anti-existence of time-taxing. No…I haven't updated my Valkyrie Profile fics in a while either, but that's a story for another day…

Anyway, if you have any suggestions for possible names for Shion's previous incarnation from the ancient times of Lost Jerusalem, I am up for assistance! I never do normal names (as you can see) but the only names from way back then in the Xenoverse from back then are Yeshua, Mary, and Wilhelm and I don't think I can go for something Japanesey for Shion. So, if you have any suggestions for a name you think is fitting for Shion or is an old-fashioned name that isn't too boring, please mention it in a review!

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_Xenosaga IV_

_Chapter 11_

_Bleeding Fourteen_

_Where am I?_ The thought pierced though my semiconscious state. I felt as though I was being crush from all sides. I couldn't open my eyes or move my body. I felt like I was falling deeper and deeper into water, but the feeling of the interminable area was much more intimidating than that.

My lungs began to burn for air and despite the growing pressure I managed to suck in a mouthful of…something. It burned my mouth and lungs and felt thicker than air. I started coughing abruptly and attempted struggling against the force that was pulling me down.

"Uzuki, is this what you wanted?" A voice echoed, a jolt of pain spreading though my mind.

_Who are you?_ I wondered, unable to speak.

"Your connection with U-DO has been completed." The voice said firmly, my head filling with pain as his voice continued, "KOS-MOS is going to kill you swiftly if you continue to walk this road."

_Stop talking…it's too painful._

"Mary could help you. Bring back Mary. You have opportunity."

_Stop…_

"She can heal you."

_Your lying!_ I thought coldly, his sorter sentences allowing the pain to fade long enough for me to think. _Mary Magdalene is dead._

"You can change that. If you give up on protecting that empty husk you believe has an actual consciousness, you don't have to sacrifice yourself for a futile movement."

_Liar…_ I thought fleetingly. His voice filled my mind once more but the pain stopped be from understanding his words. I hadn't been able to discern who the voice belonged to from the start because of the distraction of the pain.

_Your doing this on purpose…_

Suddenly the pressure of the atmosphere disappeared and I gasped for breath, clawing the ground below my fingers convulsively as the pain increased. I felt a scream piece the empty air but it was distant. It didn't feel like it was coming from me. The distance disappeared suddenly as I felt a very real hand wrap around mine and pull me forward.

The pain faded abruptly and I sat bolt upright, feeling unable to catch my breath again though the hindrance was gone. I looked up to see where I was, a chill running up my spine with recognition. The appearance of Mary Magdalene's tomb in its early days of existence were certainly familiar to me. My throat felt slightly raw, randomly confirming it had been me screaming. I stared at my hand a moment and tried to control the shaking.

"I'm sorry that had to happen." A soft voice echoed.

I looked up abruptly, my eyes widening at the person standing before me. Her expression was calm though her blue eyes were sad. It was a haunting kind of recognition that filled me upon seeing her. She looked _exactly_ like KOS-MOS. They had the same height and

build, by the look of it.

Mary's skin was much darker than KOS-MOS', one of the clearest direct contrasts. Her hair was black whereas KOS-MOS' was an extremely pale. That opposite was recently created; from old pictures and videos, I knew KOS-MOS' hair had been a brilliant blue earlier in life.

Mary's old-fashioned attire was the final difference between her and KOS-MOS. I was nearly illiterate when it came to knowing the names of old fashioned garments. Her long-sleeved blue dress was nearly the same color as random parts of KOS-MOS' previous attires in different configurations.

I could suddenly understand why seeing KOS-MOS could make anybody who knew Mary forlorn. For me it was the opposite way of how Yeshua must have felt; I was unnerved at seeing a human that could be the reflection of my android.

"Mary?" I asked stupidly, all ready knowing it was her. "What…where are we?"

"A dream, if you will. It's the same as the place you were before. Only Wilhelm created that dream world and pulled you in. I created this one since he was tormenting you so."

"That's it? Surely it's a little more sophisticated than a simple dream."

Mary smiled slightly saying, "Well, it hasn't been immortalized by U-DO like Beach of Nothingness."

"Bright, cheery name that place has." I said, getting to my feet.

"I am glad to know you reawakened KOS-MOS. You will need Anima and Animus to resolve this."

"Wilhelm…he said KOS-MOS has slept the longest, and I think Yeshua has already been reincarnated. Why weren't you?"

"I knowingly sacrificed myself." She replied simply. "I cannot be reincarnated."

"So there was never hope if truly bring you back through KOS-MOS and T-elos?"

"No." She replied, her tone stoic as KOS-MOS' upon first awakening over a hundred years ago. "Wilhelm doesn't believe the will can be separated from the consciousness. He cannot accept the fact I cannot return to Lost Jerusalem."

"Do you…" I paused, "Know why the Beach of Nothingness was immortalized?"

"Didn't Yeshua bring you there?" She asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

"Yes, but his explanation seemed too simple."

"That field is where I sealed Yeshua's power of Anima. We…also spent much time there together. Wilhelm also murdered Shion's original persona there along with Yeshua."

"What happened to Shion, anyway? Was she reincarnated?"

Mary smirked slightly asking, "You don't know?"

"You mean I know her?"

"You might." Mary said knowingly, looking as though she was enjoying this. She turned around and walked off the small path and around the edges of the upper line of graves. "Want to guess who she is?"

"Please don't say Takyuki."

"Ugh, is that the first thing that came to mind for you?" She asked dryly, stopping at the corner of the room to give me a slightly disturbed but questioning look.

"Well, I don't know much about Shion but they seem to be emotional and…behavioral opposites, so I just wanted to make sure."

"Right." She said, drawing out the word as she continued to strut down the lines of graves side-ways against the far wall.

"Wait a second, how do you even know about Takyuki?

She snorted saying, "That's far too complex for you to understand if you're still confused about the Beach of Nothingness. Now keep guessing."

I scowled slightly and wanted to defend my intelligence, but my curiosity was stronger than the determination to argue.

"Midori?"

"Nope."

"…Airi?"

"No."

"The person is female, right?"

"What, were you going to ask if she was reincarnated as a man?" Mary asked

inquisitively.

"I'm not an expert in reincarnation, give me a break! That _is_ impossible, right?"

"What a lovely illusion! Shion Uzuki of the KOS-MOS project, infamous researcher and 'Flower of the First Division' reincarnated as a fat middle-aged man with STDs." She replied airily, waving her hand in the air for sarcastic emphasis.

"They don't _start_ middle aged and fat." I grumbled, feeling foolish and inwardly reminded myself to type a big capitalized "duh" as my screen name next time I went online. "And isn't that abbreviation a little past your day?"

"Maybe." She replied airily. "Give up?"

"Yes, I give up…" I sighed.

"The reincarnation of Shion Uzuki you know is dead. How's that for a hint?"

"Not very descriptive, seeing as countless people died tonight and are still dying."

"She loved the reading and learning about her heritage and family bloodline."

"When'd she die? Does she have a current reincarnation I don't know about?"

"Well," Mary said thoughtfully, "the reincarnation you knew died many years ago. She loved light and flew too close to the sun."

My frustration melted away slightly and I didn't bother to stop Mary from seeing my expression change from irritation to apprehension.

"Did…she die fourteen years ago?"

Mary stood directly across from me by then looked to the floor for a long moment. She then turned to face me and smiled sadly in reply. I saw whiteness curl around the edges of my vision. I turned around abruptly to see the wall of the tomb was gone. I was half turned around to see if Mary still stood beyond the graves but the whiteness overtook my mind before I got the chance.

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"Hey, I don't think we're on course anymore." A unfamiliar voice rang out through the silence that filled my subconscious.

I blinked sleepily, my vision taking a few moments to clear. I was sitting beside Rukiro, my head resting against his shoulder and his arm around my shoulders. The person who had spoken was the trainee pilot I'd seen before guiding civilians into the shuttles.

"I bet it was that android." He added sourly.

"Leave KOS-MOS out of it, she wouldn't do anything to put Hikaru in danger." Rukiro said irritably.

"Where are we?" I muttered, lifting my head from Rukiro's shoulder.

"Ah, you're awake!" Rukiro said, brightening slightly.

The trainee pilot scoffed saying, "Took you long enough. Any idea where that android sent us?"

"Shut up with that." Rukiro growled, glaring at the pilot briefly.

We were in one of the escape pods, the area inside simple. There were two benches on the sides and a computer console in the front. There were rectangular windows above the benches that allowed us to see out. In this case, a sea of endless stars stretched past the windows.

Across from us three people sat. One was the irritable pilot and two other civilians. The trainee pilot had black hair ending not far past his years and piercing amber. He looked to be older than both me and Rukiro but no older than twenty-five. He wore the plain black and white Ormus trainee uniform.

The two people sitting beside him on the opposite edge of the bench closer to the entrance hatch were both female. One had long brown hair and wore a school uniform, the other with a poor blond dye job. It looked like she was trying to let it grow out because the roots were brown and there were numerous brown streaks throughout the mess.

The girl with a poor dye job maintained the appearance of a school slut through her attire. She wore a pink mini-skirt and black high-healed shoes that consisted of straps around her feet and ankles. Her shirt was white and sleeveless, but probably revealed a fair portion of her midriff in the most positions. She sat with her arms folded in front of her chest and stomach, staring at the floor dismally.

The girl in the school uniform was close to being the identical twin to the scantly dressed girl beside her. They even had the same dark green eyes. The one in the school uniform had glasses with thin triangular lenses and dark metal rims around them to distract from their identical eyes. Her uniform consisted of a black pleated skirt, white knee socks, and a white and black long-sleeved jacket. Their attires stood out to be because they contracted each other with such force for their faces to be identical.

"Are you really Hikaru Uzuki?" The black haired girl asked, no fear or apprehension showing her eyes as they connected with mine.

"Yes." I replied, "Daughter of Arku Uzuki of Ormus and great granddaughter of Shion Uzuki of T.C."

She nodded asking, "Does that mean you know what's happening to Earth?"

"I don't know the details, but I do know we're being attacked by the U-TIC Organization." I said, deciding the information wouldn't stay classified for long.

"I am-" The girl in the school uniform started and stood up, her hand extended.

"Don't talk to her." Her sister said shrilly.

She looked down at her sister, her expression flat, then turned back to me saying. "Nanami Zorion. This is my sister, Sayuri Zorion. It's an honor to meet you."

"No it isn't." Sayuri said, her voice cracking. She looked up at me, tears streaking down her face as she added, "You're a freak! It's all your fault Earth is being attacked! If it weren't for Ormus we'd never of been attacked!"

"Sayuri." Nanami said firmly. "Quiet yourself, you're being rude and talking in circles."

She sniffed and buried her face in her hands, continuing to sob quietly.

"You're the reason everything was destroyed…"

Nanami sat down beside her sister once more saying, "Sorry about her. We were decorating the gym at our school for a dance when we were attacked. The building was destroyed and many of our classmates killed."

"Don't make it like it's nothing!" Sayuri howled.

"For the love of crap, shut up all ready…" The trainee pilot sighed. "I'm not going to put up with some sobbing schoolgirl for however many hours we're stuck in here."

She yelled some sort of obscenity at him and my negative thoughts on his bad attitude were distracted by Sayuri. I almost agreed with him.

"You never introduced yourself." I said, my words directed at the pilot. To some degree I was suffering from culture shock. It was amazing how a rude pilot, stoic geek, and sobbing slut could completely divert one's thoughts from battle androids and reincarnated gods.

He glanced up saying, "Kain Lansent. I'm in training to pilot A.M.W.S."

"How'd you get on evacuation crew, then?" Rukiro asked dryly. "Were you that useless as an actual pilot?"

Kain glared at Rukiro plaintively saying, "None of yer damn business."

"Miss Uzuki," Nanami began, "Do you know of the name Magdalene?"


	12. Forsake Me

_Xenosaga IV_

_Chapter 12_

_Forsake Me_

"Miss Uzuki," Nanami began, "Do you know of the name Magdalene?"

"Where'd you hear that?" I asked abruptly, completely distracted from my previous train of thought.

"The soldiers." Nanami replied. "They were calling their mission the 'Magdalene Retrieval Operation.' Is that the name of something in Ormus?"

"She doesn't have to tell you that." Rukiro said stubbornly.

"Magdalene is the name of a project within Ormus." I replied.

"There's no weapon in Ormus named Magdalene." Kain cut in rudely. "If there was I'd know about it, I've got family in high places in the Ormus organization."

"Was your mother the Green Leech or something?" I asked, my temper shortening at his continual rudeness.

"Who?" He asked flatly.

"Never mind." I said as a headache started making its presence known.

"The organization we're being attacked by," Nanami continued, "Were they an enemy of the original Ormus?"

"No." I replied. "Well, not in the end."

Nanami nodded before asking, "That woman who shoved Mr. Lansent in the shuttle, was she human?"

"Sorry, but I'm not authorized to share that information with civilians."

She nodded but her sister who had been sobbing quietly until then decided to take it upon her self to join the conversation again.

"No authorization?" Sayuri snapped, her voice unbalanced and cracking on every other syllable. "It's your damn fault we were attacked, we should have the right to know why! Nobody will let you keep what Magdalene is a secret once we're back on Earth."

Before another argument ensued a holographic screen came up in front of the computer console on the front wall of the escape pod. I blinked at long string of numbers that was the address it was coming from, knowing in a moment it wasn't from Ormus.

"Now what in the hell is that?" Sayuri said angrily.

I resisted the temptation to yell at her to shut up, but figuring that'd make my headache worse than just listening to her yelling, I ignored her and stood up. I walked over to the console and accepted the link.

"That's not from Ormus." Kain cut in, after I'd accept it.

The only message where the video feed should have been only said 'no visual feed available' in capital, block letters.

"Hikaru Uzuki," A hauntingly familiar voice filled the small escape pod, "I presume you're conscious."

"Who in the hell are you?" I asked coldly, wondering if he'd answer truthfully.

"My name? I have no reason to give it to you."

I pursed my lips saying, "Whatever, Wilhelm."

He chuckled coldly saying, "Good enough. You're being redirected to U-TIC's main battleship. We hope you'll cooperate and tell us where to find Mary. We have another project for you to work on, too."

"Is that really the only reason you attacked Lost Jerusalem?" I snapped, the ancient term coming to mind first.

"There were others but you don't need to know. You've just entered the ship's main shield and will be pulled into dock shortly. You're too late to try hacking the system. Good day."

"Wait!" I said abruptly, but the screen went dark. I swore softly and collapsed down on the bench, my headache getting worse by the moment. There was a sudden jolt and when I looked up I saw white metal not far from the window of the ship.

"We're being taken into an enemy ship?" Kain asked sharply.

"Yes." I sighed.

"You seem pretty calm seeing as they could just shoot us all down if they wanted to." He retorted.

Rukiro looked as though he were about to defend me again, but I placed my hand over his as the door to the escape pod was pulled open. The soldier's uniform was all black like the ones of the ground soldiers that were on Earth, complete with thick black goggles covering their eyes and upturned collars that cloak nearly all facial features.

Two male guards filed in followed by a female guard. She stopped in the center of the room and removed her goggles, revealing dark brown eyes. She held her rifle in her left hand and leaned the barrel against her shoulder calmly as she surveyed our small group.

"Hikaru Uzuki and Rukiro Kukai, correct?" She asked flatly, looking at me then Kain.

"_I'm_ Rukiro Kukai." Rukiro said as the one male soldier redirected the aim of his gun from Kain to Rukiro.

"Mmm, right." She said dismissively.

"What should we do with these three?" The one male guard asked.

"Bring them along for now. He might not want them dead."

The soldiers nodded and one pulled Rukiro up and wrestled his hands behind his back before pushing him out. The other soldier did the same to Kain whereas the female soldier motioned with her rifle for Nanami, Sayuri, and me to follow. Nanami pulled Sayuri along and I followed them out. Six other armed guards waited on the metal catwalk and walked on either side of our group.

Rukiro glanced back a few times to see if I was alright, though we only make eye contact once. It didn't help I was distracted by the magnitude of the docking area we'd entered. The room had a hemispherical roof and countless floors of docking ships of all sizes below and above us. Guards, researchers, and even a few people that looked like civilians were walking around, many in a hurry. Small shuttles, snipers, and even a few large transport ships were docked. It was hard to see the very bottom, though there seemed to be a few of the battleships that attacked the Ormus HQ in the lowest regions.

The area was brightly lit from dark blue lights along the floor against the wall and larger lights mounted in the top of the hemispherical ceiling. I inwardly noticed by what was visible of the roof that it was black, whereas the rest of the walls were white.

We were lead from the busy dock to a hallway that was so plain, it gave the designer of Ormus' HQ a run for his or her money. They were all white with white lights I along the ceiling. There was a slight chance I simply wasn't comprehending much color thanks to my concussion, but I hoped it wouldn't have effected me so strongly. Strangely, every hall they lead us down was vacant.

I was starting to get a headache from walking and dizziness was setting in. Once I'd decided it was a good thing there weren't any other people or loud noises we entered large elevator that was the size of my bedroom at Ormus. Sadly, it was packed full of soldiers and other random employees with different uniforms.

They lead us down more halls and in another elevator before reached our destination. The elevator doors slid open and we were in the bridge of the ship. The setup of the bridge had gotten more attention than the corridors. Short staircases sloped downward on both sides upon entering and lead to a large open area. The circular area that was elevated from the rest of the computer terminals that lined the concaved walls. In that area there was a single computer terminal with a chair in front of it.

The person who stood in front of the terminal faced away from us, but even before he turned around a sickening feeling of familiarity set in. Just by the black suit and short white hair, I felt as though I should have been standing beside KOS-MOS and chaos.

He turned around and smiled as we entered. He made it far too easy to see the smile didn't reach his eyes. My gaze was drawn away from his blood red eyes when I saw what seemed to be the head of a person in his chair. A stared at back of the chair a moment longer, my curiosity mounting. A young girl turned around in the chair, her pale green blue eyes as enigmatic as Wilhelm's.

I furrowed my brows at the site of her, guessing she couldn't be more than ten. She had long brown hair that tumbled down her shoulders and curling at the ends. Her attire consisted of a simple white dress and distinctly contrasting black high-tops. Her expression was so flat and hopeless looking, it didn't even seem right.

Cheerful young children never seemed hid happiness, nor did they disguise plain. Her gaze was completely void of emotion; just as vacant as KOS-MOS had been when she'd first awoken over one hundred years ago. The worst part was that she was probably human.

"Hello, Miss Uzuki. How was your trip?"

I forced my gaze back to Wilhelm saying, "It sucked. Your escorts need to work on their manners and using proper grammar."

The female guard who had removed her goggles scoffed as Wilhelm held his hand up for silence.

"I will make note of that."

"Sir Wilhelm!" The female guard cried angrily.

He ignored her saying, "I will not waste your time. We have a request of you, Miss Uzuki. Kevin Winnicot was unable to resurrect Mary Magdalene, but I do not doubt that you could attain such a feat. We recovered the remains of T-elos and would like to see what would happen if she too, awoke."

I was about to insult him again, but a little voice in the back of my reminded me it was only _me_ they were after and that Rukiro still had a rifle pointed at him. "I have no reason to do that. And if KOS-MOS and T-elos harmonized T-elos disappeared, you couldn't have recovered her frame."

Wilhelm smiled at me like he was speaking to a small child adding, "Things are not always as they seem. If you were able to repair KOS-MOS I see no reason as to why you couldn't repair T-elos too."

"Mary Magdalene can't be resurrected." I said firmly. A pang of pain rattled my concentration as it did. I winced and Wilhelm noticed.

"We'll see about that. Though you may find it hard to believe, I am better equipped now than I was with Winnicot. You are my key, Hikaru."

Wilhelm turned away though the young girl sitting in the chair continued to stare directly at me. My eyes settled upon hers as my vision started to blur. Her face remained clear for a few moments before I felt my knees collapsing out from under me.

"Confine them all in one room and have Miss Uzuki's wounds tended." Wilhelm said, his voice getting quieter and quieter as my eyes closed.

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_The small hospital was smattered with blood, the lurid remains of a Aoi Uzuki sprawled out on the bed. The newly slain bodies of mutant Realians had been confined into a corner, though they were generating a foul smell and leaked blood onto the floor. The body of Sou Uzuki in the U-TIC uniform slumped against the wall, dead, though still bleeding from a stab wound through the heart._

_The room was tense and Shion was trembling, and what seemed to be her younger self crumpled on the floor beside the bed of her dead mother. KOS-MOS walked over to the window, scanning the Gnosis that filled the darkened sky beyond. The ominous feeling they created was heightened by the dark red sky._

_"What the hell is going on? That didn't happen fifteen years ago!" Rubedo snapped._

_"What we're seeing is not the past." Jin said, his hands remaining on Shion's shoulders. Her gaze was panicked but focused on her younger self. "This is a reality that didn't exist."_

_"Abel's Ark." chaos said simply, his gaze settling on the same giant Gnosis that had drawn KOS-MOS' attention away a moment prior._

_"That thing that appeared at Miltia a year ago?" Rubedo asked inquisitively._

_"But why appear were now?" Jin asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion._

_"That's why they brought Shion here." chaos replied, "This world isn't the world of the past. It's a reality constructed inside of Shion's mind, by temporarily restoring the consciousness of people from the past. They're using Shion to correct in the present what they were unable to accomplish in the past."_

_KOS-MOS listened closely to his explanation, silently committing every word to memory. Ever since reawakening he continually felt haunting familiar. She'd scanned her memory countless times, but couldn't recall ever meeting him before._

_Rubedo glanced over at the younger Shion darkly. She hugged her knees to her chest was sobbing softly, pressing her back against the computer console beside the bed to be as far away from the others as possible. However, the moment of silence was short lived._

_"Yes…" A voice echoed, "Everything was supposed to begin here. But in order to awaken Abel, the resonance of the power between them was necessary. The Gnosis that attacked Miltia in the past…did not arrive because of Mizrahi, nor Albedo's link to U-DO."_

_"No," It continued, though collected in one location. "They were called by Shion, when she was a child."_

_Shion's dismal gaze slid upward and toward the door to the small hospital room. A figure dressed in red stood there, his face shadowed by the poor lighting. He stepped forward the same moment as bolt of lightning illuminated the room through the window._

_Shion's eyes widened in confusion. "Ke-Kevin?" She said breathlessly, her voice barely more than a whisper._

_"What?" Allen asked sharply. "Kevin?"_

_"Wait," Rubedo cut in, "you mean the guy who designed KOS-MOS?"_

_"Yes…" Allen paused, "but why?"_

_"He was Shion's boyfriend?" Rubedo asked skeptically._

_"But, that's a Testament." MOMO objected._

_He took another step further into the room as Shion muttered his name again._

_"Is it really you?" She asked, sounding afraid to believe._

_"Yes, it's me. What's wrong? Have you forgotten my face?"_

_"No! I haven't forgotten. I've never once forgotten. But why are you…"_

_"I've come for you, Shion." He replied simply, smiling at her reassuringly. KOS-MOS regarded him flatly, though she seemed less than pleased to see him again._

_"Kevin, tell me, why did you hide yourself all this time?" Shion demanded, breaking away from Jin's grip. "Why are you a Testament?"_

_"I needed power. That is why I took this form." He replied. "But what I look like is not important. It's still me. Nothing has changed."_

_"But the Kevin in this time he sacrificed all those people, all those Realians to research to Zohar, even my mother." Her gaze fell sadly to the floor as she finished._

_"I had no choice." He said remorsefully. "I'm sorry I made you suffer. But you must understand that it was all done for you."_

_"For me? This?" She asked unhappily, her eyes meeting his. "Are you saying all of this was for me?"_

_"It was all for you. I was always thinking about you. Come with me. I need you, Shion."_

_She swallowed saying. "Kevin…"_

_"Who the hell do you think you are?" Rubedo snapped, "You've got no right to come here and open up her wounds. And you're saying it's fall for her benefit?"_

_"Silence." Kevin said coldly. "This is none of your concern."_

_"It sure as hell is my concern!" Rubedo retorted._

_"Don't you understand? None of you can save Shion." Kevin said smugly._

_"What do you mean?" Jin asked suspiciously, "I hope you can explain yourself._

_"Jin Uzuki…" Kevin began, his eyes meeting the cold glare of Shion's older brother. "I'm sure you've already realized what's happening to Shion's body."_

_"Uh…" Jin grumbled, looking down in guilt._

_"That's right. She's suffering from the same illness as her mother." Kevin explained._

_"Ah?" Shion gasped, her eyes meeting his desperately. She scanned his sad gaze for any hint of a lie._

_"Shion, you have an ability that others lack." Kevin said, his eyes meeting Shion's. "But that power will eventually cost you your life. That's the reason for your recent headaches."_

_"I have the same illness as Mom…?" Shion asked shakily._

_"If you know that much, then, naturally, you must know the cause as well?" Jin asked, addressing the Testament._

_"While differing somewhat in the strength of their power, the test subjects assembled in this facility all possess the same ability as Shion. The subjects are capable of communicating with U-DO. They can convey their will to U-DO."_

_"Communicating with U-DO?" Rubedo asked suddenly, his expression saddened in remembrance._

_"Yes, but it leads to their own death." Kevin began, "The test subjects' wills are unable to stand the stress of direct contact with U-DO, and they eventually fall into a coma and die."_

_"Why didn't you make them stop the experiments?" Allen demanded suddenly. "If you cut off the contact with U-DO, wouldn't their illness stop? You don't have to force them to talk with U-DO!"_

_"You can't." Rubedo, his voice as empty and monotonous as KOS-MOS' usually was._

_"Huh?" Allen asked, blinking in confusion._

_Nobody noticed KOS-MOS' gaze straying beyond Kevin. Nor did they know of the other android sensing her gaze and smirking from where she stood in wait in the outer hall. KOS-MOS' expression darkened as she sensed T-elos' amusement._

_"You can't cut off contact with U-DO." Rubedo continued sadly. "He's watching us from another realm. You can't run away from him."_

_"U-DO chooses to make contact?" Jin asked. "Are you saying those waves have a will?"_

_"Don't you see Shion? I became a Testament to save you." Kevin said, his tone softening. "Without this from, without this power, I can't save you. The only ones that can save you are me and T-elos."_

_"T-elos?" Allen asked coldly. "T-elos is going to save the Chief? Wait a minute! Then what the hell is KOS-MOS? You designed her, too!"_

_"KOS-MOS is just a prototype built to collect data for T-elos," Kevin explained firmly, "and to monitor Shion."_

_"KOS-MOS is a prototype?" Allen snapped, "Is that why you tried to dispose of her?"_

_"Yes." Kevin replied, his tone losing the kindness he addressed Shion with for umpteenth time. "KOS-MOS grew too close to Shion. The source of KOS-MOS' power comes from U-DO, by using the Zohar as a door. Every time KOS-MOS uses her abilities, Shion, who reacts to U-DO, loses her life force."_

_Shion looked to KOS-MOS in disbelief and confusion as Kevin continued with, "The close Shion and KOS-MOS' wills come together, the greater the stress on Shion."_

_"KOS-MOS…is shortening the Chief's life span?" Allen asked quietly._

_"You mean," Shion said, her voice unsteady, "KOS-MOS is going to kill me?"_

_"Shion. I want you to come with me. If things progress as they have been, then you'll have no future. This is the only way to save you. Please listen Shion, I don't want--I don't want to lose you again."_

_"Kevin," She whispered, "I--"_

_"I understand." He said quickly. "It's all right. I'm right here with you."_

_"Oh, Kevin, I'm happy--" Shion said, her voice cracking, "I'm so happy to see you again…I missed you so much. I thought--that I'd never see you again. And yet, here you are. So, I--I--I…"_

_"I promise you," He said warmly, "That I'll never leave you again. We'll always be together."_

_"Kevin…" She stammered, turning around abruptly about to run to him. Jin jumped in front of her abruptly, ready to draw his katana. "Jin? What are you doing? I don't understand."_

_"Shion." He said firmly, hand resting on the hilt of the sword, "I apologize. But I cannot allow you to leave here with him. What he's telling you right now may seem plausible enough. However, I don't believe it! I don't believe that he can be trusted!"_

_"Jin Uzuki." Kevin said threateningly as T-elos stepped into the room, hovering behind him. Her eyes settled on KOS-MOS' and her mouth twisted into a smirk._

_"What are you saying, Jin?" Shion demanded shrilly. "You've got to stop it! This is Kevin! He's the man I loved from the bottom of my heart!"_

_"No, he isn't, he's not the same anymore!" Jin insisted. "He is no longer a human."_

_"No." Shion yelled, "You're wrong! He's the same as he always was. He's the same man that I always knew! He's still my Kevin!"_

_Jin regarded the Testament coldly as his smirk began to match T-elos'. T-elos decided to take it upon herself to move at that time, deflecting a bullet effortlessly with her hand._

_"Dammit…" Rubedo muttered as she deflected another shot._

_Shion turned around and grabbed his arm, catching him off guard so his third shot didn't come close to hitting either of them._

_"Tell me why." Shion pleaded, "Why are you all interfering?"_

_"Shion, get back!" Jin snapped, pushing her backward. She tumbled into KOS-MOS' arms as Jin said, "KOS-MOS, take Shion and run away!"_

_"KOS-MOS, don't do it." Kevin said firmly. KOS-MOS' empty red eyes met his calmly as he said, "Come to me. Bring Shion here."_

_"KOS-MOS!" Allen said suddenly, "No, don't do it!"_

_"KOS-MOS!" Kevin repeated commandingly, frustration apparent in his voice and expression._

_"Kevin Winnicot, I am very sorry, but unfortunately I am not programmed to follow your orders." The blue haired android answered calmly._

_"Are yo trying to defy your creator?" Kevin asked harshly._

_"The KOS-MOS that was created by you, has been destroyed by T-elos, sir." She continued, her tone softening slightly, "I have different designers, Shion Uzuki and also Mr. Allen Ridgeley."_

_Kevin's eyes winded and he scowled at her snapping, "Impossible!"_

_"Shion, we will leave now."_

_"No, KOS-MOS stop!" Shion argued, "I don't want to go with you!"_

_Her eyes rolled up into her head as KOS-MOS' fist sank into her stomach. She leaned forward with a moan and collapsed, only supported by the android's arm._

_"I must apologize." KOS-MOS said, the flat mechanical tone return to her voice, "Action was needed to avoid danger."_

_Hoisting Shion over her shoulder and protecting her head with her other arm, KOS-MOS jumped up and through the window, glass falling like a spiral around them as they fell. With a brilliant flash of light from the hyperspace short jump KOS-MOS had summoned in the moment of falling, the familiar flying motorcycle her maintenance bed morphed into appeared below them._

_KOS-MOS landed in the drivers' seat smoothly, making sure Shion st securely behind her before squeezing the throttle and speeding off. As they sped over the streets, weaving between buildings what rain hit them pelted their skin painfully. KOS-MOS was completely oblivious to it._

_"KOS-MOS!" T-elos yelled, spacing her foot on the windowsill and watching them speed away as the shards of broken glass shattered upon hitting the ground. "You think you can run?"_

_She leaped from the window in pursuit, landing on the roof of a building and hopping across an unbelievably large chasm to the next. KOS-MOS' craft landed smoothly on one of the streets filled with debris from the destroyed city as T-elos landed only a few feet behind her, following at a run._

_KOS-MOS glanced back and up briefly before disappearing into a tunnel, her eyes saddening slightly as she recognized the DNA reading of the person co-piloting the craft. She pulled her eyes away and regained focus on the road, swerving to avoid the body of a dead soldier._

_However, the huge foot of the E.S. Asher blocked T-elos from continuing forward. She glared up at the craft, silently cursing Yeshua and the pilot for their unbelievably terrible timing._

_**He's always protecting her! **__T-elos thought resentfully, spreading her arms wide and summoning the power of her phase transfer cannon. __**Even before he started believing her will exists in that useless scrap of metal! **__The area in front of her began to glow red as the attack began initiation._

_"Stop, T-elos." Kevin's voice echoed in her mind as the blood red sphere started to materialize in front of her. "There's no need to chase them. We'll have plenty of opportunities."_

_She gaze the E.S. Asher one more disappointed glare as she let the red aura-like glow disappear. "Return now." Kevin's voice filled her mind one final time as she stepped back and jumped into the air, away from the unit._

_She stared down at the unit thinking, __**I hope to have another opportunity with you too, Yeshua…you deserve to die right beside KOS-MOS…**_

_KOS-MOS and Shion sped down the streets of the crumbling city as she opened a UMN communication link with the Elsa. She spotted it quickly hovering above the buildings, near a stationary A.M.W.S. unit._

_"Captain!" Hammer exclaimed from within the Elsa's bridge, "It's KOS-MOS! She's headed this way on the bike!"_

_"Are they alone?" Captain Matthews asked quickly. "Stop the ship! We'll pick them up."_

_The ship lowered closer to the ground and the door to the hangar slid open ad KOS-MOS picked up speed on the bike._

_"Captain." She stated calmly, "I'm boarding the ship. Please maintain your current position."_

_"Don't do anything crazy." Captain Matthews said firmly, though KOS-MOS inwardly thought her plan would qualify as 'crazy' to him. "This ship is delicate. Scratch it and you're gonna pay for it."_

_"I will do my best." KOS-MOS replied, squeezing the throttle to maximum and going up the side of an overturned transport truck and springing into the air as though it were a ramp. She sped into the hangar, turning the bike around quickly as they landed on the ground._

_"KOS-MOS and Shion are now onboard!" Hammer said in the bridge._

_Back in the hangar, KOS-MOS scooped Shion up easily and looked to the surveillance camera saying, "Captain, all of the others are still currently inside of Labyrinthos."_

_"Don't worry." Captain Matthews said over the loud speaker. He then addressed his pilot saying, "Tony, can you handle it?"_

_"Who do you think you're talkin' to? This is gonna be a piece of cake!" Tony replied confidently. KOS-MOS shook her head slightly at his bravado._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

I became aware of my surroundings and squinted as I opened my eyes, not expecting the darkness. I stared at the ceiling a long moment, silently wondering who had who had sent _that_ dream. It didn't really have much relevance to KOS-MOS, but the appearance of T-elos and echoing resonance of her thoughts was unusual. How had Kevin Winnicot have possibly hoped to awaken Mary's soul within T-elos when she wanted to kill Yeshua?

_I suppose it could have been because of the talk of U-DO…or was it just because it was a traumatic turning point in Shion's life?_

I yawned drowsily, inwardly noticing I'd been given a change of clothes when my wounds had been tended. I felt the bandage on my left arm and figured they hadn't bothered to waste their nanomachines on me.

As I became completely awake and aware of my surroundings again, I felt a warm hand atop my right hand. I looked down to see Rukiro's hand wrapped protectively around mine. I smiled, guessing by the uncomfortable-looking position he was in with his legs crossed and head resting on the side of the bed that he'd fallen asleep waiting for me to wake up.

I sat up and gently brushed his bangs away from his face. Despite how seriously he'd been taking the situation, his expression was completely peaceful in sleep. It was surprising how much he looked like Rubedo, though the age difference was considerable.

I looked around the rest of the room, spotting Nanami and Sayuri asleep on the sofa. Kain had propped a chair against the wall and was titling back on the back feet though he was asleep. I couldn't help but smirk when thinking of if he was woken up abruptly that he'd probably fall right out of the chair.

Rukiro stirred slightly when I shifted.

"Not so early…" He grumbled, squeezing his eyes shut a moment before opening them again and sitting up.

I grinned at him saying quietly, "I don't think it's morning."

His eyes brightened as he said, "Hikaru! You're all right!"

"Shhh." I said, holding my finger to my lips and nodding at the others.

Before either of us said anything else the doors to the room slid open. Rukiro tensed and stood, instinctively reaching to an empty holster on his belt. The hall was still brightly lit and the shadow that appeared didn't stretch as far as I expected it to.

"Isn't the door supposed to be locked?" Rukiro muttered.

She then stepped in, her eyes cast to the floor. Her gaze slowly traveled up to met mine, vacant teal eyes staring at me. I expected Wilhelm or an equally dreaded U-TIC employee to enter behind her, but as the door slid shut I realized she was alone. Her footsteps were silently as she approached Rukiro and me. She carried a red plastic shopping bag.

Rukiro looked confused as he asked, "Isn't that the girl that was with Wilhelm."

"Yeah…" I trailed off, watching as she stopped at the foot of my bed. "What's your name?" I asked, unable to think of anything else.

She remained silent and Rukiro scowled slightly asking, "Do you think she even hears us?"

"Don't speak like she isn't here." I replied, mesmerized by her gaze. She held out her hand, palm facing up as if waiting for me to take it. I reached out without giving it much thought.

"Hikaru!" Rukiro said abruptly, grabbing my wrist though not fast enough.

I was surprised at how small and frail her hand felt under mine, though the feeling subsided quickly. I stiffened and felt my eyes widen as the room, Rukiro, and the little girl disappeared. The first scene lasted only a moment, but the familiar field of cosmos flowers was easy to recognize.

Though everything was silent, the flower metals being blow into a spiral by the sea breeze were unfazed. In the distance I saw two people laughing. The one woman dressed in blue had long black hair and glittering blue eyes whereas the other woman had short brown hair and teal eyes. Though the feeling in my physical body felt distant and vague, I felt the tension transcend quickly.

A moment later the field disappeared and a loud but calm voice filled my mind.

"Find me." I winced in pain as the voice filled my mind, trying desperately to recoil. The feminine tone was soft as she continued, "I want to see her again. Is she…all right?

I felt a scream forming in my throat as the voice became higher and more childish. With it, hysteria and terror filled the voice.

"Find me! Save me! I don't want to live! Why isn't anybody here?"

_Stop it…stop it! Just be quiet!_

"Free me!"

The questioned and demands continued, but they became unintelligible. Every word echoed throughout my mind and reverberated ten times louder than it originally was. The echoes and current words melted together into a painfully loud abyss of sound.

Then suddenly, it stopped. I opened my eyes and had a material body again, though I wasn't in the U-TIC battleship anymore. I felt gentle arms around my shoulders as I was pulled back. I gasped in surprise as I realized where I stood. The young girl sat cross-legged on the edge of the beach, the water lapping up a few inches away from her.

I felt nearly sick to realize we were on the Beach of Nothingness below the cosmos flowers. The distorted reality of the situation hit me quickly; the girl wasn't normal. She's established a connection to U-DO. I stared at her sadly, feeling terrible. It was foolish; I had absolutely no connection to her, but to know that any person so young could reach the crossroads of U-DO's world and reality was depressing.

_If I'm in her mind, why is it so empty? Other than the pain…there's nothing. There aren't any memories here. She's…completely alone. Even after my mother died, I still had Rukiro with me…he…never left me alone…_

The arms disappeared and the figure of a person dressed in a white robe stood before me. I fell backwards though I felt no pain upon landing. I blinked in hopes to clear my vision, but the person remained unclear.

"Did she cause you too much pain?"

"Who?"

"Sherah. Her perception of reality is pain. She knows nothing else and thus cannot perceive anything else or convey her will to another. When in the Encephalon of her mind, the only thing she has access to is her own experience. There her emotion can exist without being bound or struck down."

"Sherah?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"I am sorry or what pain you have felt. However…"

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"Has she been behaving?" She asked, her voice curious.

"Who are you talking about now?" I asked hazily.

My vision was clearing as she turned around and smiled sadly slightly saying, "KOS-MOS, of course."

A moment before her face became clear to me I was back in the real world, falling back weekly into Rukiro's arms. It only occurred to me a moment how close our faces were with my head lulling back against his shoulder, but I dismissed the thought quickly.

"Hikaru!" He repeated as I squeezed my eyes shut, my head protesting to the tension. I swallowed and opened my eyes, my muscles feeling like gelatin as I sat up on my own, gently sliding his arm off my shoulders.

The young girl reached into the plastic bag she'd been carrying and pulled out two familiar items. I blinked in surprise, still disoriented from the connection. Statistically, the two connection gears were identical in appearance, excluding a dent in mine from when it took a bullet. She placed the dented connection gear in front of my knees and Rukiro's beside it.

"What in the hell just happened?" Rukiro asked quietly. "And why is she looking at me? It's freakin' creepy!"

I picked up my connection gear but as I turned it on the error message came up. I couldn't connect to a satellite network. Evidently, U-TIC used a scrambling program that didn't allow unregistered computers or connection gears to access networks. I'd gotten familiarized with the message before I registered it at Ormus and I couldn't connect.

I looked over the holographic screen at to the girl asking, "You're Sherah, right? Do you know how to get past this?"

She held her hand out and I placed the connection gear in her palm without much hesitation. She pressed the button on the upper left corner to materialize the keyboard and typed a code in too fast for me to see which keys. The message disappeared in flash and the "incoming COM" signal popped up. Sherah then walked over to the door. It slid open the moment she stepped close to it, though she turned around and hovered in the doorway.

"It's Midori." I stated, the entire situation feeling surreal. I pressed the accept button and there was no peaceful rest after that.

"_Where in the hell have you been_?" Midori yelled, I winced as the memory of the reverberating yells returned. "You just leave the planet and give us no authority to command or even locate KOS-MOS ! Mission control is a mess! People are running in circles, and Arku is out for blood thanks to your little disappearing act!"

Nanami and Sayuri had woken up without hazard but the moment Midori's voice filled the room Kain jerked awake, looking panicked. It didn't' surprise me the Green Leech traumatized other Ormus employees. He sat up, wide awake, but jerked forward too fast and fell right out of his chair and onto the flood. It looked rather painful when the chair followed suit and landed atop him. Rukiro grinned despite the situation as he swore loudly, getting to his feet slowly.

Midori heard the noise and furrowed her brows asking, "What was that?"

"One of the civilians who came with us falling over." I answered simply.

She shook her head saying, "I won't ask. But where are you?"

"The U-TIC ship."

Her expression darkened asking, "Can you get out?"

"I think so. The door was…unlocked."

"You can tell us more later. Were you serious about getting out?"

I nodded saying, "Yes. I know where the hangar is."

Rukiro stared at me like I'd gone crazy. "Since when?" He mouthed silently.

"Did you hack their blocking system to get reception?" Midori asked, not dwelling on the previous question.

"Yes. You can follow the data stream to get the codes. I'll change the password to bypass the security on my connection gear so you can access it."

I opened the program to let her into the tracking system that would link over to the code Sherah had used to get through blocker. Before I even got to chance to change my old password the window that had Midori's communications line flickered.

"It's closing." She said abruptly, as the color disappeared and the video feed became black and white. "There's no time left. Whatever you have to do, come to the Dammerung. Do not return Earth, or-"

Before she finished, the link broke. I sighed and turned the screens off, sliding the connection gear into my pocket. My pair of old boots were placed at the side of the bed and I pulled them on, Rukiro hovering over me the entire time looking worried.

"What's happening?" Kain asked, glancing down at Sherah before adding, "And who the hell is she?"

Nanami acted first and knelt down in front of the girl asking, "Do live on this ship?"

She nodded as Nanami continued, "Do you know the way to the hangar?"

Another nod.

"We're not following her." Kain said stubbornly, crossing his arms. "It goes against all protocol to follow the enemy's young children through a battleship."

"Is it protocol to sit and be shot? They don't need a pilot, they only need me." I said bluntly. There was no way to refine the arrogant sound the words had, but it was the truth. _I'd rather have that not be the truth._

She turned around and started walking down the hall, stopping at the entrance and staring at the door.

"I hate to agree with an asshole but this is kind of nuts." Rukiro said, looking at me questioningly. "It's your call, I'll come either way."

I paused a moment, the little part of my mind Airi corrupted over-dramatizing his statement. I dispelled the thought saying, "Let's go."

"Good." Nanami said, her manner very businesslike as she regarded her sister with a commanding look. Sayuri pursed her lips but stood and took her place beside Nanami. I couldn't help but sense resentment between them.

Sherah lead us down numerous halls, all of which were smaller than the main ones the soldiers had us going though, though these were desolate. We'd heard voices at one crossroads, though she hadn't hesitated and only sped up.

Kain and Sayuri were lagging behind, though the running was starting wear me out. Rukiro had noticed and hung behind, stopping for a moment as my pace slowed to a walk. The hall was starting to spin and change color.

"Are you all right?"

I took a deep breath saying, "Well enough."

"I kind of-eh? Hey!" I objected as he scooped me up bridal-style. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, blushing fiercely as Sherah and the others stood by the elevator in wait. It was a lot less embarrassing when KOS-MOS had carried me around like an invalid.

The elevator we entered had doors on the other side as well, these ones made of glass. Kain had been less than confident in my command, though I couldn't blame him since I had a concussion, but he didn't know that. I doubted not even having the strength to stand reflected well.

"You can put me down." I said quietly. Rukiro either didn't hear me or didn't me walking.

The view from the glass doors had been plain white walls, though it changed abruptly. We were sliding down the shaft smoothly, level with the spherical ceiling of the hangar. We stopped shortly after, on what might have been the highest level of the hangar.

The floors below were bustling with people, though this one was empty. Lines of identical crafts filled the walls. They had sleek black designs with one row of seats behind the front bench. The metal of the craft swooped over the backseat at the glass of the windshield didn't reach very far back or overlap into the doors.

Sherah walked over to the computer console and flipped through the menus with the speed and precision of an expert hacker. The doors on either side of the craft slid open. Sherah turned around to face us, motioning toward the craft then bowing her head briefly.

"Can you cope with normal crafts and not A.M.W.S.?" Rukiro asked dryly.

"Don't insult me." Kain said flatly, taking his seat in the pilot's chair.

Sayuri slid to the end of the back seat, Nanami following and sitting in the middle.

"I'll take care of hacking the system." Rukiro said, gently placing me down in the back seat. I was about to object, but my attention was drawn elsewhere.

"Sherah!" I called loudly as the doors to the elevator we'd just exited slid open. She stopped and looked back, her expression stoic as ever as her eyes met mine. "Come with us."

She remained motionless a moment before shaking her head no and turning around, disappearing into the elevator. My shoulder fell slightly as I wondered what the repercussions of helping us escape would bring. I doubted it'd help her perceive anything but pain.

Rukiro lingered a moment before the door to the shuttle slid closed and he took his seat in the second computer console of the front seat. Kain waited impatiently while function by function became available as Rukiro removed the tracking programs.

"I suppose you can't plot the flight course with their funky programs." Kain said, crossing his arms in wait.

"I'm the hacker not the pilot. Did they teach you that or were you too lazy to pay attention past what it took to operate Ormus A.M.W.S.?"

"I heard that asshole comment." Kain grumbled.

Nanami leaned forward saying, "I've taken a course in navigation. I could probably use their program to plot the course."

"Go ahead and try." Kain said flatly, regarding her without much interest. He arched an eyebrow as she stood up, bent over in the small space between the seats and the ceiling. She hoisted herself up and over the seat, landing between Kain and Rukiro. Both of them looked equally surprised by her reaction. She leaned over and started typing things into the holographic keyboard Rukiro had been using a moment ago.

_Shit, now I'm stuck with the slut in the backseat…_ I thought randomly, watching as Nanami's fingers flew across the keyboard.

_KOS-MOS…_I thought fleetingly, _is this why you shoved Kain in at the last minute? Did you really know this was going to happen?_

A sick feeling formed in the pit of my stomach as I realized what that'd mean. I squeezed my eyes shut thinking, _no. She tried to kill Wilhelm, there is no possible way she could be taking commands from him._

I opened my eyes and watched as all the systems became operational and the GPS screen activated.

_Still…it's more than suspicious. If it had only been Rukiro and me there's no way we would have been able to get out of here._

_Wait! Midori said they lost track of KOS-MOS…then…she's still on Earth?_

I pulled my connection gear from my pocket and opened KOS-MOS' tracking system. I sensed Sayuri watching me and hurried when typing in her main password.

Ye shall be as gods.

The map loaded in a second and the blue dot that represented KOS-MOS was moving about the halls of the Ormus building. Info on the weapons she was using came up on the left. The sick feeling deepened at knowing she was in combat.

"What's our destination?" Nanami asked.

I looked up and saw the blinking cursor on the screen, idly noticing her middle finger hovering over the D key.

"Ormus' headquarters on Earth." I said firmly.

"No, we're going to the Dammerung." Rukiro said forcefully.

"KOS-MOS is still on Earth." I objected. "We have to go back and get her."

"It's a battlefield down there, we can't go back." Rukiro contradicted. "You designed KOS-MOS to fight like this, she'll be fine."

"You don't know that." I said desperately. "We need to go back, she's too unstable to be left alone like this!"

"The aerial assaults are too heavy, we probably wouldn't even be able to land."

"Doesn't matter, KOS-MOS' jumping ability is three hundred and forty nine times better than that of an average human."

"If you contacted her and commanded her to retreat to the Dammerung she'd have to obey."

"That's not true, she had serious behavioral problems when it comes to following orders." I said persistently, "She's stubborn as hell, you only saw her for a few moments and she got all assertive."

He was silent a long moment and neither Kain or Nanami had to death wish to get involved.

"Please. You said you'd come with me. You've helped me all along getting to where we are now and KOS-MOS to where she is now. If we forsake her now you might as well have done the same to me."

"Destination?" Nanami asked quietly.

"Ormus HQ." Rukiro sighed.

I smiled in relief and reached forward, sliding my arm through the space between the wall and seat. Rukiro's hand closed over mine. I squeezed his hand reassuringly, those his only reply was to shake his head slightly.


	13. Interlude: I Walk This Empty Street

_What could this strange and bizarre thing be?! It's…an update? Is it Ragnarok?! No, this is the Xenoverse…not the lands of Norse Mythology through the eyes of the Japanese of Tri-Ace Company. But it's so unfathomable! There is no way this story is still alive!_

YES, it is I! The Final Hikari! Xenosaga IV is not dead! It may seem surprising to most of you, since the last chapter in my documents is hitting its sixty day expiration and the XSIV file hasn't been edited since Valentine's Day, but it is true! I have updated this story! Though I have lost the faith of many a reader, I can promise this story will not die. If you have access to the My Documents of my laptop (which I am afraid, you do not, but whatever) you could see this is not uncommon for me. Past Alive didn't get touched for three months before I cranked out 100 pages of that story in a few weeks. Flights of Fate was dropped for six months and picked up again not long ago.

Hell, my first ever book Shadow Souls was ignored for one month before getting finished in a flashy, dramatic ending. Other than lack of inspiration that has greatly delayed the posting of this update my home life has been rather turbulent; divorcing parents, fending off fags, saying goodbye to a few people…etc.

Anyway! -bows head politely in Japanese-style- I offer this update to my dedicated readers. Between writer's block on my other stories, something did inspire me to work on XSIV a little bit. It was a review. This lone little review saying it was for Xenosaga IV surprised me and invoked the power of guilt upon my mind.

So, for future reference, you can get the fire under my ass to post updates with reviews! They keep my inspired and cheerful, too. - Embrace the little purple button…but click it first!

_Xenosaga IV_

_Chapter 13_

_Interlude: I Walk This Empty Street_

"Destination?" Nanami asked quietly.

"Ormus HQ." Rukiro sighed.

I smiled in relief and reached forward, sliding my arm through the space between the wall and seat. Rukiro's hand closed over mine. I squeezed his hand reassuringly, though his only reply was to shake his head slightly.

_"This is the place from KOS-MOS' subconscious domain."_

I winced, the voice filling my mind. I awaited the exodus of the disorienting feeling, but it didn't come. A blur of darkness covered my vision like a cloak for a split second. More whispers echoed but only the end of one line was comprehensible.

_"…no data regarding our current location."_

It didn't take long to reenter Earth's atmosphere. The descent into the gravitational pull was surprisingly smooth, though I'd never been off the planet before so I doubted I qualified as a good judge.

A pang of pain filled my head and I winced, the colors of the ship hazing over completely. I felt myself go limp, though it made no difference. I never lost sensitivity of the ship despite the lack of vision. The colors got darker before coming into focus.

_The group walked deeper into the decrepit tomb before Shion and KOS-MOS reached the large coffin in the middle of the hall. The remains of what had once been a venerated example of historic architecture had a haunting feeling to them. They were not ominous, but rather welcoming. The cold air seemed to curl its fingers around you and pull you in. _

_"This is the place from KOS-MOS' subconscious domain." Shion paused, "But why is it here?"_

_She took a few steps forward to the old cross and turned to the android asking, "KOS-MOS, do you know this location?"_

_"No." She replied flatly. "My memory contains no data regarding our current location."_

_"Yeah, you've never been here since you were developed." Shion said, her gaze straying to the cross. All the stone was grayed with age and the cross was no exception. KOS-MOS followed her creator's gaze and stared at the cross. Nothing seemed unusual about it._

_"What does this all mean?" Shion asked unhappily._

"Have you ever left Earth before?" Nanami asked randomly as we broke through the clouds. The voice filtered through my haze and the tomb faded, immediately replaced by the interior of the ship. I didn't think my eyes had closed even cone.

"Well, no," Kain admitted, "but I've done a lot of simulations of reentering, if that's what you're worried about."

"There's still an aerial battle going on." Rukiro said, "Can you cope landing though that?"

"Without breaking a sweat. I do recommend buckling up though; there may be some creative dodging."

I leaned back, letting my head loll backward. I waited for my vision to feel completely normal again before even trying to do anything. My muscles retained the gelatin-like feeling, leaving my hands shaking when I tried to use them. Sayuri either didn't notice or didn't care. Maybe there was an advantage to sitting next to the slut.

I placed my connection gear down in my lap before reaching back and pulling the metal clasp down in front of me. The material that slid out was surprisingly thin but seemed sturdy enough. I resumed synchronizing the full-color, 3D map of Ormus I'd downloaded from their database upon first moving into the building to the tracking system of KOS-MOS. It was the closest I could get to actually seeing what she was doing. Ormus' surveillance system had crashed and I couldn't hack the security cameras.

I attempted calling her directly for the third time to no avail. I waited a long, impatient moment but nothing happened. Then I suddenly found myself upside down when the message 'audio feed only' opened up. I yelped as the connection gear flew from my hands and a chain of gun shots sped inches from the windshield. I swore and reached for my connection gear when Kain righted the ship but jerked it down a moment after. I winced as my connect gear hit the dashboard with a crack.

"Ouch." Rukiro said as it hit, reaching through the holographic screen to pick it up. The area of the screen around his arm blurred as he did but retained clarity when he pulled back.

"Hikaru?" KOS-MOS asked sharply, her voice filling the cabin. The loud crack of the connection gear had probably gone through the microphone.

We were then turned on the left side abruptly. I was leaning forward precariously to get my connection gear form Rukiro as we did, and placed my right hand against the window for support so my head wasn't whacked against the glass.

"Are you all right?" Rukiro asked quickly as we were righted.

"Yeah." I said, taking the connection gear. "Thanks."

I leaned back and addressed KOS-MOS asking, "What's the situation down there? Is the facility being evacuated?"

"What was that sound?"

"I dropped the connection gear." I replied simply.

"What is your current location?" She questioned sternly.

"Doesn't matter. Did everybody escape?"

"Affirmative. The U-TIC forces are attempting to take control of the base. Is there a set location you need me to protect? I could destroy the database, if protecting the information is more important than letting it fall into enemy hands."

"You'd have to ask Midori about that." I replied, the risk never having crossed my mind.

"Understood. There aren't any tasks you need completed here, then?"

"Perhaps the retrieval of a few wires…" Rukiro said under his breath from the front seat. I smirked slightly, but felt it disappear when I pondered the android's question.

_There aren't any locations I need protect…but…what about people?_

I hesitated before asking, "Is Arku still there?"

"The CEO of Ormus?"

"Y-yeah." I stammered, feeling momentarily foolish…even if she did accredit it to the concussion.

"Yes…your father is still here." She replied. "There aren't many escape pods left. Should I locate him and request his departure?"

My eyes darkened as I said, "He'd never leave…not that he wasn't all ready on borrowed time…"

"Hikaru?" KOS-MOS inquired. "I did not catch that, can you repeat?"

"I said don't bother." I replied, banishing the downcast tone.

"You do not sound convinced. U-TIC forces have yet to infiltrate the entire base. Are you sure you don't want me to fallback and locate your father?"

I stared at the holographic screen flatly for a long moment before replying. "If it doesn't impair your escape, go ahead."

"Understood."

"But don't endanger yourself for him!" I said firmly.

Nanami glanced back at me in surprise, lacking insight on the situation between my father and me. I couldn't blame her; in normal circumstances, it wouldn't make any sense for a person to think of an android having higher worth than a family member. _It'd be strange…even most people didn't view KOS-MOS as a mere machine._

"I shall keep that in mind." KOS-MOS replied.

"But if you do reach him and he objects don't hesitate to knock him out." I added randomly, the idea of him refusing to leave seeming likely.

I could almost hear a slight smirk in her words saying, "Fully noted."

"We're going to land and pick you up." I said as Kain spun us upside down again to avoid enemy fire. I made it a point to hold on to my connection gear that time. "Find my dad and return in that time."

"Return to the Dammerung." She said firmly. "I will escape in one of the remaining pods when my missions are complete."

I scowled saying, "That's a command! You don't have any orders that contradict that."

"I am sorry. There is one other matter I must attend to here."

"KOS-MOS! What is this other matter?"

"There is I must investigate before leaving." She said evenly.

"What _is_ it?" I repeated.

"Forgive me."

"KOS-MOS, hey don't…!" I let my voice falter for a moment before finishing sourly, "Break the link."

There was silence before Kain broke it asking, "Will we still land? It would be better to return to the Dammerung right now for safety reasons…"

"Yes." I said decisively. "Proceed with our previous plan; I can still track her movements."

"Got it. I'm going to land in a clearing in the woods near one of Ormus' cannons. We'd be ambushed if we landed on the usual launching area."

"Oh, you mean the parking lot on steroids?" I asked, remembering the area we'd originally launched from.

"Uh…if you wanted to…call it that." Kain replied gracelessly.

_KOS-MOS…is this why Shion said so many times, even after the Michtam Controversy, not to give her complete freedom?_

_--_

_What the hell?! I thought she said this was an update! Its five freakin' pages! Not even a full fifth! Is it even 2,000 words?! Damn these interludes! Worst of all, she's attempting to protract it with stupid author's notes!_

Are those your thoughts now? If they are, I can't blame you. XD But now that Xenosaga IV has fallen off the first page and I seek to redeem myself with the ending of school drawing near, and this interlude, like the last one, help me get things rolling again…with the help of feedback. - Thanks for reading!


	14. Pray

Yes, another update within a month of the previous one! Woo-hoo! Now it's only neglect and not gross neglect! What suddenly compelled me to work on XSIV? It's kinda sad but I just finished Crisis Core: -Final Fantasy VII- and Cloud Strife said "Good night." to the dying main character, Zack Fair, and I started getting sad again thinking back to the ending of XSIII and how KOS-MOS' final line was "Good night." XD Granted, it lacked the in-game significance that Xenosaga did because of all the meaning behind "Good morning" all through out the series, but for a die-hard XS fan like me it was really sad nonetheless….

A Xenosaga character will be introduced this chapter, so for those of you that want less OCs can rejoice. I'll give you a clue on who it is: think of evil laughing. Who comes to mind?

Also, I have some unpleasant news. I don't want to offend anybody here in the Xenosaga community, because whenever I get anonymous reviews here they're always kind. However, now that I've set foot in a large community I've been getting really offensive flames, though they've all been anonymous. So, I'm editing the story I have posted there but I do plan on continuing it. However, in the end, I still plan to disable the anonymous reviews. I'm sorry to my anonymous reviews here but I do sincerely hope you'll continue reading. J

_Xenosaga IV_

_Chapter 14_

_Pray_

We landed without much trouble. The ship was small enough to land on the metal platform around the cannon mounted into the ground. It had stopped firing a while ago by the look of it. Fortunately, there weren't any U-TIC soldiers.

"Where is KOS-MOS in the base?" Rukiro asked, sliding the front hatch on the right side open and hopping out.

"She's getting close to Arku's office, toward the center of the base." I replied, watching her movements with my connection gear in my left hand as I opened my door.

"There is no way you're coming." Rukiro said decidedly. "You could barely walk before, fifteen minutes of rest isn't going to change anything."

"It was more like twenty." I contradicted, "I also need to know what her secondary mission is. I didn't assign it so it must have something to do with Wilhelm."

Rukiro looked at me doubtfully saying, "Wilhelm was on the battleship. He couldn't have gotten back to Earth fast enough."

"This isn't a normal human we're dealing with." I said softly. "I have records reflecting inhuman abilities from him. In fact, there's something in KOS-MOS' database regarding Wilhelm and Yeshua having a conversation in space."

"Space? You mean outside a ship?" He asked, completely unprepared for my comment.

I nodded saying, "Yeah."

"We don't know _what_ he is." Rukiro argued quietly, "At least with KOS-MOS and Yeshua we had some understanding of what they were. And…" He paused, glancing and the others before adding quietly, "I have a really bad feeling about entering that base."

"Why?" I asked stubbornly, immediately losing faith in any sensible counterargument he could come up with.

"I don't really know, but-"

"Then we're going." I said, cutting him off abruptly.

He scowled and crossed his arms saying, "Fine. Do you need me to carry you or not?"

I hadn't expected him to give in and found myself blushing slightly, glad it was dark enough for him not to see. "Sure."

We weren't walking down the dirt road for long before reaching the edges of clearing of the launching bay. The dirt along the road had been hard packed, as though large vehicles had traveled down it before. The road itself had been very wide, too.

The clearing around the massive paved ground was formidable in size. It took a few minutes to cross the length of it before reaching the building. Other than the slight embarrassment of the situation, I was fairly glad Rukiro had been carrying me; else running would have been distinctly draining.

The highly awkward bridal-style carrying had been abandoned, to my relief. It didn't bother me when it was KOS-MOS holding me like a rag doll but it uncomfortable with Rukiro. I had my arms around his neck and his hands under my knees.

"What the hell…?" He muttered under his breath, stopping suddenly upon reaching the door. I looked up, blinking in confusion at the red web-like substance covering the door.

"Ewww." Sayuri said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

I stared at it a moment, distracted by the faint purple glow coming from below the dark red weave. It seemed to be layers of thick webs piled atop each other many times over. To add to the sinister appearance, it was pulsing slightly, as thought it were alive.

_It's almost like they're veins…they're not quite the color of blood, but its close._

"What is it?" Kain asked, voicing the dreaded question.

"We'll find another entrance." I suggested in a commanding tone, ducking having to try giving an answer. "There's a manual escape exit near here. It's behind the one garden over to the left."

"I don't remember any emergency exits there." Kain said bluntly.

I rolled my eyes saying, "Do you want to get in or just sit out here for the next hour?"

He furrowed his brows asking, "What do you plan on doing for an hour? I want out of here in fifteen minutes!"

I pointed to the path that lead to the exit not far down the wall from the main one, the strange pulsing substance almost completely absent on the door. It was around the corners but hadn't covered the doorknob.

Sayuri squinted at it asking, "A door knob? I thought this place was supposed to have the top of technology."

"It's a manual exit, and it's a handle." I sighed as Nanami pushed it open.

If the halls of the Ormus building hadn't been bad before, they were a hundred times worse now. To add from the massacre of Ormus employees and attacking forces, but the crimson growth was spreading. There were patches of floor covered with the thick web-like substance. In some places, it was beginning to absorb the limps of the corpses.

The stench of death and decay hung heavily in the air. It was accompanied by a strange static, putting Rukiro on the others on edge. I felt strangely drawn to it, the familiarity haunting. Something began to lick at the edges of my consciousness like a flame threatening to engulf a piece of paper. It held the same aura as the threatening force that had overwhelmed me in one of the visions I'd had in the U-TIC battleship.

I winced, recognizing a male mechanic that had assisted with reconstructing KOS-MOS' limbs. The red substance had completely engulfed his right arm and covered half his face. I wouldn't have taken the time to realize the wound he'd died of wasn't like the others if I hadn't recognized him.

"Hey…" I trailed off, pointing at him, "look at that."

"Ugh." Kain said, grimacing. "What's so special about him?"

"He was stabbed." I replied, "It's too large to have been a sword…and it doesn't look like he died very long ago."

"Are you going to ask me to investigate?" Kain asked grimly.

"Now that you've volunteered, go check it out."

Kain walked over begrudgingly and reached down, checking if there was still a pulse. "Whoa!" he exclaimed suddenly, "The body is still warm."

"You mean that crap engulfed him that quick?" Sayuri asked, sounding disgusted.

"He definitely wasn't killed in the original invasion, then…" I muttered. "We should hurry to the center of the base. KOS-MOS is heading there now."

"You don't want to do anything about this?" Kain asked, rising to his feet and point at the body.

"No, we don't have time."

We had to take a few stair cases, but since the main office was on the ground floor it was mainly hurrying down halls. The carnage around the entrance wasn't consistent. In some places there wouldn't be any noticeable damage to the facility and in other it would look like a battlefield. As we got closer to my father's office I started noticing a chance in uniforms. In place of the normal Ormus Security, fallen members of my father's personal division of body guards were getting more common.

I started feeling nervous after spotting twenty of their bodies. I hadn't seen more than five of his special guards at once, and even when I did they all looked similar. I wasn't sure exactly how many he had, but the amount of dead ones was haunting. A few of them had severed limps, the missing part usually lying on the floor a few feet away. Like the mechanic from the KOS-MOS Project, none of them could have been dead for very long.

"Put me down." I requested as we reached the darkened hall that would lead to my father's office. We entered though the door that served as the leftmost exit, meaning the entrance to his lobby would be in the center of the wall around the corner.

Rukiro obliged hesitantly, looking down the hall either ways. There weren't any windows in this area of the building and the walls had additional explosion proofing. My father had gotten since taking charge of Ormus.

It was also cold in the dark hall, an issue that was voiced by Sayuri. "It's freakin' freezing! Are we underground? Is this some sort of bomb shelter? Are we safe here?"

I rolled my eyes saying, "Have you listening to anything that's been said the last few hours? We have to return to the Dammerung after this. It's the opposite of safe here!"

We walked the rest of the way, Rukiro and me slightly ahead of the others. "Can you get in with only a password and no power?"

"There's a fifth backup generator that gives power to the computer with access to Ormus' main database within my father's office….the primary one was destroyed, the secondary dismantled, and the third depleted but the forth should still be intact."

"And if it isn't?"

"Think a wire can pry a door open?"

Rukiro smirked slightly as we turned the corner. I hurried to the computer terminal beside the door, relived to see there was a faint green light coming from the screen to illuminate the hall. I wasn't going to bother with my security card and reached for my connection gear, but stopped short.

_It's…all ready been unlocked?_

"What's wrong?" Rukiro asked, noticing my hesitation as the others caught up.

"It's all ready open. KOS-MOS must have done it."

"We didn't miss her, did we?" Nanami asked, sounding more annoyed than a little disappointed.

"We'll see." I said, stepping close to the door. The doors slip open and the traces of a conversation reached my ears. The door leading to my father's office was closed, though the lobby wasn't in bad condition.

At first the area had gone unscathed. But when I saw his receptionist collapsed over the desk and blood dripping from her hair to the floor, the hope was dashed. I tried to remember the last time I was within the office, usually too preoccupied with the dread of dealing with my father to notice anything intricate about the setup.I instantly regretted that when I saw there was no place to swap a keycard or connect a connect gear near the door.

"Dammit." I muttered. "The receptionist has a button to open the door."

I walked over to the corpse and looked around the desk. She had a connection gear in the hand that wasn't dangling off the desk. The desk was set up in the corner of the room with a semispherical design. Her chair was between the wall and the desk. Strangely, her grip on the connection gear looked solid. Even if I wasn't suffering from a concussion I wouldn't have liked the idea of prying it from her fingers.

I looked knelt down and looked under the desk, trying to recall where she'd reached when opening the door. Surely enough, there was a panel of buttons. The conversation transpiring from the other room was slight louder from where I knelt, but was still understandable. It only created a distraction as I squinted to read the commands above the buttons, carved into the metal plate. I pressed the one inscribed with the word open, and sure enough, the door sprung open.

My head was still half under the desk when the splitting crack of a gunshot filled the room. Time didn't move for an agonizingly long eternity. It was impossible to hear a bullet cutting through the air, but the voices stopped immediately. The sound from whatever was occurring on the outside of the base was completed muted, making the gunshot even more definitive.

I froze, my first thought being that I wasn't in the line of fire. My second? Rukiro was. I heard a thud and a feminine shriek. I squeezed my eyes shut; wondering if there was going to be more gunfire. There wasn't, though in any real combat situations I wouldn't have moved too quickly, and ducked out from under the desk.

A wave of relief washed over me the moment I saw Rukiro standing and uninjured. It was replaced by a pang of regret when I saw who had been shot. Sayuri was sprawled out on the floor, gasping for breath as Nanami fell to her knees beside her. I felt a shiver run up my spine as her previously calm expression changed to one of terror.

Nanami was calling her name as Sayuri began to cough, her body trembling. I didn't see where she was shot but by Kain and Rukiro's grim expressions I wasn't hopeful. I got to my feet slowly, guilt settling over me as she gagged on her own blood. I walked over, stopping just before the entrance to my father's office, in case there was anymore gunfire.

Nanami lifted Sayuri into a sitting position, as her coughing subsided, the blood she'd coughed up staining her teeth and chin. Her eyes were unfocused though Nanami's were petrified. My gaze drifted downward to see where she'd been hit. The blood that stained her shirt and Nanami's skirt came from a bullet hardly inches away from her heart. I looked away uneasily, knowing there was no helping her.

"Sayuri!" She repeated her voice cracking. "Don't close your eyes! W-we can get help!"

Sayuri seemed to know it was futile. "But everyone here is dead…" Her voice was small and nearly unintelligible. "Do you think…we were supposed to die at the school, too?"

Nanami's hands trembled and tears overflowed from her eyes and she struggled for words before saying, "We not supposed to die!"

"But Nanami…if the soldier hadn't…"

"Stop it! We're not going to die!"

"You're not…" With that said, Sayuri burst into another spasm of coughing. Blood smattered down her shirt and across her limp legs. She looked up into the office, most likely staring into the eyes of her killer. Sayuri looked up shortly thereafter, her eyes widening.

_Her killer…_ I thought inwardly, a sick settling in the pit of my stomach. I looked into the office, unsure what I should hope to see. I assumed what I thought to be the worst; KOS-MOS must have thought it was U-TIC soldier that was there and shot without looking. She wouldn't have recognized Sayuri's biological composition to know better. Sadly, it turned out to be worse than I dreaded.

I stepped back in horror, feeling my fist clench on impulse. The only person bearing a weapon in the room stood behind the desk. His expression was tense but the pistol didn't quiver in his grip even after he realized it wasn't the enemy he'd shot. His lips tightened to form a straight line as he lowered the weapon, very little remorse reflected in his eyes.

"Well…" A mocking masculine voice drawled from the other side of the room, "That wasn't very interesting."

"How…could you?" I asked hollowly, stepping forward to stand in the doorway. KOS-MOS looked down and away as my father's gaze met mine. Rain was beating down on the glass wall behind him and his desk, the red glow of the horizon giving the room a lurid atmosphere.

He set the gun down on the desk, though he still gripped it tightly enough for his knuckles to look white. "It was a mistake." He said flatly.

I felt anger surge up as I demanded, more than half yelling, "Why wouldn't you look before you shot? If KOS-MOS was here why wouldn't you think we wouldn't be far behind?"

I wanted to do something drastic but felt helpless. Even if the situation was different and it wasn't my _father_ of all people who was responsible, I wasn't in any physical condition for it. I heard Rukiro come to stand beside me, his hand gently closing around mine. His eyes met mine briefly though the message was clear; he didn't want me getting worked up again and passing out, either.

"What if it had been me you thoughtlessly shot?" I snapped, reluctant to let the topic go. "Where would that leave you?"

"What matters is that it wasn't." His voice was quiet and he never looked up.

"Well, I can just tell by the greeting this is a cozy little reunion…" The sardonic voice from before cut in, stepping forward from where he'd been dwelling in the corner of the room. I looked up; expecting to recognize the person as an Ormus employee but his face was hidden by a white mask. I let my gaze drop from the peculiar mask and down to his attire. It was all white and just as unusual with intricate details. The strangest part was probably the cape. The last time I'd seen a cape was probably in one of the superhero cartoons I watched as a child.

"You look a lot like her…Miss Uzuki." He said dryly, turning to face me. "You've chosen to carry the burden of Shion's legacy, but do you really know what you're getting into?"

He took a step forward but KOS-MOS snapped into action and stood in front of us, diving Rukiro and me from the intruder. "Go back to Wilhelm." KOS-MOS said firmly, her pistol pointed at the intruder.

He chuckled and his voice lightened as he said, "I have not come to fight you over the protection of the Maiden's grandchild. I would like to inform her companion though he is not worthy of blessing, Wilhelm wants to know if he has it. I do not expect you to comply, so kindly take this as a warning; you are not our only target…_Eleutherios._"

The scornful way he said her configuration's name made me scowl, but KOS-MOS held her hand out in front of us, barring any motion. Before I could have reacted the cloaked man was gone. He disappeared into a flash of red light and left us standing silently in the office. Though the words couldn't draw blood and the gunshot brought fatality, the sound of the ominous threat haunted me more.


	15. Testament

I LIVE!

So, yes, today is the 3rd of September and officially marks one year of me being a member of ! :D Early in the month when I realized this, I was determined to update all my stories. When I realized that the only story I've been updating consistently all summer, All That's Left Behind, had no chance of getting a chapter completed by the third, I was rather disappointed in myself.

Then I decided there was no reason to be. I decided that updating all my neglected stories was more important. Mainly because these are the stories that got me established on and played a big part in keeping me on the website for a whole year. J

So yes, I'm still a bit late. -sweat drop-

Basically, I want to say thanks. Xenosaga was the first community I ever wrote for. I then started in the Valkyrie Profile area and recently I've gotten into Final Fantasy VII. But in the end, Xenosaga is where I started, and it's always a important place to me! :D

So hugs and cookies for you all for sticking with me for one year!

_Xenosaga IV: Der Wille zur Existieren_

_Chapter 15_

_Testament_

A single cloaked figure stood at the highest point in the small town to watch its destruction. It was in a small open chamber on the other side of the area containing the bell that would ring to signal times of the day or holidays. The church had been constructed with forms of architecture that were ancient even compared to Lost Jerusalem's current level of developed.

It was strange to think places that were supposed to be "holy places" that represented "peace" attracted her kind. It was ironic and cruel to those who knew what they really were. No matter how holy a place of prayer could be or how close to a god it could be, nothing could purify the likes of her.

The attack had started in the city and at the Ormus Building at the same time, but the city had fallen under U-TIC's control far faster. It lacked the defenses of the infamous Ormus facility and didn't really stand a chance.

Some sections that had important resources or information were left intact to be patrolled by foot soldiers. Any stations of Ormus' authority within the town would be taken over or bombed from overhead at the start of the attack to ensure the civilians were helpless. The remaining regions void of importance to the company's greater goal were burned.

This was one of those regions.

The woman's aqua cloak flapped around her legs in the wind. It was blowing in the perfect direction and fed the flames. She gazed at the fire engulfing more buildings, hardly seeing the details of the buildings. Her memories of watching fire annihilate a small village and the surrounding fields were far stronger.

She held her mask in her right hand and leaned against the wall tiredly. She had no reason to feel fatigue, even though she was injured, but the body she was using didn't suit her. It rebelled and restricted her original abilities and replaced them with ones that felt strange and difficult to control.

She…was not meant to set foot on Lost Jerusalem a second time. When her body had died, so did her memories. She had hoped her incarnations would reach and see the sacred homeland of Earth, but a body containing her mind and memories was not supposed to exist.

It disrupted all the cycles and created unbalance that was supposed to be destroyed. The world she occupied was fragile thanks to her being part of it again. Horrible things had happened in the past because of her power, but she realized the worse was yet to come when her eyes had opened after death.

She felt a jolt go through her mind and winced. It was terribly painful and distracting, but she knew her presence was needed else ware. She sighed and straightened, scanning the city a final time. If she ever saw it again, it'd be ash and ruins as formidable as her home had been after suffering the same fate.

--

Wilhelm preferred using the bridge of the massive warship for important meetings, but when it came to summoning his Testaments, it was better done away from the crew members. They were a part of the new U-TIC and even military officials in the organization knew little to nothing about the Testaments.

He knew it would take a few moments for them to arrive after he sent the command out, but they were taking an exceptionally long time. He knew most of them were on Lost Jerusalem overseeing the attack or taking care of other assignments on the surface.

Albedo would probably be the last to arrive. He was terribly rebellious and responded poorly to commands. Wilhelm had been wary to bring the once infect U.R.T.V. back into his circle, but he had his uses.

It had been difficult for him to recreate the Eternal Circle of Zarathustra. Kevin Winnicot had turned against him, Virgil lacked any reason to return, and gathering the fragments of Voyager from the U.M.N. would have been more trouble than it was worth.

He had been very pleased when Sheena agreed to assisting him. By then he'd already collected the empty shell that was "Sherah," thus making his control over that entity complete. Sherah was incomplete and couldn't assist the group in any clear way.

He doubted anyone but Sheena herself knew that just by sitting silently and staring at the floor, Sherah was serving her purpose perfectly.

He leaned back in his chair with a slight smirk. _That Hikaru Uzuki has no idea what she's playing at. KOS-MOS will continue onward, no doubt, but that girl will never expect that her part is already done. She's a tool now outdated and ready to be discarded…_

_…all because of Sherah;_ _U-TIC's lovely little doll._

His Testament clad in blue appeared first.

"Wilhelm, Yeshua has come in contact with the Green Testament," the man spoke urgently. "It was in one of the cities before it burned. She's alright, but we don't know where Yeshua is now."

Wilhelm nodded and spoke down to his disciple without interest. "Her cloak is aqua, to match the eye color that transcends her incarnations…not green."

"Sir…," the Testament said sternly, removing his mask with a frown, "aren't you concerned by this?"

"No. It matters not."

The Testament looked slightly discouraged. Wilhelm was used to him overreacting to anything that concerned Sheena, though he didn't have any real connection to the woman. It was convenient he was willing to assist, but seeking remnants of a persona Sheena couldn't possible contain the memories of was tiresome.

Before he could object further, Albedo appeared cackling to himself madly.

"Those children are so stupid! They're naive and lost shooting water guns at rapid fire artillery. Why can't we just kill the girl and take our target?"

"There is no reason to kill Hikaru," Wilhelm said simply.

"But why?" Albedo interjected, "She has no further use. KOS-MOS is functioning, let's discard her before she causes any trouble."

A sadistic, knowing smile played at Wilhelm's lips. "Can I mere girl who's body is already starting to decay create _problems_ for someone of your stature?"

Albedo probably had a snide reply but the two missing Testaments then appeared. Sheena nearly dropped to her knees when the space-time transfer was complete and she appeared in Wilhelm's office. She wasn't as good at them as the other Testaments and her injured condition probably didn't help.

Wilhelm knew she wouldn't stay his alley forever; her true reasons for agreeing to come back were very different from his objectives. But until that time came, she was just the third Testament under his command.

--

Blood dripped down her right arm, the material of her uniform near the injury itself was quickly being soaked with the dark liquid. The injury was a deep cut on her shoulder and down the front of her arm. The Testament clad in red that appeared with her didn't seem fazed, though the Blue Testament stepped close to her.

"Are you alright?" he asked hurriedly, watching fearfully as blood dripped from her glove to the floor. It then disappeared on the dark red carpet.

_I never really connected it to the color of blood…_ He thought inwardly, grimacing slightly.

"I'm fine," Sheena said passively, her free hand over her wound. He was unconvinced with her replies and knew by her demeanor the wound was more taxing than she wanted Wilhelm or the other Testaments to know. Nevertheless, he got back into line as Sheena straightened. Her eyes met Wilhelm's firmly and defiantly.

She was much shorter than her three comrades, and probably the most openly determined. Her eyes burned with a will close to hate. At times, she behaved exactly as his younger sister had.

She usually acted more confident and hardened to the world. He had no real reason to, but he suspected her cynical outlook on everything transcended to her life as a human. He had become a Testament after her, but still senses she'd changed a great deal since coming into Wilhelm's service.

"Albedo," Wilhelm addressed the former U.R.T.V., who rolled his eyes with boredom, "inform us of your accomplishments."

"You know what I did. I scared the little brats and confused them. I still think we should take a poll about killing the girl, majority winning."

"Hikaru must live," Sheena said with an exasperated sigh, "Sherah behaves strangely when close to her. She also is subject to human curiosity. That will bring her closer to U-TIC, thus bringing her into dangerous situations. KOS-MOS will have no choice but to follow her."

"Exactly," Wilhelm agreed, "once KOS-MOS is in our possession, we will discard her. And please stop repeating that question, for the answer won't change for some time."

Albedo sighed to sound his disappointment. Sheena closed her eyes, trying not to let her expression betray her. "Besides…U-DO will kill her soon enough."

The Blue Testament frowned slightly; he recognized the gentle but forlorn tone she spoke in.

_Her voice is the same. She moves like she did. I know they don't have the same memories…and statically, what Wilhelm did is impossible, so there should be remnants of her reincarnations in her consciousness. She's a different person._

_**But she still looks so much like Shion.**_

--

Author's Note: Big news! I've been thinking about it a lot, but I'm officially renaming Xenosaga IV. There are a lot of reasons that went into this title, and I was very pleased to have the help of my good friend **Kei.C **when it came to translating the title! :D Much wuv and hugs for her!

XSIV, at last, has a complete title:

___**Xenosaga IV: Der Wille zur Existieren**_

___**Xenosaga IV: The Will to Exist**_


	16. Colors

Author's rant: Okay, this'll be a quick one. It's more of an announcement, lucky for you. XD

I'd like to introduce my new updating policy. A lot of my XS readers who have me on their alert list probably noticed I've been updating a lot of my Valkyrie Profile and Final Fantasy related projects very often then not updating them for a long time, and they when I do update a lot, it's two or more items a week than nothing.

Since that's really annoying for you as the reader and me as the writer, I've decided my new policy will to be to select a story to update at random every week. That way, nothing should get neglected too long and it should stop me from obsessing over one fandom and ignoring everything else.

I'm really nuts about weekly updates, but doing it for two and more stories just isn't within my ability. I hope to make gaps between updating each individual story less than a month from here on out.

I've probably said this before, but to everyone who is still reading, thanks so much for all your feedback and support! :D All your reviews and hits are much appreciated…cookies for you all!

_Xenosaga IV: Der Wille zur Existieren_

_Chapter 16_

_Colors_

Rukiro guided me gently toward the door of the ship perched just outside the back exit of the Ormus building. The Dammerung, at Midori's request, had sent a large escape pod with a combat pilot down to Earth to get us back to the ship.

He lifted me up slightly to make the high step into the small craft. I collapsed into the seat, though a small voice in the back of my head reminded me not to let my head loll against the back of the seat. I had to at least maintain _some_ degree of strength while my father was around, even if he was distracted.

Evidently, Ormus' new headquarters was being shifted to the Dammerung. Thinking back to the organization the name "Ormus" referred to back when the ship was constructed, it almost seemed like a cruel twist of fate.

My father had come surprisingly willingly. Subsequently, he'd started barking orders into his connection gear to Midori and countless others as soon as we started heading toward the exit. More high-ranking Ormus employees than I had calculated were already transferred. _I wonder if the Dammerung crew is going to like all this…or if it was planned all along…that ship has been acting like a planet since before the Michtam Tragedy._

The most reluctant person to come had turned out to be Nanami. Even KOS-MOS' logic was hardly enough to make her agree and leave Sayuri's body behind. We'd tried to ration with her that we'd be returning shortly and that the base was going to be locked, but she was as aware as my father was Sayuri would probably never gain a proper burial. She hadn't spoken since we left my father's office.

_I'm not happy about that girl's death…she was very annoying, and made a problem of herself the entire time. But…do I really care? I don't feel any pain, just anger. Am I just trying to use him murdering her as an excuse not to talk to him?_

_KOS-MOS would call me foolish…so would most normal humans though…_

Rukiro then entered the ship on my left and closed the door behind him. I watched in an almost dream-like haze as Kain sat down on the row of seats in front of us and KOS-MOS helped Nanami up to sit beside him. Her expression was void of emotion; she looked as lost between unaffected and forlorn as KOS-MOS had while in service of Vector.

My father took his seat beside the pilot in the front of the craft as KOS-MOS sat at my right and sealed the final hatch. I felt the ship begin to hover and ascend above the trees and eventually, the Ormus Building.

"_Capable of communicating with U-DO…" "Conveying will to U-DO…"_

_Does U-DO have a real name? The abbreviation was just adopted to hide the true meaning…it most have several names… …Why the hell am I even thinking about something as mundane as a name?_

_If U-DO is some form of a "god" or posses powers that are "godlike" what does that make my father? What does it make __**me**__? Is that how he reconstructed Ormus and recovered the Zohar, with the help of U-DO? Can U-DO even intervene that bluntly…?_

_What does the word "god" even mean now?_

A pang of pain shot though my mind as my thoughts dropped deeper into disorder. I let my head lean against Rukiro's shoulder and resigned myself to no deep thinking. Nevertheless, the memory of the haunting dream remained. I remembered the account of the "strange time paradox" Shion had mentioned in the log she kept regarding KOS-MOS' status and progress, but never spent an amazing amount of time thinking about it.

_I guess I finally have something in common with Shion other than working on KOS-MOS…but I can't complain about the truth. Before any of this started I __**wanted **__a connection with U-DO, just to further my knowledge._

_The only thing that has happened was one of my wishes coming true._

I let my eyes droop closed, trying to resist the inevitable dissatisfaction that was slowly starting to veil my thoughts. The ship continued to ascend and left be feeling slightly nauseous. I reached over and slide my hand into Rukiro's as I felt myself falling asleep.

--

_"Feb…" Shion whispered breathlessly as the rain continued to beat down upon the remains of the church._

_"Shion!" Her older brother called as he hurried to stand beside her._

_"Jin?" She asked, her eyes unfocused._

_"Shion, stand up." He said firmly. "I know you're in pain, but right now, we have to save the girl. We have to save you."_

_KOS-MOS has followed but more slowly. She watched as Shion stared up at her brother and knelt down beside her. Shion looked up and her eyes met the red spheres that were KOS-MOS'. She blinked and her eyes seemed to regain focus._

_"Yeah." She said, looking up to Jin. KOS-MOS gently pulled on her shoulder before she stood, casting one last forlorn look at what remained of the altar._

_--_

_**Who is…Feb?**_

_--_

_"Ever since I existed…my power of Anima has caused the universe to tread the path toward destruction," he explained, regret evident in his voice. His expression was enigmatic but his eyes also reflected sadness._

_"Your power of Anima?" Shion asked quickly, clearly surprised. _

_"To prevent the destruction of the universe…and to save me…Mary separated the power of Anima into the vessels and sealed them. Costing her life…," he added quietly, looking down at the floor darkly for a moment. Not that he should still harbor such remorse. After all, the final crescendo of their meeting was happening as he spoke. _

_"Sealed by her, I lost my power and became a spectator. All that time, I didn't know what the meaning, Anima, this power held or why I had this power," he said, letting a slight sad smile show. "But now I know what it means for me to finally use this power," he said confidently, "You taught me that."_

_"chaos…," Shion trailed off, expression a combination of nostalgia and pain._

--

Sherah exited the office first and immediately turned right in the large, empty hall. The other Testaments followed her out of the office but turned left. None of them had enough interest in the crew's activities to head that way.

One, however, did follow her. She hears his hurried footsteps and closed her eyes tightly, trying not to snap at him with something rude. _He can't give me any peace, can he?_ she wondered sourly.

"You don't have to follow me," she said icily, "telling me endless stories can't make me remember a phase of my consciousness that I did not live."

Silence greeted her. She thought he wasn't going to reply, but it was only a false hope. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go to the Dammerung."

"Why? Don't feel like letting Hikaru have any rest?"

"Well," began, the pause always ensuring a long explanation, "I didn't want to ask Wilhelm while the others were there, but I don't think it's best for chaos and KOS-MOS to meet so soon."

"Yeshua?" Sherah asked with a snort. "If he wants to be disappointed again, there's no reason for us to stop it."

_It's not like he wants to see me._

The Blue Testament didn't seem affected. "Don't you think it would be bad if she was defeated before the battle has truly begun?"

"The battle we're creating, that is…I don't think he's stopped 'fighting' in quite a while," Sherah shot back darkly. "Wilhelm wouldn't approve of such illogical thought."

"Wasn't Yeshua your friend?"

Sherah reopened her eyes in hope to stop the bittersweet memories that sprung into her mind from replaying. "You could say that."

Thankfully, he didn't continue to question her about _that _matter. His voice became serious and rather businesslike. "So we'll leave in an hour?"

"Good enough. Shall we meet at the docking bay?" she asked uninterestedly.

"Sure," he replied confidently.

"I mean the Dammerung's docking bay."

"Oh…no problem."

She turned to face him, expression twisting into a cruel smirk. He saw his expression become slightly apprehensive; if he had gathered _anything _about who he was truly dealing with now, it was that her disposition was far colder than Shion's. "Should I wear a Vector uniform?"

His expression darkened noticeably. Sherah's smirk deepened, figuring a phantom-like memory had appeared in his mind, just like the mention of Yeshua had done to her. "I don't think it'll be that necessary to create confusion," he replied, managing to maintain an enigmatic tone.

"Mmm…I'll definitely shall, then. If I do, they probably won't call you crazy there," with that said, she turned on her heel and started down the hall in a quick walk. She head the Blue Testament sigh as she disappeared behind the corner.

It only took her a few minutes to reach the room she'd been appointed. She'd been asked several times why she wanted to live so close to their scientist's rooms rather than on the floor reserved for Wilhelm's "exclusive" residents, but had always avoided giving a straight answer. Mainly because, in reality, there was no reason behind it.

--

A small group of employees watched as the doors open to admit the small escape pod into the air lock. The doors closed and the area was de-pressurized, leaving them all to wait a few moments longer. Many were anxious to meet its passengers; the head of Ormus that controlled a great deal of Lost Jerusalem's rebuilding was quite a guest.

Two other decedents of families that remained famous, even if only in name to most, were also anticipated. It would be a first for the Dammerung in a very long time that someone with the last name of "Uzuki" would set foot on the premises.

It was, misfortunately for the rest of the crew present, unlikely they'd get to meet them though. Arku Uzuki would hurry to the command post he'd been appointed and Hikaru would probably require immediate medical treatment for all the wounds she'd received escaping her home planet and the enemy ship. Rukiro would probably follow her.

He doubted there would be any interested in the two civilians that had ended up accompanying them. The young, low-ranking Ormus pilot, if he was lucky, might be employed by the commander of the Dammerung. The student with them would probably be escorted to areas set aside for other evacuees of Lost Jerusalem.

The memory of the previous time he'd overseen an evacuation of the same planet was painful and present, but he dismissed it the best he could. Nevertheless, it was remarkable similar; it left him to hope it wasn't a permanent exodus, like last time.

Though he doubted any of the others would know anything beyond her name, the young man who stood at the front of the group, awaited the arrival of a different occupant of the shuttle.

Or more specifically, if her eyes were truly caught between colors defining personas.

--

Sherah examiner her reflection in the mirror she'd requested to be placed in her room. Other than that, the room reflected little personalization or customization. If she wasn't on a mission, she avoided spending time in the small and confined area. Seeing as she scantly needed sleep, it was seldom used.

_Goodness, these old Vector uniforms certainly are short…if women in the time I was human wore something like this, they'd probably be arrested for indecent public showing…even with these godforsaken fat-sucking pantyhose…_

Nevertheless, the uniform fit her well. She pulled the small jacket on over her shoulders and adjusted the collar and portion that closed around hr neck. She sat down on the edge of her neatly made bed to pull the soft, leather boots on. The heels made a metallic _click_ against the metal floor as she returned to the mirror.

She straightened and tied her hair back so it wasn't in her face. She frowned when she noticed the edge of a scar was visible on her chest, but dismissed it with a sigh. Though they weren't part of the uniform, she pulled a pair of black gloves over her hands to cover the glaringly noticeable white lines on her fingers.

_My skin is quite a bit darker than Shion's…then again, Yeshua wasn't completely reborn until recently. Perhaps only Mary, in that mechanical doll's body, would look out of place in her homeland…_

"How ironically fitting…," she muttered aloud. She inwardly wondered if she still had any earrings, but doubted it.

_The Blue Testament was friends with Yeshua…not in the same I was, of course. Caught between friendship and wanting to be what Mary was to him… I suppose meeting Shion must have been painful for him. I wonder who he was closest to in the end._

_Probably Shion, _she thought sourly. _But…who will he recognize and think of when he sees me…?_

_Sherah or Shion?_

--

Author's rant: Woo-hoo! Another chapter!! Written half on…-insert gasp here- paper! And goodness, FullMetal909, I really, _really_ understand why you say not to do this. T.T It amounts…to…like…nothing on the word processor. Ah well…moving on…

It was kinda, fun, however, because I got to do it in a notebook during math class. XD

Sadly, I must bother my readers with another request! I need to give chaos a legal name. Partly because my editor (yes, Dr. Meh should be taking over editing XSIV chapter before posting soon! :D XSIV is finally loved enough to get special treatment like that XD This one, regretfully, isn't edited though -sweat drop-) will not tolerate his name un-capitalized. For me, it's a love-hate sort of thing. XD The ex-fangirl in me can't not adore him, but the writer in me goes "JEEZ, what a pain in the ass!"

Plus, it'd make sense if he finally had a legal name…it would make him harder to track in the current timeline. Since he's working for an organization on a less personal/familiar basis than he was for the Elsa and Kukai Foundation. Thus, I'm open for suggestions! :D

My first idea was something starting with a Z. XD -brick'd-

Finally, I might be a bit slow replying to reviews or messages in general. I wasn't getting any mail for a while, including reviews, and though I checked all my settings n' stuff, nothing seemed to be amiss. Then I emailed support and 12 hours later I had more than 50 items from . -faint- I'm happy it seems to be working, but just in case it restarts…yeah…

But I'm still 100 reachable at my direct email address and through DeviantART. :D

Now, this shall end my rant…peace like chicken grease!

Next chapter should be up soooooooooooooon!


	17. The Mechanical Doll

Erm, this chapter wasn't up anything close to "soon." T.T But I do have all of the Xenosaga anime on DVD now! For a rainbow of lame reasons, I didn't have the second DVD all last year. -shakes fist at Tower Records and their crappy return policies-

I also want to buy the box set they just released in the name of supporting the series! I probably won't have the cash to until my birthday in June, but I definitely want to get it. I was really determined when the DVDs first started getting released over here because it was my last chance as a dedicated fan to support the best video game series ever made.

Anyway! My goals for the first half of 2009 have been set. I'm going to finish my long-running Valkyrie Profile fan fiction, Valkyrie's Favor, complete a short story called Remember My Name in the FFVII section, and start an Infinite Undiscovery fan fiction called "Chained." I also hope, by the start of 2010, to complete Xenosaga IV: Der Wille zur Existieren.

_Xenosaga IV: Der Wille zur Existieren_

_Chapter 17_

_The Mechanical Doll_

Arku Uzuki was the first out of the shuttle, and walked around employees swarming the platform briskly to reach were Midori Mizrahi waited. She had her connection gear open with a cell phone pressed to her ear, completely oblivious to her boss appearing beside her. He immediately started discussing arrangements to meet with the ship's captain and commander with her.

From a staircase above, two figures in slightly outdated uniforms watched as the rest of the shuttle's occupants emerged. The pilot sent by Vector was closely followed by a young Ormus employee and civilian that had accompanied them. The Ormus pilot gently helped the civilian out, though she didn't seem to have any severe injuries. The two of them got out of the way of the Vector employees as the back doors of the shuttle were opened.

Rukiro Kukai came out first, objecting as two doctors told him to keep out of the way while they transferred the injured and unconscious Hikaru Uzuki to the medical wing for treatment. They told him to wait with the other surviving citizens of the city and refused to acknowledge his requests to remain at Hikaru's side.

The young woman observing the event from high above was quickly distracted when the door on the far side of the shuttle was opened from the inside release. No employee had shown interested in anyone by Arku and Hikaru Uzuki, so the action went unnoticed.

The person who emerged brought a cold smile to the woman's lips. "Silvery white hair with hardly and blue left?" she asked with a scoff. "What irony…"

She had been resting her elbows against the hard metal railing but straightened and took a step back into the shadows. The click of her heel and tug on her companion's sleeve was just loud enough for the android to hear. Without any real reason, for the sound was routine in the busy docking bay, she turned around and looked up immediately. By the time her eyes settled on the location the sound had come from, the staircase was empty.

A slight disappointed frown crossed KOS-MOS' expression.

"I wonder what Yeshua thinks of that," Sherah said bitterly, standing in the cover of a shadow cast by the staircase above. "She looks less like Mary than she did over a hundred years ago. He can hardly deceive himself this time…it must be fairly tormenting for him, actually. So much time has passed and the mechanical doll is resurrected time and time again but the real person only gets further away."

"Who do you hate him so much?" the Blue Testament, also in a Vector uniform, demanded. "I knew him when I was alive and he was always a kind person. That's a quality that can't be faked. What could he possibly have done to you back in the Land of Origin?"

Sherah didn't meet his eyes nor slow her stride as she replied. "It's what he didn't do. Him and Mary, that is."

The Blue Testament wasn't giving up as quickly that time, and opened his mouth to continue the argument. "Shion trusted him with her life."

Before he got the chance to continue, Sherah stepped in front of him and glared coldly, her patience gone. He stopped walking and returned her stare with a stern look.

"Don't interfere. Just because Shion couldn't remember what happened and subsequently befriended him doesn't mean that temporary accord changed anything for me."

"Even so, surely you have good memories involving him. You and Mary were like sisters back then, how could so much have changed? KOS-MOS swore to protect Shion and gave her life on Michtam to protect both you _and_ Shion."

"A machine does not _live,_" Sheena said retorted bitterly. "Shion's very existence was negated when I opened my eyes in this body. No one and nothing can inherit her memories and persona now, not even after I die."

"But Sherah-"

"Sherah will die when Wilhelm gives the command! She only lives as long as the rest of these useless heirs. Once her roll is complete, she'll be destroyed with the uninvolved like Hikaru. A tool is a tool; they're discarded when they're no longer useful."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_KOS-MOS' eyes glowed a vibrant blue as she slowly walked up the large stair case. Her boots produced a metal clicked as she walked with ominous slowness. She was the only one in her group who stood; Wilhelm had distorted the gravity in the room to reduce the rest of her comrades to the floor. The sight of the android, complete and in her most powerful form, was beautiful and haunting at the same time._

_She moved with the elegance and grace of Mary, her long hair swaying with every step as Mary's raven black hair would have. _

_"Shion," she said, addressing her creation who was withering in pain on the floor. Her eyes were closed tightly and her expression distorted into one of agony; the crushing pressure weighing down on her wasn't the only cause. Her body emitted a faint, unnatural purple glow._

_"No, don't!" Allen called out, trying to get to his feet despite the increased gravity. "KOS-MOS!"_

_"Stop right there! Mary!" Kevin commanded authoritatively._

_"No, stop!" Shion moaned as KOS-MOS gently picked her up. She carried Shion toward the alter where Wilhelm and Kevin stood, the legendary unit Zarathustra behind them._

_"That's right," Wilhelm said knowingly. "You can't defy me. This fate has been destined…right from the time you sealed Anima. How does it feel…to be betrayed by someone you once trusted, Shion? In order to save you," Wilhelm said as KOS-MOS placed the barely-conscious Shion down, "Mary intends to ignore your will, and activate Zarathustra."_

_KOS-MOS placed Shion down just as gently as when she'd lifted her up. Her expression was impassive, though a fiery will burned behind her cerulean eyes. She removed the pendant from around Shion's neck, snapping the chain without hesitation. She continued to go up the stairs, leading to the highest platform._

_"No!" Shion groaned, eyes wide with fear. Her hand moved slightly, as though she was attempting to reach out and stop the android, but she didn't have the strength._

_KOS-MOS reached the top and stopped in front of Wilhelm. She held the pendant out to the Guardian of the Lower Dimension._

_A smug smirk crossed his face. "Very good," he said approvingly, "You have done well. With this, we will be able to live forever."_

_KOS-MOS opened her fist, showing the pendant to him as Shion called her name once more. She didn't turn around to look, though she seemed to know Yeshua's - chaos' eyes were also forlorn, reflecting a deep betrayal. __**How many times…did we act against Wilhelm when he tried to execute us, since we were a threat to this Domain? **_

_KOS-MOS' hand abruptly closed around the pendant, shattering the fragile jewel._

_Wilhelm's eyes widened in surprise. "What are you doing?" he demanded, expression showing panic for what was possibly the first time, "Mary! You fool! Now this universe will be completely destroyed."_

_KOS-MOS turned around, walking down the platform back to Shion._

_"Even Yeshua will perish," Wilhelm insisted, desperate to make her realize the depth of her actions. "Mary, is this what you really want?"_

_KOS-MOS helped Shion to her feet and opened her eyes slowly. They were no longer a clear, luminescent azure. They were the deep, bloody red the android had possessed every moment she was herself._

_"I am not Mary." she said carefully and firmly, "I am…KOS-MOS!"_

_With that said, expression suddenly determined, Kevin jumped to his feet and with unforgettable grace and swiftness, ran Wilhelm through. Shion's eyes widened as the glow surrounding her body and pain plaguing it disappeared instantly. Yeshua watched as the events unfolded, eyes transfixed on KOS-MOS most of the time._

_Blood smattered on the floor as the sickening sound of flesh being torn and organs punctured resonated. The dark color of blood stained his glove and arm, though the shade was almost identical to that of his cloak._

_Yeshua winced; Wilhelm's body was jerked forward and his expression darkened, though it was enough to disrupt his manipulations of his surroundings, it wasn't nearly enough to end his life. The man straightened, looking unsurprised, as a small trickle of blood slipped through his lips and dripped down his chin._

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Nagamasa Togashi," Arku Uzuki addressed, "it's good to see you are well, Captain."

Nagamasa stood and walked around his desk to shake the older man's hand. Though he held the prestigious position as the Dammerung's captain, he knew the CEO of Ormus possessed a far greater political power. "I am glad to know you were able to escape U-TIC's attack, Mr. Uzuki. The appearance of their fleet was sudden and we were unsure if you would be ready for it in such peaceful times. U-TIC was viewed as a dead organization until we learned Wilhelm had taken control of it."

"The era is no longer peaceful," Arku said seriously. "We lost our main base and the citizen fatalities are well into the thousands. We were not ready."

Nagamasa returned to his chair and motioned for Arku to take one of the two seats on the other side. "How did the city fair?"

"Half was set ablaze and another large portion was bombed. The unscathed sectors are now occupied and raided by the enemy. Their soldiers released a toxin that plagued Labyrinthos in the era of Old Miltia. My own escape was merely an unplanned incident executed by my daughter. I did no intent to leave.

Nagamasa nodded, frowning. "Nevertheless…it is not something to be regretted. People need a strong leader to make the decisions in good times and during tragedies. Going down with ones base or ship is not honorable if it leads to losing more lives."

"I know," Arku responded, lacking interesting in explaining _everything _that had happened to the younger captain and commander.

"I have not viewed the entire index of members of your organization that have come aboard the Dammerung, but I understand there are a lot. How bad were the fatalities of your employees?"

"Midori Mizrahi, my personal assistant, has counted over a hundred deaths in our engineering and research departments. The combat units were all but annihilated."

"That is misfortunate…U-TIC must have been plotting this for a long time."

"Wilhelm himself was part of the infiltration."

Nagamasa's expression was clearly surprised. "He came to the base in person? Why did he take such a risk?"

"He targeted KOS-MOS, the subject of one of less renown projects. His attempt was intercepted when she awoke prematurely and killed his guards. Regrettably, he was then allowed to escape when my daughter got involved."

"I suppose Miss Hikaru was…quite involved in this tragedy," Nagamasa observed, rather surprised. He instructed his underlings to ensure the safety of Hikaru, but only with the knowledge that she was an Uzuki; he hadn't expected her deep involvement with Ormus. "Are his ideals…the same as they were during the Michtam Controversy?"

"In the state of the world as it is now, it is hard to say if his previous goal of Eternal Reoccurrence is even possible. We can only theorize of what he was planned, but I do not doubt KOS-MOS, the second unit, and any reincarnations of consciousnesses that cannot leave our Domain lie at the heart of it. If the request is within your means, it is urgent that we find the Maiden of Mary."

"You mentioned KOS-MOS was back online. If the information is known within the rank I hold, may I know who repaired her? Such an achievement is just short of a miracle, surely that person…as long as they survived the attack…would be able to assist in locating the Maiden."

Arku Uzuki was silent for a moment. "The creator of the current KOS-MOS is Hikaru Uzuki."

Nagamasa's expression became inquisitive, though a little disbelieving. "Hikaru? Your daughter was able to do _that?_ Isn't she younger than twenty?"

"It can only be imagined a portion of her knowledge and experience is something she inherited. I also suspect a connection forged with an otherworldly being granted her this ability."

The young captain's eyes darkened immediately. "I apologize…I did not think of U-DO."

"It is not a secret. It has been developing and becoming increasingly apparent since she began the project."

_What? _Nagamasa thought, hiding his revulsion behind an impassive expression. _Did…did this man knowingly allow his only daughter to forge a connection with U-DO just to further the advancement of a project? That couldn't be…who in their right mind could stand by and permit the sacrifice of a heir's life to imbue a mechanical doll with spirit?_

"Is something wrong?" Arku asked flatly, interrupting his thoughts.

"N-no, of course not," Nagamasa stammered, clearing his throat and regaining focus on the conversation. "The Dammerung will be more than happy to assist in reclaiming your base. Do you have a secondary base you con fall back to until it's restored?"

"Yes," Arku replied, "It's located near Jerusalem. The land there isn't very populated now, so it's quite expansive. You could even land the Dammerung itself."

"Interesting; it sounds like an impressive sight. Do inform us as soon as you wish to go there. We shall gladly transport you, free of charge."

"Thank you," Arku said with a nod. "We have a few reconnaissance mission to carry out first at our old base before moving. I do not intend to take the main base away from U-TIC just yet."

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When I opened my eyes, my vision was bleary and I struggled to remember where I was. Too much had happened; partly because this felt like the umpteenth time I was waking up in concussion or drug induced listless state.

A nurse dressed in a clear white uniform was humming a pleasant melody as she adjusted an arrangement of flowers on the other side of the room. It rested on a shelf, and several of the lilies matched the pink decoration in her hair. She had short brown hair and bright eyes. I heard her walk over to the left and the sound of running water started. My vision clarified as she turned the faucet off and dried her hands, then began to ready a vaccination.

_A needle. _I thought randomly. _They never bothered me, but when Rukiro was little, he'd run out of the room and cause a huge fuss at the doctor's office…there was that one time he dashed to the exit and through the waiting room, knocking a chair over and landing on the secretary's desk, making a huge mess. I think a few of the other smaller children started to cry, too._

_…Why do sedatives make me so reflective instead of just unfocused?_

"Ah, you're awake!" she said cheerfully when she turned around. "It's good to see you conscious, Miss Uzuki. I'm your doctor; please call me Oichi."

"Is this…the Dammerung?" I asked disconcertedly.

"That's right," she replied, her Asian eyes dancing. "You're recovering aboard the Dammerung. You were unconscious for a day when we used Nan treatment on your wounds. You still have a mild concussion though, so don't worry if you still feel lightheaded. They intend to release you tomorrow or the next day, pending on the speed of your recovery."

"What happened to the people who were with me?"

"I'm sorry, I only know what Nagamasa Togashi shared with me. Your friend, Rukiro Kukai wasn't seriously injured. I tended a few minor wounds but he was released within the hour. In fact, he brought you those flowers this morning. The civilian girl you were accompanied by also a few small wounds that were treated by one of my assistants. Mr. Uzuki was, of course, given a room and met with the captain, Nagamasa Togashi."

"What about the other woman that was with me? She looks to be about eighteen…she has silvery hair."

"Hmm, was her name Cosmos?"

"KOS-MOS," I corrected automatically.

"Ah, right. She was sent to a private lab in the Science Department with orders from Zion Hawking to be left alone until you awoke."

"Who's that?" I asked suspiciously.

Oichi giggled in reply. "The only member of the research division to have a fan club! I'm not a member, but he has a pretty affluent position around here. You don't have to worry though, none of his orders are ever violated."

_A…fan club…? But it sounds like he knows what KOS-MOS is…or was informed of the project. Could this guy me in my father's loop or is he…?_

"Hey, what does this Zion guy look like?" I asked curiously.

"Um, he has short silver hair and very unique eyes. They're a translucent blue-green, if I remember correctly. He's quite handsome," she added, expression becoming dreamy as she continued, "though I only have eyes for Nagamasa, so I don't really pay much attention…"

She giggled then stopped, blinking suddenly. "Oh, um, don't tell anyone I said that! You know, he's the captain and I'm just a doctor after all…and…um…yeah, do you mind just keeping that between us?" she asked, laughing nervously.

"Sure…,"

She heaved a sigh of relief, thanking me profusely. "Thank goodness! I really appreciate it, he wouldn't be pleased if that got around…," she continued, though I was hardly listening though.

_chaos?_

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Author's note: I apologize if my novelization of the flashback was a little off. It's from a file of scripts I typed in…2007. -sweat drop- Yes, I'm not kidding. 2007. X.X My writing has come…a little too far since then. XD But I did add to it, so I hope I still did it justice. Thanks for reading and please review!

It has been proven that when poked, I update faster. XD So poke away and spam me so I feel too guilty to ignore XSIV for very long. :D

And now I shall return to my Xbox360 and copy of Star Ocean: The Last Hope. -shifty eyes-


	18. Fill My Empty Heart

Author's note: Not much to say for a change. I've updated in a tolerable amount of time and very little has changed… Oh! But I did finally figure out how to insert letters with accent marks over letters in Microsoft Works! I always knew about the Special Characters menu, but I never really could use it…sorry I'm not as tech savvy as I let on sometimes. XD

It's kind of amazing that I've poked around trying to figure out how to add accents to letters for at least two years and failed miserably every single time… Until I try on a day with four mere hours of fitful sleep keeping my conscious. XD I didn't feel rested at all when I had to get in the shower this morning. I thought, "Wait, didn't I just lay down? I was plotting a chapter…and couldn't fall asleep…and now it's dawn?" There are even bags under my eyes…O.O It's been a very long time since I've seen those. Or remembered to look…anyway… XD

So, as long it carries over to , Dammerüng shall finally be spelled correctly with a little ü! At long last! -rather proud-

-brick'd- I wonder how many other words I need to go through my documents and find that were supposed to have marks over the letters that I couldn't add…

Please enjoy the chapter. XD

_Xenosaga IV: Der Wille zur Existieren_

_Chapter 18_

_Fill My Empty Heart_

The small lab was occupied only by two computer consoles along the walls and the closed maintenance bed in the center. The "bed" was a sleek silver in color, though the left side reflected a lurid past. There was a smatter of dried, dark red blood on the left side. It wasn't attached to the floor, though there were several wires connecting the console to the computers.

All was silent and still in the dimly lit lab. The bright overhead lights were left off since the lab had been unoccupied; until recently. The only light that illuminated the room was a pale blue glow emitting from the sides of the maintenance bed. It gave the room a mysterious though serene feeling.

It at least seemed calm for the single person who entered. He walked toward the coffin like bed unhurriedly, a small smile coming across his lips. He stopped at the side of the pod and pressed a few icons on the holographic keyboard that materialized over the unit. _Ah…it isn't a wonder Wilhelm was able to hack the password so easily; she made it my previous name. _The lid slowly began to raise up, sending a wave of cold air billowing across the floor.

The mist increased as the lid reached its tallest height. It sent a chill throughout the lab before it cleared, revealing the android inside. She was laying down in the small enclosed area, eyes closed in an artificial form of sleep.

"You're always asleep when I look for you," he said warmly, smiling at the peaceful expression on her face. "Mary always fell asleep if she had to wait too long…she'd always blame it on me taking too long to arrive though."

He brushed a strand of her silvery hair away from her closed eyes. Her long hair would have been white if it weren't for the beautiful though unnatural shine it possessed. There was a tint of blue at the very bottom of her hair, though the rest was the same shimmering silver.

Her attire was simpler than he'd seen it in the hands of Vector. There was no more external Hilbert Effect Generator atop her forehead, nor was there a tattoo inscribed with her title. Thin black gloves covered her hands and black, metal bands around her wrists rested above them. He distantly remembered the list of armaments Hikaru Uzuki had equipped within the small devices; it was quite extensive and replaced the need to weaponry that transformed in place of her hands.

She worse a tight white shirt of synthetic material that lead up to a familiar band around her neck; there was no doubt it the devices within the band were used to initiate one of the android's most deadly attacks. She wore a white skirt and black guards around her hips. The tall thigh boots she wore were also black with blue edging along the top.

"You protected Hikaru so carefully though," he murmured, "and you'll only open your eyes at her command, correct? It's a pity…that she couldn't be the Maiden of Mary. But I suppose such a fortunate situation could not repeat again. Nevertheless…I do hope to see you both awake before you depart."

He stepped away from her sleeping form and input the command to close the lid. "Then again, there wouldn't be any Vector logos on your frame anymore," he said with an ironic chuckle, "I never would have thought if you fell into the hands of Ormus that it'd be a blessing."

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_Nephilim and chaos sat atop the edge of one of the massive superstructures that populated the massive city. The sun was setting and the sky was dyed brilliant shades of orange and yellow. A golden glow was cast over the bustling city. It gave the technologically advanced metropolis a calm aura despite the cars speeding by far below the two of them._

_Nephilim's form was translucent and emitted a golden glow slightly more vibrant than the one reflected throughout area. "I knew I wouldn't be able to tell her."_

_"I know," chaos replied, looking toward the darkening horizon._

_Even when the sun would eventually set, so much artificial light would illuminate the nonstop streets and walkways the stars would be invisible. The movement couldn't stop; there were too many people and things happening in the thickly populated metropolis._

_"The truth is too hard for Shion right now," Nephilim said sadly, "If she let it pass without knowing, it would be so much easier."_

_"Learning the truth doesn't always lead to happiness. They might even be better off if they lived without it," chaos paused, looking down to complex system of highways below. "But sometimes, the truth seeks you out. I think the fact that Shion is here is telling us that. She has to learn the truth."_

_"Maybe so," Nephilim admitted softly, "But it's only a short manner of time until Shion's heart and body are--"_

_"What if it's inevitable?" chaos questioned, looking up to the sky suddenly. "My existence and yours…may be an inevitable part of this world where all things flow to a certain point. If our reason for existing is that we are meant to exist…"_

_"I don't think there's only a single future," Nephilim mused, looking up to her companion. "A single human thought can change the world. You're the one who taught people that."_

_"What I can do is limited," chaos said regretfully, "I still don't even know how I should use this power. Why am I allowed to exist?"_

_Nephilim looked away disappointedly. "chaos…"_

_"I want to believe in the existence of order born from discord," chaos explained, gaze returning to the half obscured horizon. "That's why I'm with them."_

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I suppressed a yawned and rested my head against the wall behind the bench. Despite having slept for the larger portion of the last two days, the endless dreams had kept me from staying asleep very long. I'd always wake up between dreams and toss and turn if they were nightmares.

The temperature of all the rooms on the Dammerüng were at a set, controlled level. The air perfectly fresh though it lacked the purity of natural, Earth air. _Kevin Winnicot…_ I thought, letting my eyes droop closed. _He betrayed Wilhelm in the very end for KOS-MOS and Shion…I guess he really did love her._

_"We have a request of you, Miss Uzuki. Kevin Winnicot was unable to resurrect Mary Magdalene, but I do not doubt that you could attain such a feat. We recovered the remains of T-elos and would like to see what would happen if she, too, awoke."_

I opened my eyes for a moment and stared up at the ceiling blankly. "Mary…you said you willing sacrificed yourself and that you can't be reborn. But Wilhelm…the Guardian of this dimension, is positive that it's possible…"

_She said Wilhelm believed will and consciousness can't be separate. But KOS-MOS is proof such a thing can happen. She inherited and holds the will and memories of Mary Magdalene but is still her own person. _My eyes drooped closed a second time as I frowned slightly. _Maybe that's the only flaw in Wilhelm's theology. And if that's the case, surely a single consciousness…whose will was inherited by another being…can be resurrected._

_Perhaps I should research other attempts at resurrecting a specific consciousness. I know Joachim Mizrahi attempted it…but it failed and lead the creation of the 100-Series Observational Realian Prototype, codenamed MOMO. Who was he trying to resurrect? I know I read it somewhere in all the documentation of the final years of the T.C. era._

_Darn it. I can't remember. I didn't research much, I was too focused on gathering information on KOS-MOS. It distantly related to U.R.T.V. Unit Number 666, Rubedo, and why his growth was temporarily stunted for fifteen or so years. I remember him, from that dream. I can't remember the connection…but …Wait. Midori would know! She's a Mizrahi; the granddaughter of Joachim, if my knowledge is correct. She might be too old to be part of this generation of decedents._

_…But would she tell me?_

"Hey! Did you fall asleep?"

I blinked and sat up straight, startled by the sudden voice. My gaze settled on a familiar smile and I relaxed, sticking my tongue at him mockingly.

"I wasn't sleeping, Rukiro," I retorted, "just…"

"Nodding off?" he suggested lightheartedly as he held out a hand to help me up. I accepted a little reluctantly and stood. He didn't release my hand immediately; I cast him a momentary, questioning look though it was enough for him to look away an release my hand. I shook my head, a little surprised by his abruptness, but dismissed it.

"I was thinking," I replied as we started walking down the hall.

"Well, I hope it was about what you're going to say to the hotshots in that Science Department. They're fascinated with how you got KOS-MOS functioning again. Though there aren't any Gnosis around, they want to see her in action…some of the weapons developers want your opinions on further equipment they could provide her with."

"Have they woken her up?" I asked crossly as we stepped into an elevator.

"No, there was an order from the top of their division that she be left alone until you were healthy. They had the door locked tight; I'm pretty sure only the person who ordered it…Zion, I think his name was, could get inside," Rukiro affirmed, "Not even the captain had access."

"Zion Hawking," I said absentmindedly, "that's what the doctor who treated me said. "I'm curious about him…hopefully I can met him soon."

"Eh, I didn't think there was anything that special about him," Rukiro said with a shrug as the automatic doors slid closed in front of us. No one else waited in the elevator. "I thought he was a little _too_ interested in you and KOS-MOS."

"You met him?" I asked, raising an eye brow questioningly.

"Briefly. They wanted to know more about an 'apparently normal human' with such an odd bloodline," Rukiro explained, rather coldly. I winced at the comment, mildly surprised they'd taken any interested in him

"They're pretty weird around here, they have so much data on Realians and all the other types of beings that existed back then," Rukiro continued, "It's almost like they know more about us than we do."

"Where they concerned about something or just curious?" I inquired, slipping my connection gear out of my pocket. I opened up the map of the Dammerüng I'd been sent and zoomed into the gray classified area. "I doubt there could be very much unusual about your body, seeing as so much human blood composed the last generation…,"

"In my case, curious. But with you…," he paused, expression darkening considerably.

"What?" I questioned, a little hesitantly. _They couldn't have realized I've forged a connection with U-DO…Rukiro wouldn't have greeted me so calmly if that were the case…_

"Do you really want to know?" he asked, sighing heavily.

"Tell me. I'll just find out myself soon enough," I said worriedly, opening my map building and sync program.

"This is why I don't trust that Zion person," Rukiro began sourly, "They're trying to make excuses up to take KOS-MOS away from Ormus and have her taking commands from the head of the Transcendent Technology Department."

"Transcendent Technology? You mean there's a department here on the Dammerüng dedicated solely to research on the Transcend Christ period of time?"

"They focus on the Miltian Conflict and Michtam Controversy and everything that related to them," Rukiro explained, gaze dropping to the floor, "and they're lead by none other than Zion Hawking. I don't know if this theory came from him, but the reason to take KOS-MOS they told your father…well…,"

An awkward silence filled the small room. The elevator stopped smoothly as the number of the floor and department lit up on the control panel. "What did they say?" I asked softly as the doors slid open.

He looked up to meet my eyes, expression angry but worried. "They said you can't remain so close to KOS-MOS now that she's awake because you'll develop a connection with U-DO. When talking to your father, he…Zion mentioned that since KOS-MOS draws from the power of U-DO, using the Zohar as a door, that remaining in close proximity with her would aggravate your condition and shorten your life," Rukiro paused, grabbing my hand suddenly. "I wasn't supposed to hear their conversation, but he said like…you already were connected. But that's a lie…right?"

I bit my lower lip, simply staring to the floor. _chaos…he said that I was connected to U-DO at the Beach of Nothingness. It'd explain a lot…but Rukiro doesn't know the extend of how much I've been passing out and having the strange dreams. What would he do if he knew I was going to die? Ever since I located KOS-MOS' frame…all those months ago…he's been so worried about the risk of a connection._

"Hikari?" he asked, expression tense as a small beep from the elevator sounded.

_Why does he have to use that old nickname __**now**__? I can't… How can I…?_

The doors slid open as a looked up and forced a smile. His expression was deadly serious and his grip on my hand almost painfully tight. I looked straight into his eyes for a moment, unable to ignore the shadow of fear reflected in their cerulean depths.

"Of course it's a lie."

He didn't looked entirely convinced as returned my gaze, scanning my eyes for a the sign of untruthfulness. He released my hand as we exited the elevator and started down the hall. There was only one door on the far side and young woman in a Vector uniform who stood in front of it turned around and greeted us with smile. It was a few moments before we reached the end of the long hall and she bowed her head when we reached her.

_Is this…just another nightmare?_

"Good afternoon, Miss Uzuki, Mr. Kukai," she said politely, "Mr. Hawking has asked me to escort you to KOS-MOS. He and several other colleagues in of the Transcend Technology Department, Weaponry and Defense Department, and Realian Department will be waiting there. The rest of the trip is all through restricted area, so I must ask that you do not stray from way I lead you."

"Understood," I replied automatically, trying to keep my expression flat. It was easier said than done; I couldn't remember ever lying to Rukiro about a matter as serious as death.

She nodded and smiled again. "Please come this way, then."

_When we were little, I could never lie to him…_ I thought regretfully as we followed her through the door and down another hall. _I'd always stammer and change my story…he'd always see right through me. I'd fidget around and even cry when I was really small. Even with my father…I couldn't look straight at him when I was lying. But Rukiro? I could never look into __**his **__eyes and flat out lie._

_And yet I just did…so instinctively…_

_What have I become?_

She swiped her key card through the lock and the door slid open. I inwardly noted it was a great deal thicker than the others doors on the ship and pressed the button on my connection gear to record the route we walked so I could sync it to my map of the Dammerüng. I would, of course, have to encrypt the file with protection since I was adding data that wasn't at the security level I had access to.

The brown-haired woman lead us through a series of halls, doorways, security checks, and past a few security guards that nodded respectfully to us when we were prompted to show our ID cards. After one final elevator ride, we reached a large circular room with six doors and a dome ceiling. My line of vision was instantly drawn to the transparent glass ceiling and brilliantly clear view of the dark sky and stars above.

The sight was breathtaking and mesmerizing; it was all so much clearer than the night sky of Earth. Each star seemed brighter than closer. No pollutants in the atmosphere or the familiar cloak of artificial light dying the sky gray existed. The only thing that marred the incredible view were two metal arches high above, connecting two connections of the ship.

Regrettably, I didn't have time to give it further examination. A group of five scientists, three women and two men, were gathered in the room. All but one wore Vector uniforms; three were of the First Division and one represented the Second Division. A tall, thin man with short silvery white hair turned around as soon as we entered and smiled.

He stood out from the others for a several reasons. His eyes were a calm blue-green; they appeared unusually bright, remarkably like KOS-MOS'. His skin was slightly darker, a sort of tanned color though paler than that of Mary Magdalene. He didn't wear a Vector uniform, either. _It is. It's him…_ I thought numbly as he walked forward, extending a gloved hand as he introduced himself.

"Hello, Hikaru Uzuki. My name is Zion Hawking, it's an honor to met the young scientist who revived KOS-MOS."

_Yeshua._

"Call me Hikaru," I replied, trying not to sound preoccupied, as a shook his hand. "Have we met before?"

His unreadable though kind smile returned. "This is the first time the Dammerüng has come in contact with Lost Jerusalem in over a hundred years. I'm afraid that's impossible in this reality for someone like myself who was born here."

"Right…," I said quietly.

"It's good to see you have come, too, Mr. Kukai," Zion said politely as he turned to Rukiro, reaching out to shake his hand.

Rukiro nodded silently in reply, less than subtly sliding his hands into his pockets. I would have glared at him for being stubborn, but lacked the resolve to explain Zion's identity immediately. _It'd only worry him more…he'd be even more suspicious of me._

Zion wasn't affected by Rukiro's rudeness in the slightest. He held out a silver key card to me and began to explain. "As you have been informed, KOS-MOS has been appointed a lab here in the Restricted Area. You will need an escort to authorize the final security check, but this Triple B Level Pass has been programmed to permit your access to KOS-MOS' lab and the entire Transcend Technology Division's database. You are free to copy as much of the data as you want to your connection gear as long as you maintain Double A Level encryption. If you need it upgraded to maintain that protection level, we can take care of that for you."

I nodded and pocketed the silver key card. "Thanks. I've already used Ormus' technology to raise the protection level of my connection gear, so it's solid. Is there anything else I need to know about the Dammerüng's database?"

"No, that covers it. KOS-MOS' maintenance bed has been connected and her energy reserves have been replenished. Any repairs or modifications you need to make will be assisted by this crew," he added, motioning to the group of scientists in Vector uniforms.

_Crap. I'm going to be bossing people twice my age around again…I kept most of my team on Ormus within ten years of my age. Hopefully they won't question me too much; beggars can't really be choosers._

_Besides…all the programmers and engineers who helped me with her are probably dead now. They lost their lives because of her. _I closed my eyes momentarily to suppress the sudden darker turn in my thoughts as I nodded in confirmation to Zion. _I have to focus. I don't know how KOS-MOS is gong to react to seeing chaos again; it's not like the two of them are going to be able to say anything will all these other scientist around._

"I appreciate it. I'll start immediately," I replied, hesitating for a moment before dropping the formalities, unsure what he was planning. "Don't you want to see her?"

"That's alright," he said enigmatically, "I doubt there is time for that today. Let her sleep."

_He…doesn't want to talk to her? Was it because of what I said at the Beach of Nothingness? So much happened around then…I hardly remember what I said to him. Just being there was confusing and learning of my father…and myself…was disorienting on its own. I told him her left eye was blue and her right red, didn't I? I just can't recall. _

"Are you sure?" I asked, trying not to sound too relieved.

"Of course. I hope to see you again before you depart, Hikaru."

"Uh, sure," I stammered, cursing myself for being too unprofessional. There wasn't a doubt our conversation was being recorded on the security cameras. "It was nice to met you."

"Good day, Hikaru, Rukiro," he said as he walked past us toward the elevator.

_That didn't feel right at all, _I thought as the door slid behind us slid open. _Could I be wrong about something? Zion Hawking looks identical to Yeshua and chaos but they acted so differently. I suppose it just might be because the chaos Shion and KOS-MOS knew was never deeply involved in an organization like this. But something feels wrong._

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Author's note: _Holy crap! _I hooked my old PS2 up today (I had my 360 plugged into my only audio/visual port to take some scripts. I held the PlayStation controller, the shape of control that's been in my hands since my dad got my Spyro for the PS1 when I was five or six, and it felt _so wrong._

I'm so ashamed. XD The controller felt small and weird. The buttons seemed in the wrong place. Three months of addiction to my new Xbox360 playing Infinite Undiscovery and Star Ocean: The Last Hope have me totally accustomed to the Xbox controller. Granted, this very could be the first time I turned my PS2 or PS3 on 2009, but goodness…I was glued to my PS3 for most of November! The pregnant crab controller of the 360 felt more natural than a PS controller! -faints-

Oh, why I call it a pregnant crab? XD It's something my dad came up with when he got his 360 a few years ago. He said it was heavy, big, and crab-like and that the big battery pack made it look pregnant. So…um…yeah. XD

But I am happy to say this chapter is over 4,000 words! Next one should be the same size or larger!


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